Metallica Sues Canadian Band Unfaith Over Chords E, F | Metallica Takes on Napster | More Lars whining
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Dear Metallica, As a fan of your music, I'd just like to say that you are making it harder and harder to be a fan of your music. I remember the first time I heard For Whom the Bell Tolls and I knew then, right at that moment that you guys were rock gods. And then that summer of '89 when MTV was still actually playing videos and I got to see the "One" video every day for two months I still loved it. I even quote the video's intro from time to time. It's a reference that only my friend Laura ever picks up on, but still I love quoting it and if the video came on today I'd watch it, all the way through. And then, in 1991, when you gods of rock busted through the mainstream scene with The Black Album I would have gladly have had a child by each of you. Yes, even you Lars, even though you and Kirk are totally gay. Apparently something happened after The Black Album, no one knows for you won't say, but I think it had something to do with money and anal sex. You gods of rock changed and you became lesser gods of rock, demigods if you will. Look, you've done the "symphony" album. It's time for you to take your ball and go home. And covering "Turn the Page"? The quintessential whiny oh-poor-me-i'm-a-rockstar song? Fag much? And now you have become pimps for your own music that does not rock anymore. Not only have you crapped on the hearts of your fans but you've managed to look like total schmucks to everyone else. Nice one, hockeyfags. If i were rockgod-hasbeens like you I wouldn't worry too much about the sales of my music seeing as how everyone who used to like you already owns your albums, and you'll never make new fans because the chunder you've put out in the last 12 years has sucked so much d*** that even your true fans have started to notice how gay Kirk Hammet looked for the last 19 years. Oh, I'm sorry Lars, did I offend your girlfriend? I'm sure you'll back him up. Oh yeah, I'm sure you "backed him up" last night, too. And James, isn't it about time for your liver to give out? Your fan,
P.S. I can't say anything bad about you Jason, you're a hottie! But you should really get some new friends, friends that rock! |