. Chapter 17 A little over a week had gone by. Alexis was completely settled back in Jax's penthouse. She was comfortable there; it had previously been her "home" for a good while. She and Ned were slowly putting the broken pieces of their relationship back together. Things weren't the same though, Ned continued to distance himself from any intimate contact with her and the subject of Sonny was never broached again. Alexis had decided to give Ned time. She never doubted that one day he would be able to forgive, but she also knew, he would never forget. Alexis hadn't seen Sonny since the night at Luke's, but she continued to think of him from time to time. She knew her feelings for him went beyond friendship but something about those feelings didn't make any sense to her...when Ned was around, Sonny was the last thing on her mind, but when he wasn't, Sonny continuously occupied her thoughts. She knew she had punctured his heart when she told him she had to make her relationship with Ned work, and she desperately wished she didn't have to mutilate it anymore by telling him she could no longer be his lawyer or have any contact with him. Alexis' heart ached at the thought of not seeing him again. For the past week, she had tried to come up with a plausible solution to keeping both men in her life, but she came to the conclusion that nothing was going to work...there was no way she was going to make both men happy. She was being forced to choose and although she didn't like it one bit, she knew it would be the best thing for all of them in the long run. After meeting with clients most of the morning and a lunch date from hell with opposing counsel, Alexis needed to get away. It was such a beautiful day that she decided to go to the park. Alexis was walking around when she spotted Sonny sitting on a bench. As she began to walk towards him, she contemplated whether to turn and walk away. “You can do it Alexis; you’re a strong lady. You aren’t going to melt in his presence. Besides, now is the perfect opportunity to tell him you can’t see him anymore! Ok, I can do this…I can!” she said to herself as she stood behind him. “Hi” Sonny turned around. “Hi.” “Mind if I sit down?” she asked before walking around to the front of the bench. “Not at all.” He said as he patted the bench. “Gosh, it’s such a beautiful day huh?” she said as she sat down beside him. “It is now.” He said as he nervously rubbed his hands together. Alexis just smiled at him and looked away. They sat there silently watching all the kids play. “I never took you as a park-kinda guy.” “I could say the same for you.” He shoot back with a dimpled grin on his face. “Do you come here often?” she asked…not knowing what else to say. “To tell you the truth, I think this is the first time I’ve ever come here alone. What about you…you come here often?” “Well, come to think of it, this happens to be only the second time I’ve come here alone. The first was when I caught Johnny in the bushes stalking me.” She said as she laughed. Sonny laughed with her. “So, what made you come here today?” “I don’t know. I was just sort of drawn to the place.” “Looks like our hearts drew us to the same place.” He said as he looked ahead of him. Alexis knew meeting up with Sonny in the park was more than a coincidence, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit it. She sat there without saying a word. “Deny it all you want to Alexis, but don’t tell me you don’t feel it…there is a force greater than you or I that is desperately trying to draw us together. You never come here, I never come here, and all of a sudden on the same day, at the same time, we end up in the same place?” “You might not realize it, but you heart came looking for me today, Alexis.” He said as he grabbed her hand and held it in his. As Sonny held on to her hands, Ned walked by and caught a glimpse of them. He found a place behind them where he would be unseen so he could eavesdrop on their conversation. He didn’t trust Alexis…not with Sonny. “Alexis, if you can tell me you don’t feel something when you are with me, I’ll walk away right now!” he said as he placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face so her eyes would meet his. Alexis shook her head. “I can’t do this Sonny. You have to understand that. I can’t be your friend, I can’t be your lawyer, and I can’t be your lover.” Sonny held her head in his hands forcing her to look at him again. “Tell me your body doesn’t tingle when I’m this close to you.” Alexis reached up, placed her hands around his arms and removed them from her head. She kept his hands held tight in hers. “You know I can’t do that, but admitting how I feel about you isn’t going to change anything between us…it’s only going to end up hurting you even more than I’ve already hurt you.” Sonny looked down at their hands locked together. “There is a man out there that has brought more joy and happiness into my life than I ever thought possible. He showed me what it felt like to love and be loved…nobody has ever loved me the way he loves me. Sonny, I’m the person I am today because of him…because of the way he loves me. I can’t turn my back on a love that seems to be eternal.” Ned's heart was breaking along with Alexis' as he listened to her words. "And nobody has ever loved me the way you love me Alexis Davis.' He thought silently to himself as he closed his eyes. “I understand all that Alexis, but how will you ever know he’s your endless love until you give our love a real chance? You are in love with me Alexis…I feel it and I know it…I see it when you look at me, and when you look away from me, and I feel it every time I touch you and you touch me…your feelings for me made a permanent mark on my soul the night you made love to me. How can you deny that?” “If you want me to say it, fine, I’ll say it…I’m in love with you…but being in love with you doesn’t diminish my love for Ned. He came home the day after you and I made love. I made love to him that day, Sonny, and it felt more right than it has ever felt, and it made me realize that my heart and soul belong to him and nothing will change that. He holds my heart until he no longer wants it. I have to make things work between us…we have come too far together for me to give him up for another love…a love that may not be true love or lasting love, or a love that might not ever compare.” Ned's face became one of shock and anger as he stood there and listened to her confess her love for Sonny. He knew her feelings ran deep for him but it wasn't until that very moment that he knew just how deep. Sonny got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of her making love to another man. “But you will never know, unless…” “Then I’ll never know. You have to forget about me Sonny.” He looked away from her for a brief moment and then turned to her allowing her to see the tears that were falling from his eyes. “That’s like asking me to forget to breathe.” Alexis reached out and wiped the tears from his face. She began to sob, barely able to get her words out. “One…one day I will become a passing memory to you. And you will find a woman who will love you unconditionally, a woman who can give you all of her…her mind, her body, and her soul…and a woman who will make you very very happy.” Alexis got up off the bench and held his hand in hers. “I…I’m so sorry, but that woman isn’t me.” She said as the tears streamed out of her eyes and she turned and ran away. Sonny sat there with his head down inside his hand as he let his emotions surface. Thoughts of Alexis making love to Ned ran through his head. He had wanted to confront her about it…he was angry at her for falling into the arms of another man so soon after she had fallen into his arms, even if it was a man she was desperately in love with. He tried to push those thoughts aside as he realized that Alexis Davis never really belonged to him. “Not even that night.” He whispered to himself. Alexis was running to get away from it when she bumped into someone. She looked up and when she saw him, her emotions took over. Without saying a word, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight knowing that her heart was breaking over another man. “Ned what are you doing here?” She asked as he wiped the tears from her eyes. Ned looked past Alexis and over to Sonny. Sonny got up and looked back at Ashton before turning his back and walking away. He looked back down at her. “I was getting frustrated with a new song I’m writing and decided to talk a walk and clear my head.” She smiled at him. “So what brings you to this neck of the woods?” “I don’t know I guess I just need to get some air as well.” “Would you like to tell me why you’ve been crying?” He asked as they walked over to the swings and she sat down. He grabbed a hold of the chains and lightly moved her as he stood he front of her. Alexis looked him in the eyes and wanted to tell him that she ran into Sonny but she decided against it not wanting to put more distance between them. The only thing Ned asked was that she kept her distance from Sonny and here she was in the middle of the park in the middle of the day telling Sonny that she still had feelings for him. Feelings that she shouldn’t be having and the same damn feelings that have been keeping Ned’ physical contact with her at bay. After a few minutes of Alexis not saying a word, Ned took her hands and brought her to her feet. He placed his arm around her and kissed her lightly on the top of the head. “So counselor, do you have to get back to the office?” Alexis just shook her head no. “Then what do you say about me taking you to lunch?” She smiled at him and he took that as a yes as they walked off. Words weren’t spoken as they began to walk, but there was just something different about Ned and she knew it. Maybe things were about to get better between the two of them; maybe they do still have a chance at the happy life they both dreamed of having, and maybe........just maybe Ned was coming around to forgiving her. She couldn’t help but get this glimmer of hope look in her eyes, which Ned picked up on right away. He just smiled and pulled her closer to him as they continued to walk through the park on what was turning out to be a more prefect day then either one of them ever dreamed it could be.