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VIDEO VIOLINS

 

WHY THE BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE IS PROBABLY A BIG OL’ QUEEN

by

Tim Murphy

I adore the three-seasons-running (renewed for a fourth) children’s program Bear In The Big Blue House (it’s got a big ursine boy in it – how could I not!?); however, I am concerned that Disney (who have had their share of evil queens in the past (Scar, Cruella, Rattigan, etc.), so it is ironic they are not promoting one of their good queens) and Henson (who have given us that quintessential drag diva, Miss Piggy, and couple Bert and Ernie) are not making public statements about the big fella’s being nellie; therefore, I have taken it upon myself (I’m sure he would not disapprove – he’s a good ol’ Bear…).

  1. He hangs out with a cub and two otters (these are gay Bear sub-culture terms – and the otters are purple, which is, Jerry Falwell informs us, a gay colour (one wonders why he has never gone after Barney for this, though I seem to recall he criticized that the dinosaur loved everybody – promiscuity? bisexuality? indiscriminate support? Who knows?) . Now, it is true that the cub is female – but that’s obvious coding (besides, the bottom must be feminine, as anyone knows).

  2. He lives alone, except for his niece Ojo (the aforementioned coded Cub), in a huge, slightly run-down house in the country, which screams rural queen. After all, his lack of children means he has the money to afford a palatial place. Now, many fags hang out in urban centres in scuzzy bars and tacky ghettoes, but it is not universally true. What better way to spread the message that we are everywhere than to invade the territory of conservatism and family values (besides, as someone who has lived in a small town, I assure you that there is often MORE tolerance for that unmarried man or the nice librarian couple, especially if they’ve always been there and live quiet lives…)?

  3. The woofster is more camp than a row of tents. Bursting into song at the drop of a hat – with a stylish dance that he throws his whole body into – willing to play dress-up and question traditional gender roles (and, furthermore, indoctrinating his young charges with the message that it’s okay to be sensitive and caring as a boy, and to build treehouses and forts and model cars as a girl) – and prone to rolling his eyes and making fey remarks like: ‘Little napkin teepees – how EXCITING!’

  4. While he has (once) made a reference to someday having grandchildren, we are not convinced. The only female in his age group we have seen affiliated with Bear is in Spain (there’s Luna, the moon – but she’s older and further away), and looks like him in drag (we never have seen her in the same room as him…hmmm…).

  5. He has been known to order language tapes ‘just for bears’ and drink from cups ‘just for bears’, while encouraging his audience to think of themselves as ‘honorary bears’ and do the ‘bear cha cha cha’ (if we want to be slightly disturbing, he has encouraged his audience to come back and play when they’re ready, and said it just before he went to bed – if that’s not recruiting, I can’t think WHAT is…). Hmmm – segregation – marketing – recruiting – all together…how clever…clearly, this bear wants to come out and play…such a shame they won’t let him! L