People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.
At +60º - North Carolinians start turning on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.
At +50º - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
At +40º - Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.
At +30º - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
At +20º - Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
At +15º - Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
At 0º - People in Miami begin freezing to death...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.
At -20º - Californians evacuate to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
At -40º - Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
At -60º - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
At -80º - Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.
At -100º - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
At -297º - Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
At -460º - ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
At -500º - Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!