Deep, deep…

tsmrhara

Deep, deep

Part 4

 

 

Die was happily preparing dinner and waiting for his lover to arrival. The drummer had call him earlier on saying that he will be coming over. It had been a week since he last spends his day with the drummer.

 

And it was entire the bassist fault.

 

Feeling annoyed suddenly upon remembering this. He just wants his lover to spend more time with him instead of Toshiya.

 

But it was our fault isn’t it Die? We have to make sure Toshiya will be happy before we enjoy our own happiness.

 

Die pouted. This is what his lover had told him, he had agreed at first due to the pleading from Shinya but he never thought that thing will ended like this. A few months had passed but… when will the bassist be happy?

 

What if he remains unhappy for his entire life? Do you intend to accompany him forever?

 

 

 

Shinya stood outside the red head apartment. Having deep thought, he was in turmoil. How is he going to tell Die? Telling him that he had agreed to be the bassist’s lover?

 

Afraid.

 

Dilemma.

 

Pain… Sorrow…

 

It was my retribution.  

 

 

 

Die put down the last plate of dish on the table, he look at the clock then at his watch, making sure that the time is right. He was wandering what taking his lover so long to reach.

 

 

 

Again, he pulled back his hand when they were about to reach the doorbell. He just cannot understand since when he had become such a coward to face the reality? Finally taking a deep breadth, he stretch out his finger again.

 

 

 

The doorbell rang. Die immediately rush to the door and open it. His mood lightens up as soon when he saw the drummer. Without waiting for another minutes, he pulls his lover to the dinning table.

 

“ You cooked all this?” Shinya asked in surprise.

 

“ Just for you, my love!”

 

The lovers sat down to have their dinner. Chatting, laughing just like any other time when they are together. The smile on the drummer face, the grin from Die when he make fun of his lover. It was just like the pass, yes like the pass when they are happily together but this feeling is only what Die is thinking now.

 

Shinya was smiling as usual but deep in his heart, he was crying. The red head is treating him so well, he even cook for him and he know Die is learning cooking just for him because the red head wants him to eat more so that he won’t be that skinny.

 

But Die, you’re so cruel to Toshiya. You seem to forget he’s also once your lover.

 

“ Shinya?” Die called again wondering what he’s lover was thinking about.

 

Shinya regain his attention, Die was looking worrying at him. The drummer take a deep breadth, he know he have to take out all his courage now before hurting more people or ruining the whole band. But will the band be fine if I…?

 

“ Die… actually I …”

 

 

 

 

The music was loud, peoples were dancing madly at the dance floor, and some of them were making out at any corner they could find. Pairs and pairs of lover hugging, kissing, laughing, teasing one another and all these was making the bassist sick. He had come to the bar an hour ago since Shinya left. He thought he needs somewhere that is noisy to cure his loneliness but he was wrong. Maybe some beer will help but still it isn’t working.

 

He knows what he needs. He needs someone who is willing to accompany him. Who will that person be? Shinya? Die?

 

Impossible!!

 

 

 

After having a few mug of beer, the bassist was feeling a bit of tipsy. Instead of feeling much better, he felt worse now. The alcohol was making him more frustrated. He felt bad, he is feeling worse, and he is feeling painful, not because of the alcohol but his heart. He felt bad because of what he had done to Shinya and he felt painful because he was shrugging between what is right and wrong.

 

Shinya deserve it!

 

Die should be responsible for all!

 

Shinya is the one who snatch him away!

 

But Shinya cares for me. He is not acting, he really care for me. I can feel it!

 

Toshiya covered his face with his hands. The question was shrugging in his head again! He felt like crying, he wants to give up his revenge, he wants to but why can’t he stop?

 

“ Someone help me…” He muttered out softly, tears dripping down his chin.

 

“ Toshiya?”

 

The bassist’s heart skips a bit when he felt someone tapping on his shoulder and calling his name. He quickly wipes his tears away and turn to face that person who he already knows who is it from the voice.

 

“ Kaoru-san.”

 

The leader takes a sit beside the bassist and orders a mug of beer. He had noticed the bassist’s eyes, he knows Toshiya had been crying but he decides not to ask anything. He remember the red head telling him that he had broke up with the bassist so Kaoru assumed that it must have something related to the red head.

 

“ You’re alone?” Toshiya asked, trying to find a topic to talk about.

 

“ Not until just now.” Kaoru answer, feeling relax as the quiet atmosphere finally breaks down. “ I’ve been throw behind by Die just now after he receives a call from don’t know whoever.”

 

The leader tensed up, realizing what he had mentioned just now. He notice the bassist quieting down again. Toshiya stared at his mug of beer, he know whom that person who called Die.

 

 

 

 

“ YOU WHAT!?” Die exclaimed.

 

Shinya took a few steps backward and stared at his lover. The red head look so frightening now that drummer was afraid he might dash to the bassist’s apartment and killed him. Instead of what the drummer was thinking, Die took a deep breadth and order Shinya to sits down followed by him. He lowered his voice noticing that his lover looks frighten.

 

“ Shinya, you can’t do this. What do you think I dump Toshiya for? Because I wants to be with you and now you telling me you’re going to be his lover until he found someone he really love!?”

 

“ I know but it all my fault so I …”

 

“ So you decides it without discussing with me.”

 

The drummer looks confused now. He understands what his lover was trying to say but he had promised the bassist and he does not want the bassist to get hurt again. Shinya clutched his hands; he had make the promised and he does not want to break it.

 

“ Sorry Die, but I have decides to follow what I had promised Toshiya.”

 

The red head narrowed his eyes.

 

The drummer keeps quiet.

 

“ FINE! Then do whatever you want!” Die speaks up suddenly and walks into his room slamming the door behind him.

 

“ Die…”

 

He’s angry, of course he will. Stupid Shinya, you deserve to be treated like that.

 

Shinya tried to stop his tears from dropping but failed. He cleared the dishes on the table, the dishes that his lover had cooked for him, the dishes that shows him how much Die love him. Now he had hurt two people instead of one.

 

I’m really a fool!

 

Shinya closes the door lightly and left Die’s apartment wondering whether he will still be able to enter this apartment as the red head’s lover again.

 

 

 

The sunlight shine brightly into the room, one night had passed but it seems to be a year to Die. He had been sitting beside the window since yesterday, he knows the drummer had left, he know Shinya was crying, he knows Shinya will feels bad for making him angry, he just know how kind his lover is to always blaming everything on himself. He wants to console the drummer but he was also so angry with him for what he had decides.  

 

Toshiya!! Yes, you’re the main causes and I had to settle the problem by myself before that silly Shinya do something foolish.

 

 

 

 

 

Kaoru opened his eyes and stared around at the unfamiliar environment. This is not his bedroom neither is it a familiar one, so where am I? The person who is sleeping beside him stirred his body and brings him back to attention. He stared at that person, his eyes widen and he sits up instantaneously.

 

“ Great…!” Kaoru mumble.

 

 

 

 

To be continue

By Tsmrhara

 

Kaoru: Great!! ^__^ I’m out! Thanks to reader who request for me to appear!

Author: Beg for feedback! @_@     

 

 

 

to be continue…

 

 

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