I could hear the rain, fall heavily against the window It was late, middle of the night. My bed was cold, as I lay there on my own. I watched the drops of water roll down the glass Like little lives running away from the truth. He wouldn’t come home tonight. I already knew, before dawn came. The first few months he used to sneak out when I was asleep. He made sure not to wake me up. I noticed in my sleep. I felt alone. I was confused at first. ‘Til I opened my eyes and saw. The lipstick on his collar, the perfume on his skin. I could feel her when he held me. I knew who she was, deep inside. It might have been intuition, or suspicion, that led me home that night. He thought I was going to be gone all night. I came home to see him, and I saw him all right. Not on his own watching TV or listening to music. But in bed, with her. You could see the shock in their eyes, The apologies forming in his mind. I left the room, went downstairs. I put on the kettle, got out some biscuits, as usual. I heard her rush down the stairs, and out of the door. He came to me, apologised. I didn’t answer. He sat down, I made him his tea. Still not speaking. After a while it lost its importance. Things were back to normal. He went to work and came home in time. We made love, but distantly. After I would turn around, and cry myself to sleep. The neighbours knew. They all wondered why. Why I didn’t leave him? I couldn’t. It was Love. I loved him to death. I didn’t care what he did, as long as he was with me. After a year or so he started it again. He didn’t come home some nights. I knew it was her again. But he hid it well. It was his touch that gave it away. He touched me the way she liked it. Not me. One night, I sat in my chair. I watched my man, as he sat quietly across the room. ‘Would you like some more wine?’ the last question I would ever ask. He took a sip from his glass, tasting the dry wine. Full of love, and all for the best, I got my gun and gave him the rest. I put the Gun to the head, pulled the trigger. And now forever I can watch him Laying there, across the room With a bullet through his head.