MASK

by nezu

Part 3 ~ hane wo hirogete miyou kuzure yuku yume ~

Toshiya grinned and plopped down in his lover's lap, beside Kaoru.

Black eyes watching his movements with desire, as the pretty bassist

snuggled closer to the enviable person, he called his lover. Each smile, each

meaningful glance stabbed into Kaoru's heart. Two weeks after their

'accident' and Toshiya had found someone new, again.... They were all in

Kyo's and Toshiya's apartment for a drink, after their successful

performance that day. It would have been a great day, hadn't Toshiya told

them about his new lover and asked them to meet him. And now, they were

sitting there, sipping at some drinks and talking about stuff. Just he

was quiet and thoughtful.

Oh yes, it was all HIS mistake. Why didn't he give in, when he got the

chance? He could have at least one night with his love! But he was too

vain. Kaoru sighed deeply and closed his eyes. Kyo had warned him, but

he didn't listened and now it was too late. A cheerful laugh brought

his attention back and focused on the bassist again. He was laughing and

joking with the others, all the while stroking absentmindedly through

his lover’s black hair. The rest of Kaoru's heart broke at the sight.

How could he do that, his mind screamed as tears burned in the corner of

his black orbs. His fist clenched tightly, long nails stabbing into

flesh, drawing blood. It went unnoticed. Sudden hate shot through his

veins. Hate for the person who could actually do that to him. Hate for

himself, that he LET him do that to him. And finally hate for the beautiful

stranger, who managed to get 'him'. Kaoru jumped up hatefully, his chair

falling to the ground with a loud noise. Four pairs of brown eyes shot

up, watching him, surprised by the anger in their leader's face.

"What is it Kaoru-kun?", Kyo dared to ask, not realizing what was wrong

with his bandmate.

"I'm tired of watching our band-slut making out, that is it!", was all

he got for an reply.

Unbelieving, they stared at him. Their eyes full of shock. Kaoru smiled,

feeling light. His gaze swept over to his blue-haired bandmate, who was

white like a sheet of paper, chocolate eyes burning with something he

couldn't name. The smile widened and he spoke with all the hate he

thought he felt towards Toshiya. "Why are you surprised Toshimasa, I thought

I've made myself clear two weeks ago? Or don't you remember...oh yeah,

that must be it! Why do I even think you would remember that? After all

you are occupied with your little playdolls, nee? But I'm sick of your

fucking flirting with each handsome or attractive creature you meet in

front of us, of me! Do you get it? STOP it!", Kaoru shouted, his heart

wrenched as he saw Toshiya's tear-strained face, but he was hurt too

deep to hold his anger back. "And don't you dare to cry now! I see

through your façade you put on! I know your tears aren't real, you just

squeeze them out to get pitied!"

"That's not true....", Toshiya whispered, but nonetheless wiping his

tears away.

"No? Oh come ON!", their leader mockingly laughed. "We all know it's

more than true crybaby Toshiya!"

"STOP it Kaoru!", Die hissed, standing up too. "It's enough!"

Kaoru's gaze focused on the red-head's angry and shocked face. He shook

his head and smiled. "Alright Die, I'll let your ex-lover in peace for

now, although I don't understand why you help him anyway. After all

he's got a new lover and dumped you for goodness-sake!", he said calmly,

turned around and left the apartment, leaving an uncomfortable silence

behind.

//Toshiya's lover?//, the thought shot through Shinya's head, making

him feel stupid all of the sudden.

"And this fucking guy is your bandleader?", Toshiya's lover was the

first to break the silence. He shook his head. "He has not much fun, does

he??"

"Shut up!", Toshiya screamed suddenly and buried his head between his

knees, sobbing quietly. "He's right....I'm just a FUCKING SLUT!"

Wide-eyed the others watched the usually self-confident man. Toshiya's

lover pulled him carefully out of his lap and stood up, stroking the

bassist's head slightly. "I'm better leaving you guys now, you surely

have something to work out, nee? I hope we'll meet sometime again!", he

strolled out, closing the door softly behind him.

"Toshi....I'm sure....I'm sure Kaoru doesn't mean what he said, he was

just in a bad mood I guess!," Die tried to soothe the trembling man,

hugging him and placing a light kiss on the blue hair. "Calm down Toshi,

you know you're NOT a slut.....and we know too, don't we?"

"Sure we do, and I think Die-kun is right Toshi....!", Kyo whispered,

still shocked by Kaoru's sudden outburst. After all he KNEW that Kaoru

LOVED Toshiya! How could he say something like that to the bassist he

loved? That was far beyond Kyo's understanding.

Lost in thought's the two men didn't notice how pale their drummer was.

How he buried his nails into his mini-skirt, how his eyes held a sudden

dangerous shimmer. Kaoru's last sentence replayed in his mind again and

again. Images from Die laughing with Toshiya, cuddling him into a tight

embrace, flirting with him and going out for a drink with him, plopped

through his head. Why had he been so blind? It was clear that Die felt

something for the pretty bassist, and Shinya couldn't harm him for

that. Toshiya was a really beautiful creature, he must admit, far prettier

than he could ever be. But....why in hell did he think about that

anyway? He didn't felt the urge to be prettier than Toshiya, then why did

he envy him so much all of the sudden?

"Let's get Toshiya to bed, nee Kyo?", Die's dark voice broke through

Shinya's thought's.

The vocalist nodded and helped Die to carry the broken and sobbing

bassist into his room, taking care of Toshiya's clothes and tugging him

under the sheets carefully. Then the two went back into the living where

Shinya sat waiting. "I'll stay with Toshiya tonight, so you two can

share my room!", Kyo suggested.

"No, I'll leave...", Shinya said hastily and searched for his coat.

"Don't you dare Shin-chan, we wouldn't get a beautiful man in the

danger by walking around in this sexy clothes all by himself in this time of

night, would we Kyo?", Die stopped the drummer and grinned slightly.

"I won't bite you know, until you want me to!"

Kyo smirked. "You know Shinya-kun, Die is right, we won't let you go

out in the dark!", the blond vocalist laughed quietly seeing the flushed

face of the drummer. "I gotta go now, oyasumi nasai minna!"

"....."

"So let's go to bed too, nee Shin-chan?", Die said, after Kyo was out

of sight.

"....."

Die's face fell. What was it with him that the pretty drummer found so

disgusting? It was obviously clear that Shinya didn't want to spend the

night with him together in one room, at all. Was it because he always

teased the drummer? Or because the drummer hated him? Maybe both. Die

sighed and smiled bitterly, about to say something, as Shinya's soft

voice cut him off.

"Okay, okay...", he sighed. "Let's go, but I warn you, leave me in

peace for once!"

"Sure, I promise!", Die cheerfully announced and tugged the confused

Shinya behind him. He closed the door of Kyo's bedroom, stripped and

plopped down into the black sheets, grinning at Shinya invitingly.

"Don't stare at me!", Shinya mumbled embarrassed whilst stepping out of

his clothes and sitting down beneath Die, carefully trying not to touch

the other man.

Die frowned. "What is it with you? Don't you think I've seen all that

before?"

Silence. Then Shinya's anger won over and he turned to Die. "No, I

don't think you haven't seen that all before, since you are so eager in

this, just like Toshiya! I must say you two fit together very well!"

"Shinya...?"

"I'm NOT that innocent you might think I am, Daisuke Ando! I know

perfectly well what happened between you two and don't you dare to say that's

not true! Even Kaoru noticed it! But I tell you what, I'm not like

Toshiya and you, so leave me alone already!", the drummer hissed hotly.

The red-head stared at him sadly for more than a minute, before he

laughed self-mockingly. "I know you hate me Shin-ch...Shinya, but can't you

just pretend for tonight you don't?", he paused before he admitted, "It

would mean a lot for me, since I would like to tell you

something.....please listen, okay?"

"I don't thi...."

"Please!"

"Alright, just don't think I'll believe you!", Shinya said, stubbornly

crossing his arms in front of his naked chest.

Die nodded. "At first, Toshiya and I haven't been lovers nor are we

now, we just like to flirt with each other, that's all. Second, I don’t

think at all you're like Toshiya....", he trailed off, not knowing how

to explain himself. As he watched Shinya's face fall slightly, he spoke

up again. "No, not like that! I think...I think you are more beautiful

than Toshiya to tell the truth, but..."

"But? But what?", the drummer laughed coldly. "Don't lie to me Die, I

know I'm not beautiful!"

"You are!", the other man said, his eyes suddenly soft. "You are far

more beautiful than I could describe Shinya, but you are so cold. Never

talking with us, never telling us something about you. Don't you think

that hurts us? Me? Don't you know, that this is the only reason that I

tease you? Just to get a reply from you, to make sure you actually live!

I tell you Shinya, I know that you hate me, but couldn't we try to act

friendly with the others around? Please?"

There was these uncomfortable silence again.

"I don't hate you Die....", came Shinya's soft-spoken reply. "But I

don't believe you're teasing me because you want to get a reply from me!

You don't like me, THAT is why you tease me!"

Die sighed. "Stubborn you are.", then he smiled a little. "Is it true

you don't hate me? Is that really true Shinya?"

"Of course it is, I don't lie!"

"That's great, because I didn't lie either!", the guitarist said,

grinning like a fool. But he couldn't help it, he was just so glad Shinya

didn't hate him. "And I DO like you....I like you more than I want

to......", he whispered.

Shinya's eyes got wide. Die wasn't about to say what he thought he was

about to say, right? That couldn't be! That must be some sort of a

trick! Probably just teasing again. Yes, that must be it, teasing, simple

cruelly teasing. The pretty drummer bit on his lip until he could taste

his blood on his tongue. "Don't tease me Daisuke, that's not funny!", he

managed to get out.

"I don't....Shinya, I..."

"Stop it Die! STOP it!", Shinya hissed, glaring at the other man

angrily. "Why can't you just shut up? Why do you need to hurt me that much

again and again? I don't believe you at all, you're just fooling around

and making fun out of me, like always, aren’t you? There's NO WAY you

liking me!"

"But I do! I LOVE you Shinya! I LOVE you!"

~ to be continued

the quote today:

~ spread your wings and see - a collapsing dream ~

Thanks goes to VM ^_^/ *waveshello* and to pukachan for her nice

comments! This part is for you, since you like Shinya and Die so much. Tell

me if you liked it, okay?