WORLD CUP FEVER - June 12

Group D

Paraguay

Bulgaria

Group C

	Saudi Arabia		Denmark
	France		South Africa

It was only a matter of time. a) A dull 0-0 draw and b) I missed a game. While Paraguay and Bulgaria were huffing and puffing their way towards stalemate in Montpellier, I was trying to keep awake in a meeting in the office. To tell the truth, I was never fully committed to this game, even with the enticing antics of Jose Luis Chilavert, but I thought I might sneak out for the second half. Saw a few snatches on Paul's hand-held television with a screen so mini that you couldn't read the score in the top left corner...

Nankov was sentov, which is almost cause for a weak pun in a 1986 Barry Davies kinda style.

During this dumb meeting, I told my boss that I wouldn't be in on Monday (booked off in advance, can't accuse me of malingering or using the impending tube strike as an excuse). He suggested a half-day but I held fast, and he showed me the cover of the Sun, Chris Evans in one of those plastic Sun hats with the English flag, imploring bosses to allow their employees the day off on Monday. 'Have it off for England.' Wouldn't you love to work on this paper, he said. No, it would be utterly unbearable, I replied. Because I like to think I have retained some semblance of self-respect and haven't descended to the level of a common streetwalker! And then I returned to some incomprehensible article about building a garden shed. In German.

But what do you care about that? Only marginally less than I do.

So, a goalless draw. And then to the Crown and Two Chairmen, Dean Street, to see Denmark against Saudi Arabia. The boorish Danish barman insisted that when I asked for a Budweiser it meant the American variety rather than the Czech, and I should ask for a Budvar (check the label mate), and the presence of Schmeichel in goal ensured I was on the side of the Saudis (despicable treatment of British nurses and various other offences against human rights notwithstanding etc... ) But after Celtic's Marc Rieper headed what would be the only goal, I just wanted it to be over, such a tepid display had surely not been witnessed since... three hours previously.

Now, today sees the first of four consecutive three-game World Cup days and it will be test of stamina. The Crown and Two Chairmen didn't seem to want anyone hanging around upstairs for the third game, so I thought 'sod you then, you've had your chance as a World Cup venue' and cleared off.

France v South Africa was played on a windy night in Marseille. Manu Petit started and picked up a yellow card, but I thought he put in a solid display, always in position to receive the ball, solid in the tackle and unleashed one powerful shot. Also impressed by left-back Lizarazu. France took the lead through the brash Dugarry, who celebrated like the old Paul Merson, but it was pretty even for the first hour or 70 minutes. But it's the last quarter when the fitter, more experienced teams gain the advantage, and the French were helped to a 3-0 win thanks in no small part to the clumsy efforts of the unnecessarily tall Pierre Issa, who should have been credited with two own goals. And the poor bloke plays for Marseille.

Results: Paraguay (0) 0 Bulgaria (0) 0 Saudi Arabia (0) 0 Denmark (0) 1 Rieper 68 France (1) 3 South Africa (0) 0 Dugarry 35 Issa 78 og Henry 90 Shots off target: A knighthood for Geoff Hurst. Well done sir. And an OBE for John Peel. Hurrah! Even though such awards are outdated, meaningless baubles tainted by centuries of monarchy and oppression, probably.

The London Chamber of Commerce whingeing about the prospect of absenteeism soaring and millions of pounds lost to businesses on Monday when people ring in sick or make excuses about the tube strike.

Yellow Card: Chris Evans, shameless self-publicist and bandwagon 'footy' fan. So-called Nobby met him once and won't hear a word against him, but since he's given up on this diary - in a sort of Chris Sutton-esque can't be bothered style - I can say what I like. Ha ha! So bog off Chris Evans!

(Not strictly the World Cup but I've got a lot of them) Football Quote of the Day:
'It was one of the best goals I've seen this millennium.' Tony Gubba