Of Pine and Sakura Trees

by Lilianne

***

Part 2

It was all for the best. It's better this way, right?

The pavement creaked slightly as Kaoru made his way through the street. Hands inside his pockets, he kicked an unfortunate pebble, landing inside a grating. He thought that he loved Toshiya, he really did. Who would've known that his feelings could change? Or did it, really?

His lips quirked upwards as he noticed a baseball game at the other side of the fence. Such lively creatures, these little boys.

I want to have kids. My own children.

He may not look like it, but the pink-haired guitarist had always thought of becoming a father, a husband. He couldn't do with these petty crushes and beautiful lovers anymore. He had to start thinking of his future. His own family. Settling down and living a peaceful life. Yes, that was what he wanted.

[Really? Is that what you really want?]

Of course that's what I want. My parents always dreamed about having grandchildren and things like that.

[Think about it, Kaoru.]

He broke out of his reverie when he noticed people giving him funny looks. The guitarist blushed a deep red and excused himself with a smile from the staring pedestrians.

***

"Hey, wanna go grab a bite?", Die asked the bassist, noticing the forlorn look of his friend. The latter shook his head in response.

"Iie, I'll just go home and get some rest. It has been a rough day."

"Okay, then. How about you, Kaoru? Kyo? Shinya?"

The leader just waved off, a sign for them to go on ahead without him. He had to talk to Yoshiki about this new single that they're going to release anytime soon.

"I don't have money. You treating, Die-sama?", Kyo gave the guitarist an innocent smile plus the puppy dog eyes.

"In your dreams."

"Wah! So mean!", the vocalist pouted cutely.

Shinya, as usual just rolled her eyes, secretly grateful that he wasn't the one being teased for a change.

"What about you, Shin-chan?"

Oops, guess he spoke too soon.

The red-haired guitarist were inches from his face, a seductive smirk plastered on his face. As expected, the drummer pushed the so-called nuisance out of the way, and sauntered towards the exit with the short blonde and the redhead trailing behind him.

"C'mon, Shin-chan. I'll even treat you..."

"How come you treat him but not me, huh, Die? Dieeeee....!!!"

Their voices and whines echoed throughout the hallway, and Toshiya just shook his head while packing his bass.

It has nearly been a week and it is quite understandable that the tension still exists between the former lovers. And in the time that has passed, everyone in the band knew what had happened. Of course being the friends that they were, each one tried to help out whenever they can --- even Shinya. And for that Kaoru and Toshiya were grateful. They were able to settle matters with their help.

To anyone who doesn't know Dir En Grey, it seems that everything is just normal. Almost normal. The more observant ones could probably sense unease, tension so thick that it could be cut by a knife; and that all the smiles from two of the band members were mere facades, masking their true emotions.

Toshiya looked at his previous lover. He should hate him. He tried to hate him. But he can't. It wasn't anybody's fault. He had to admit, he couldn't give Kaoru what he wanted.

I want to have children.

Those words echoed in his minds. Who would have thought Kaoru to be such a sentimentalist? Toshiya smiled bitterly. He would even think it to be kawaii, if he wasn't so hurt.

This sucks! I'm not anatomically compatible with the man I love. Heh!

[You really fit well together, though, remember that time when...]

Shaddup, you hentai mind!

Toshiya blushed furiously.

The blue-haired bassist would go into transplant, if that's what Kaoru wanted.

Sigh. What happened to my pride? What happened to finding someone who'll love me for what I am? Besides, I don't think Kaoru would want that. He wants a real woman, not some pretty cross-dresser who went under surgery.

Yeah, he deserves someone better...a girl, to be exact. Oh well, he is luckier than others, isn't he? They parted as friends, and at least he had that friendship, even if he still hurt inside.

If only I were born a woman, then I'd be perfect for him.

He couldn't help wishing, even if he does seem ungrateful. Sometimes when he looked at his reflection, he would curse his body, as if he would suddenly transform into one of the female specie. Of course that didn't happen, and Totchi would sigh, and he would end up seated on the couch, going through the worn scrapbook he had created when he was with Kaoru.

Well, it's over now.

Toshiya contained a sigh. He slipped silently out the door, careful not to disturb the band leader, his bass slung over his shoulder, shoes making little noise on the tiled floor. He pushes the door of the studio exit, and walked with his pretty blue head bowed, oblivious of the admiring stares he got from the passerbys.

A blue curtain parted to make way for half of a solemn face.

"See ya, Totchi.", a whisper barely audible escaped under Kaoru's breath as his eyes followed the beautiful man as he walked. And there he stood, watching from the window.

***

Just what is it with this moron? First, he teases me so unmercifully, next he's being all nice and adorable. Wait. A-adorable? Where did that come from? He's not adorable, he's a jerk! I am not attracted to Die, nor do I like him. He's a pathetic excuse of a human being who has no compassion for people. He's a rude ape who has the brain of a jellyfish who just so happens to have some skills in playing a guitar. I bet this is just another one of his tricks. Yeah, that's it! He says that he'll treat me then he orders everything he wants and then leaves ME with the tab! Why, that sneak! Hah...why I oughta...

"Fantasizing about me, Shin-chan?", the redhead purred.

"Ohoho! Shinya has crush on Die? Ne? Ne?", Kyo was nudging at the drummer and winking suggestively for all it's worth.

Nani?! Me? Fantasizing about...him? Of all people? Ewww! Erm...why's my face so hot all of a sudden?

"Ohhhh...lookie! Shinyaaa's blushiiing!" Kyo was really starting to annoy Shinya. Just because Die agreed to pay for all these, the two have been ganging up on him since they entered the cafe. Why did he agree to go with them anyway? He should've just gone straight home and ate there.

Tease, tease, tease. Will they ever stop? Will HE ever stop? I'm so tired, can't I get some goddamn peace?! Why do they always pick on me anyway? Coz I'm the youngest? That is so unfair! I had a tiring day and I can't tolerate anymore of their shenanigans. So there!

"Could it be...", the guitarist patted the head of the drummer, "that Shin-chan has a crush on me?"

The vocalist giggled and Shinya winced at the horrible rhyme. He can't take this anymore. That was the last straw!

So he did the only thing left to do.

He bapped Die and Kyo on their heads and stormed out of the cafe without a word, leaving the two staring at his retreating back.

to be continued

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