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Why the Stars will not win the Cup in 2001September 28, 2000- By Phil Austin The Dallas Stars, much to my chagrim, faltered in the Stanley Cup finals last year. Now for many people, this wouldn't matter an incredible amount. But to me, the guy who has made it his purpose to spread hatred for the Dallas Stars wherever I go, and ridicule the problems that they all face, their overtime loss to the New Jersey Devils was heaven. Again, the popular opinion is to predict the Stars to threaten for Lord Stanley's mug. I'm not here so much to criticize another's work, but I do want to dispell some of the facts presented in ESPN.com's defending of the Dallas Stars by George Johnson. (George Johnson writes for a Calgary newspaper, so we'll account the automatic drop in IQ points by 15) (snicker) In the past few years, the Dallas Stars have transitioned well from being a very old team to having a nice mix and balance similar to the New Jersey Devils. To borrow a quote from Mr. Johnson's column: "...in the past two seasons, oldies such as Guy Carbonneau, Brian Skrudland, Doug Lidster, Dave Reid, Benoit Hogue and Craig Ludwig have either retired or been cast off.", important role players have moved on. Carbonneau was the most important of the significant emigrators because of the benefits his age provided the team. Having won 3 Stanley Cups and being the NHL's oldest player carries a lot of weight with the younger players and his unquestionable skill in the faceoff circle will be missed. Benoit Hogue was another player who lifted his game come playoff time. In 1998, with Edmonton threatening to upset the Stars again in their second round series, Benoit took charge of the series with 3 clutch goals in games 3 and 4 to deflate the Oilers. Brian Skrudland and Dave Reid were also players who contributed in the ways that only defensive veterans could. So, if the Stars fortè for winning the Cup 2 years ago was a result of their age and experience, wouldn't the relinquishing of crucial spots from veterans to rookies have a detrimental effect? Anyways, enough of me being serious. I know what all you surfers out there expect when you visit The Pipeline. You want to see dirty, compromising pictures of Tiger Woods and his prize-winning horse. No? Well, maybe some good old fashioned Dallas Stars bashing will do the job. Here's a quick list of why the Stars will not win the Cup: Within 2 hours, the commercial set was on fire, two security guards were dead with broken beer bottles plunged into their chests, and Belfour had offered a Bud Light top executive "a billion dollars" to sleep with him. Belfour is sentenced to death in the State of Texas by abstinence of alcohol. Mark my words, the Dallas Stars are going absolutely nowhere. And if my Edmonton Oilers cannot win the Cup this year, the consolation prize of Dallas not winning it is fine for me! Agree, disagree? Talk about it on the message board. |