What if people bought cars like they buy computers? General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did.... ---------------------------------------------------------------- HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you? Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened! HelpLine: Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it? Customer: What's an ignition? HelpLine: It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine. Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all these technical terms just to use my car? ---------------------------------------------------------------- HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you? Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere! HelpLine: Is the gas tank empty? Customer: Huh? How do I know? HelpLine: There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing? Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean? HelpLine: It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the vendor to install it for you. Customer: What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in! ---------------------------------------------------------------- HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you? Customer: Your cars suck! HelpLine: What's wrong? Customer: It crashed, that's what wrong! HelpLine: What were you doing? Customer: I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and it won't start now! HelpLine: It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it? Customer: I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash any more! --------------------------------------------------------------- HelpLine: General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you? Customer: Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks. HelpLine: Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you? Customer: How do I work it? HelpLine: Do you know how to drive? Customer: "Do I know how to what?" HelpLine: Do you know how to drive? Customer: I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car! Nothing but Jokes by Nauman Faridi