Outside,it was one of those sunsets that nobody looks at,a
red,orange and purple massacre,spilling its guts out infront of the
city.
I dont understand why nobody notices. Those sunsets, they bleed all
over.
I ran.I ran as fast as i could through the dark park as the sun set.
first the sky turned gray,like smudged newsprint-there seemed to be
words up there-then it all faded into blue. as i ran out of the park
behind a tall building,night fell.i could hear it. everything became
quiet.The sky went black.
why was i running? i was running from images,memories, hidden deep
down in the darkest most secret places of my mind where nobody will
ever find them.
I ran. i ran past the big building,over a big road. behind me i felt
the presence of someone,but i knew i couldnt turn around or stop.
thats when it started raining. i let the rain drip through my hair
and down the end of it,onto my shirt. my shoes filled with water. it
was raining so hard i almost misse dthe building,but i stopped out
of instinct. at first,the security doorman wudnt let me in.but i
flirted a little. i let him stare at my shirt.
upstairs,i slid through a door into a fancy apartment.i followed the
sound of a television. i went towards tobey's room. i knew his
parents were out tonight.
the blue light from the television casta blue light over his
sleeping face. raindrops slid down the walls like tears. I looked at
him,his innocent face.
He must have felt me presence,my fear.he woke up.
what are you doing here,he asked
I took off my Tshirt. i dropped it on the floor.
Then i said: Fuck me.
A few hours later,i got dressed and left the appartment. i didnt
wake him up. i didnt say goodbye.
i was running as fast as i could trough the rain.alone. again.
everyone thinks they're doin the right thing. but some people cant
see anyone but themselves.they think they can,but they're always
looking in a mirror. they think theyre doing the right thing for
someone else,but that someone else turns out to be themselves.
surprise.