This just in...Noted Doughboy Dies.
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Fresh was buried Friday in a lightly greased coffin while doozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs.Butterworth, The Calilfornia Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveveyard was piled high with flours, as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife,Play Dough,two children;
John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly father,Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.