MASK

by nezu

Part 1 ~ Sweet life, Mad life, Last life, Brain crash ~

~He shifted uncomfortably from one feet to the other. Why was everyone

staring at him like that? He didn't look bad, did he? Toshiya, which

his friends called him, smiled shyly and closed the door from the

backstage room.

Five foreign faces stared back. Two of them looked rather scary but,

he admitted to himself, rather sexy too. His lips curved upwards into an

seductive grin. "La: Sadies, right?", he asked.

"Hai, D+L, right?", one of them asked back, his voice slightly husky.

It sent shivers down Toshiya's neck as he nodded. "Hontou!

Hajimemashite, ne?" He walked over to the five guys and bowed respectfully, then he

shot them one of his killer-smiles and posed erotically. "What do you

think of my new outfit minna-san?"

The guys sweat-dropped. Then the one with the red hair, named Kisaki,

laughed. "It suits you, sexy one!"

Toshiya grinned proudly. "I know darling, thank you!", he said and blew

him a kiss.

They didn't seem to be offended by his open nature, no, they even

enjoyed it. Just the one with the black-purple hair and husky voice ignored

his comment, unfortunately, Toshiya thought. He was sexy.~

That was the first time he had met him. The blue-haired man sighed and

closed his eyes in defeat. Now, years after their first meeting, he

couldn't push it away anymore, like he had done it before. The mask was

fading.....and he was scared.

//Why did it happen to me?//

//Why did it happen with HIM?//

//Couldn't it had been Kyo or Die?//

//Just not him, who had been offended by him since....since they knew

each other?//

Toshiya clenched his fists and tried to push the depressing thoughts

away, but it didn't work. They were replaying in his mind again and again.

Suddenly he felt being watched and jerked around. His beautiful brown

eyes widened in surprise. "Something wrong Kaoru-kun?", he tried to

sound casual. The leader didn't reply. He kept staring at Toshiya awkwardly

and came closer. With each step he took, Toshiya became more afraid.

What was going on?

"I should ask that, Toshiya-kun.", he said finally, standing near the

pretty bassist. "You have been really quiet for a long time now, are you

okay? You know we need to get out on stage in a few minutes and

perform! So if you aren't feeling well, better say it now!"

//The band, of course...why did I even HOPE he worries for ME....//

//Toshiya no baka.....you should know by now that he doesn't care for

you!//

//You are just....the bassist who happens to be a human being.....//

"No, I am fine Kaoru-kun.....I am fine, don't worry, we'll perform

tonight!", Toshiya answered and did his best to sound happy. He even

managed an seductive smile, while putting his sunglasses on and leaving the

room, the guitarist one step behind.

The five guys entered the stage just seconds later. The screams and

happy shrieks echoing in their ears, as they walked to their places.

Shinya behind the drums, Die in the left with his guitar, in the middle

their vocalist Kyo, Kaoru with his guitar on the right and Toshiya one

meter behind him with his bass.

First song, MASK.

Kyo's powerful voice soon filled the air and the fans cheered. The

scary ( I know he isn't, but he likes to be...^//^ <~~ loves Kyo, ne? )

little man grinned inwardly and lifted his arms in the high, reminding

wings. ( ya know like the video to MASK where they were playing a Fanclub

Live ;)

"hane wo hirogete miyou arumi no hane

oni no inu ma ni jimen ni hayaku ochiyou

hane wo hirogete miyou kuzure yuku yume

kanawanu yume jimen ni hayaku chiribame..."

Just as his first part ended, he felt two strong arms embracing him

from behind and his breath caught as someone nibbled carefully at his

throat. His eyes got wide and he shot a quick glance to the person's face.

Kaoru. The blond vocalist grinned evilly and relaxed.

//Trying to make him jealous, aren’t we?//

As soon as Kaoru embraced him he let him go and stepped back, lifting

one arm and looking guilty as if something bothered him.

//More like someONE//

Kaoru carefully watched the blue-haired bassist. Nothing, really

nothing showed that he minded his action with Kyo just now. The guitarist

sighed and tilted his gaze back to the crowd. At least they seemed to like

it. Although 'liking' his action wasn't what he wanted to receive.

//I am being childish now.....//

//I could have guessed that he wouldn't get....yeah, jealous.//

Anyways, maybe he should just stop thinking about Toshiya THAT way. It

was clear the pretty bassist didn't go for him, not in the way Kaoru

wanted to. Oh yes, he knew perfectly well that Toshiya was sexually

attracted by him. But he didn't wanted it to be a one-night-stand. He felt

more then that for his friend. Unfortunately, he added.

Little did Kaoru know how much his 'childish' plan had worked.

The tall bassist found himself biting on his lower lip with the sight

of Kaoru and Kyo together. He couldn't tear his gaze from them, as much

as he wanted to. His heart froze and he was glad he had put the

sunglasses on, hiding his pain from the others. He shut his eyes tight and

stroked his bass with all his anger and hurt. Luckily the fans and neither

the others seemed to notice.

//Sure, they are all obsessed with Kaoru's little show//

After the performance came to an end, Die and Kyo decided to celebrate

and tugged poor Shinya with them. Toshiya usually didn't refuse, but

tonight he wasn't really in the mood for party, so he just shook his head

and left for the door as suddenly he was stopped by Kaoru.

"Aren't you feeling well Toshiya?", he asked in this husky voice of

his, Toshiya remembered from their first meeting. His eyes shone with

concern and something else the bassist couldn't name.

He smiled and nodded. "Doomo arigachoo Kaoru!"

"Fine then. I just thought you might feel ill, because you didn't went

with Die, Kyo and Shinya....", Kaoru trailed off, lost in this smile.

Pouting, Toshiya crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Why do you

all think I'm obsessed with parties? I can live without them too!" He was

getting angry now. Everybody seemed to think he was just flirty and

always on for sex, but that wasn't right. He hungered for love, for real,

true, everlasting love just like all people do.

"Gomen, I didn't mean to annoy you Toshiya, I was just worried, you

don't look like yourself lately.", the leader sighed and shot him an

excusing glance, tucking nervously a few strands of hair behind his ear. He

took a step closer to the bassist and tried to avoid his eyes. "See,

I....I. .....", and with that he pulled the stunned man in a tight

embrace and hugged him for a second, then he let go, unsure what to do or to

say. "I better leave now, ne? Oyasumi Toshiya!" Kaoru turned around

and hurried for the door, but like he did earlier, Toshiya held him back.

"Kaoru..."

That was it. He couldn't resist. Slowly he lifted his eyes upwards and

was lost again. This time in chocolate eyes, only inches away from his.

His breath caught.

~to be continued

*bah* am I mean or am I mean? *g*

thanks to VM for correcting my grammar mistakes in the prologue, ne?

^_^/ I am really glad!

comments: the 'doomo arigachoo' isn't the usual way 'doomo arigatou' is

written, I know. A Japanese friend of mine writes it like that and I

thought it's just too cute, perfectly for Toshiya. *fu fu fu*

Anyways, Kaoru, Kyo, Shinya and Die were in a band called La:Sadies

before they performed Dir en Grey with Toshiya, who was in a band called

D+L then. La:Sadies bassist was Kisaki ( Mirage ). But as they disbanded

the four other members decided to play together again and formed Dir en

Grey with Toshiya, whom they met during their tour in Nagano. That are

the infos 'I' have, if I am wrong with something, PLEASE tell me. I am