With The Commentary of the RABAM
Pinchass = Dark skinned. Eighth parshas in Bamidbar (Numbers). Psookim (verses) 25:10 through 30:1.
This week's Parsha, Parshas Pinchass, is named after me. After all, Moishe Rabbeinu certainly had Ruach Hakoidesh and could easily foresee the day, 3500 years in the future, that a full bearded white man wearing a long black coat and big, black felt hat would use electronic pulses to share deep insights on the words of the Reboinoisheloilum with people like you – minuvals who need an occasional five minute break from surfing porn. Isn't it obvious? No wonder Moishe Rabbeinu was always so optimistic about the future of Klal Yisroel!
Ruach HaKodesh = The holy spirit, but actually meaning inspiration or stimulation from the divine, being moved by the Aimishteh.
Big Black Felt Hat = Zesty! But have you considered a streimel?
Klal Yisroel = A limited liability company (LLC) – every Jew is a full partner.
Ironically, this week's Parsha also opens with the celebration of Pinchass Ben Elazar -- the grandson of Aron Hakoihain, the minuval -- who at the end of last week's episode emulated the rich, warm, personal connection of the Aimishteh and Klal Yisroel by slaughtering an Israelite man and his Midianite girlfriend with a spear, initiating a plague in which 24,000 people died.
Pinchass was an honourable man (as were they all honourable men). But according to Rashi, Pinchass was ambitious. As proof he cites Pinchas’ nomination to the board.
Slaughtering an Israelite man and his Midianite girlfriend = Juicy! One of the most exiting scenes in this book! I have to share it with you!
Bamidbar (Numbers) 25:6 "Ve hine ish mibnei Yisrael ba vayakrev el echav et ha Midyanit, le einei Moshe u le einei kol adat bnei Yisrael, vehema vochim petach ohel moed" (And look, one of the children of Israel brought to his brothers a Midianite woman, in the eyes of Moses and of all the congregation of the Bnei Israel, while they were weeping at the entrance of the tent of meeting),
25:7 "va yar Pinchas Ben Elazar, ben Aharon ha kohen, vayakam, mitoch haeda, va yikach romach beyado" (and when Pinchas the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose up from the congregation, and took a spear in his hand),
25:8 "va yavo achar ish Yisrael el ha kuba, va yidkor et sheneihem, et ish Yisrael ve et ha isha el kovata…" (and he went after the man of Israel into the chamber, and speared both of them, the man of Israel, the woman through her gut…).
Gosh. I feel warm all over.
Reb Hai Goyn asks the question: Who were these 24,000 people? Was inter-dating such a widespread activity for the holy Dor Mattan Toirah? What's pshat?
Reb Hai Gaon = Last of the Geonim (‘the greats’, ‘the geniuses’). These were the scholars who followed the Talmudic era, and transmitted their knowledge and tradition to the Rishonim (the European mediaeval scholars, such as Rashi, Rambam, and others).
Dor matan Toireh = The generation (dor) that was zoche to receive (matan) the Toireh.
What’s pshat? = What is the einfache explanation? What does this mean?
According to Rabbeinu Tam, the 24,000 included not only people who dated Midianite women, but also various cross-dressers, insurance salesmen, fundraisers, lawyers, and telemarketers.
Rabbeinu Tam = Our righteous rabbi; appellation of Rabbi Yakov Ben Meier, grandson of Rashi (1100 - 1171), one of the greatest of exegetes. Yakov Avinu was also ‘tam’ (righteous; gashmak).
There were two disputes which Rabbeinu Tam initiated - one over mezuzot, the other over tefillin. Both were clever marketing moves aimed at increasing sales of his own collection of designer mezuzot and tfillin. Many chassidim favour Rabbeinu Tam tfillin as the ultimate in snazz! You really should consider buying a pair.
On a related note, Rabbeinu Tam defined Shaatnez as including cloth spun and woven separately, then sewn together, whereas his grandfather (Rashi, 1040 – 1105) opined that it is shaatnez only if the wool and linen are spun and woven together, his argument being that the prohibition against shaatnez is specifically against garments of mixed materials.
Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam lived in France; hence their neurotic interest in clothes.
But the point they disputed has to do with the prohibition against kilayim (the mingling of things which it is inappropriate to mingle). It says in Parshas Shoftim (Judges) in Vayikra (Leviticus) 19:19 "Et chukotai tishmoru behemteicha; lo tarbiya kilayim sadcha, lo tizra kilayim u veged kilayim shaatnez lo ya'ale aleicha" (My statutes you shall guard; do not let your cattle mix-breed, do not sow your field with mixed seeds, and do not wear a garment of mingled cloth.).
Hence there are four categories of things which should not be mingled: plowing by cattle and asses in the same furrow, grapes and other crops in the same arbor, wool and linen in the same garment, and Jews and Midianites in the same world. According to the Mishneh Toireh, these prohibitions promote peace.
Cross-dressers = British politicians; the Tevlei Anglia. Shachavus is not necessarily implied – merely a broad-minded appreciation for colours, textures and perfumes (and have you taken a GOOD look at Aaron Hakohain’s oyfgeyitte get up?).
Insurance salesmen and telemarketers = Individuals who lack both sense and courtesy – arrogance should be built of sterner stuff. Not surprising that they sinned in Parshas Balak; it was a grievous fault, and grievously have they answered it!
But the Mordechai disagrees. He holds that none of the group who died in the plague were dating Midianite women. Rather, all were all members of Klal Yisroel who were also Amway representatives.
The Mordechai = Mordechai Ben Hillel, a Halacha scholar and posseik who lived in Ashkenaz toward the end of the thirteenth century. He and his entire family were slaughtered during the Rindfleish massacres in 1298.
Rindfleish massacres = A German nobleman surnamed Rindfleish (cattle flesh; beef) spread the rumour that Jews had desecrated a piece of bread. Over one hundred and forty Jewish communities were subsequently exterminated. As a result, many Jews left Germany for Spain (Sfarad), France (Sarfat), or points east, and the Chassidei Ashkenaz as a tendency ceased to exist.
Chassidei Ashkenaz = The Pietist movement in Germany. One of the early founders was Rav Yehudah Ha Chasid (1150 - 1217), author of the Sefer Chasidim. It’s adherents stressed a sense of sanctity and self-control in life, a striving for the divine.
Though the movement, due to the intemperate behaviour of local gentiles, came to an end by the fourteenth century, its influence was felt long after, and is still felt.
Rabbi Moishe Ben Nachman (Nachmanides, 1194 - 1270) was a student of one of the other luminaries, Rabbi Eleazar Rokeach (1165 - 1238), author of a guide to Halacha known as the Sefer Rokeach (the Book of Rokeach).
Midianite Women = Is it hot in here?
Yet the question about the centrality of Midianite women to this Parsha does fall away that easily. A Gemarrah in Chulin asks the question: Why was Moishe Rabbeinu immune to the plague targeted at all members of Klal Yisroel involved with Midianite women? Indeed, Moishe's wife was the daughter of a Midianite priest!
www.oocities.org/NPOJ8/Parshas_Yisro.html
Chulin = Profane things; Meseches (tractate) Chulin is the Talmud section that deals with dining habits, kashrus. Third tractate in the order Kodashim (sacred things; the fifth order). It is so named because of the distinction between sanctified usage and profane usage.
Yisro = Parshas Yisro (abundance), fifth parsha in Shmos (Exodus), psookim 18:1-20:23.
Midianite Priest = In Sefer Shmos, Parshas Shmos, psook 2:17 Moishe helps the daughters of Reuel (described as ‘kohen Midyan sheva banot – a Midianite priest with seven bints) water their flock. Shortly after, Reuel give his daughter Tzipporah to Moishe to wed.
But there is confusion over the term Reuel – is this really the name of Moishe’s father in law?
In Parshas Yisro, we are told something different: psook 18:12 “"va yikach Yitro choten moishe ola u zevachim l'Elokim va yavo A'aron, ve chol zikenei Yisrael, le echol lechem im choten Moishe lifnei ha Elokim" (And then Yisro, Moses' mechuten, took a burnt-offering and sacrifices to Elokim, and Aaron came, and all the elders of Israel, to eat bread with Moses' mechuten before Elokim.).
Rav Huna avers that the Redactor was shikker when he combined the E texts and P texts of Moishe’s official biography. An early start on the cocktail hour is half the job done.
Rav Ashi points out that we learn from this the halacha that while interdating is banned, intermarriage is acceptable, as long as the marriage represents a step up in social class. He goes on to point out that Midian was considered to be the creme de la creme of Late Bronze Age Near Eastern society. According to Rav Moishe Feinstein, in our age this ruling would apply to Episcopalians, Lutherans, and wealthy Republicans.
Rav Ashi = An Amora (d. 427) who was head of the academy of Sura in Babylon for sixty years; along with his colleague Ravina a redactor of the Babylonian Talmud – together they are referred to as ha sof hora’ah (the end of instruction). But this is not strictly correct, as several generations that followed Rav Ashi are represented in the Talmud, and Rav Sherira Gaon applies the term sof hora’ah to Rav Yose and his associate Ravina instead. There is a generous plurality of Ravina.
Amora, pl. Amoraim = A class of scholars in the Holy Land and Babylon who collectively created the Talmud, which is Gemara (commentary, derived from a Western Aramaic word meaning study, learning) based on the Mishnah (restatement; elucidations of legal issues). The Hebrew word ‘amar’, from which the term ‘amora’ derives, means to speak, say, interpret, and may be cognate with Arabic ‘amr’ meaning to order or command, in the sense of speaking with authority.
The period in which the Amoraim worked is generally considered to be the third and fourth century in Tiberias and Caesarea, and the third through fifth century in Babylon. They were the successors to the Tannaim (from Aramaic ‘tenna’ = to teach), whose era is said to have been six generations of scholars, from 10 C.E. to 220 C.E.
Rav Moishe Feinstein = A modern era posseik, deceased. Zichrono livracha.
Episcopalians = Church of England; a split-off (1534) from the Roman Catholics caused by king Henry the eighth (1491 – 15947) needing a divorce. King Henry was a gambler, lush, ladies man, and excommunicated in 1535. As the college song says: “He was dirty and lousy and full of fleas, he had his women by twos and threes, G-d bless the bastard king of Eng-GUH-land!”
It is also alleged that he was syphilitic.
Lutherans = The first formal Protestant grouping which was not exterminated by Rome, unlike, for instance, the Cathars (Albigensians). Martin Luther (1483 – 1546), an Augustinian monk after whom the sect is named, nailed a screed to a church-door (October 31st. 1517), got excommunicated (cherem, Christtian style, January 3rd. 1521), and became one more notable member in a long line of farbissene Taytshe anti-semitn. A rich full life. Pope Leo the tenth (1475 – 1521; the 217th occupant of the throne of Peter) characterized him as “a drunken Teuton who writes objectionable tracts; when he’s sober, he’ll change his mind”.
In a book Luther published three years before his death, he recommended that Jewish synagogues, schools, and homes be destroyed, Jewish writings be seized, Jewish teachings be outlawed, and Jews be forced to become farmers or be expelled. Charming.
This is how the reformation started? I’m so impressed. Nasty.
Wealthy Republicans = The natural enemy of poor Democrats.
But Rish Lakish holds farkhert. He holds that interdating is not only acceptable, it is encouraged. And it is intermarriage that is not permitted, even when the woman converts. However, Rish Lakish notes, chazzal tell us that Mrs. Moishe was exempt from this restriction since even after her conversion she maintained several of her…err…goyisha practices, in particular one that I cannot get my bashert to do no matter how much I beg.
Rish Lakish = A close friend and chavrusa of Yochanan Ben Zakai, after whom a national park in Eretz Yisroel is named. Yochanan treasured him because he challenged everything that Yochanan said, forcing him to ‘put up or shut up’. Rish Lakish had been a highway man – either the character of Yochanan or the persuasive practices maybe of Yochanan’s sister kein lashoin horo made him mend his ways. He thereafter devoted his mind to Talmud study with the same tumultuous zeal he had previously used for robbery.
There is a medrish, however, which tells us that the plague did not really kill 24,000. Rather, only 4,000 people died. However, the Toirah improperly counted an extra 20,000 people who were projected to die during the remainder of the year. This, however, resulted in an accounting scandal and a significant decline in Market Value for which Moishe Rabbeinu was held responsible. And, according to this medrish, the real reason that Moishe was not able to enter the Promised Land was that as a result of this episode, he had to spend 25 years in a minimum security penitentiary for white collar crimes and pay $2 million shekels in fines and back taxes. Shoyn.
Medrish = A tale or a factual account, the purpose of which is to clarify a point or illustrate a concept. There are many of these. See below.
An accounting scandal for which Moishe Rabbeinu was held responsible = Having to do with the sale to the state of Mitzrayim of energy at inflated prices during peak hours, coupled with false and misleading statements about Burning Bush Enterprises’ financial performance. These false statements caused BBE stock to trade as high as $18.00. Defendants sold BBE stock to more than 600,000 investors, for insider trading proceeds of approximately $6.13 million.
As a result of a restatement of BBE’s financial results, an attempted acquisition by Eigel Ha Zahav LLC fell through, and the stock price dropped 91%. Within forty days BBE’s debt was downgraded to junk bond status and its stock dropped to just pennies per share.
In a surprise development, BBE engineered a hostile take-over of Eigel shortly afterwards. Many shareholders were wiped out in the ensuing re-organizations (as detailed in the second aliyah of Ki Sisa, and the account of the fire-pan incident in Koirach).
The M'EERIE asks a question on a different part of this Parsha: Why is the story of Pinchas juxtaposed with a listing of the clans of the tribes of Israel, followed by a discussion of property and inheritance rights highlighted in the story of the Bnois Tzeluphchud. In this story, the daughters of Tzeluphchud request the right to inherit their father's property, given that he had no sons to receive the inheritance. After consulting with the Aimishteh and several leading estate lawyers, Moishe Rabbeinu accepts their argument. So, what does one story have to do with another?
The Meiri = Rav Menachem Ben Shlomo Ha Meiri (1249 – 1316), a Provençal Talmudic scholar born in Perpignan in the south of France. He corresponded with Shlomo Ben Avraham Aderet (the Rashba, 1235 – 1311, author of a great body of teshuva) in Spain, whose position in the Maimonidean controversy he opposed (the Meiri was a proponent of an open-minded approach, stressing the advantages of learning the sciences). He is most known for summarizing the Talmud paragraph by paragraph, and cataloguing the chain of transmission up to his own times.
Maimonidean Controversy = A battle royal in several acts among the Jewish communities of Europe, based primarily on writings by Rabbi Moishe Ben Maimon (the Rambam, 1135 – 1204): the act first being a conflict of world-views between an enclosed northern European Jewishness and an open, more modernistic Mediterranean oriented intellectual oilam; then objections to logical and philosophical methods of systemizing Talmudic laws, coupled with objections to Maimonides not citing the sources for his opinions and not engaging in the usual format of pursuing all angles of an issue to their conclusion; objections by Meir Abulafia (1190 – 1244) to Maimonides not including physical resurrection in his philosophy; and finally foaming at the mouth screaming fury at Maimonides attempt to reconcile Torah with Greek methodology, which gave pretty much all of the Northern European rabbeyim apoplexy.
The two books which caused the ruckus are The Guide For The Perplexed (a how-to book; look under self help) and the Mishneh Torah (Second fiddle to the Torah). Matter weren’t helped by rabbi Moishe sneeringly referring to a colleague as “one who, since childhood, has been told by every one that he is unique!”
The upshot was that several communities excommunicated either the Rambam or his works, whereupon his supporters promptly excommunicated the rabbis who had banned the Rambam.
For several years vitriol flowed from many quills in various languages, and at some point the Rambam’s grave in Tiberias was desecrated, which appalled even his enemies (well, some of them).
Then in 1232 the Dominicans (a monkish brood) pissed-off everybody by seizing all copies of The Guide For The Perplexed that they could lay their hands on and burning them.
Ten years later (1242) the French civil authorities upped the ante, as their contribution to civilized discourse, by burning twenty four cartloads of Jewish books (in an age when all books were copied by hand!) on the same spot where The Guide For The Perplexed had been immolated by the monks.
For a while everybody laid low, and it seemed the row was over. But at the end of the thirteenth century it flared up again, with the main focus of argument now being opposition to scientific study by the Northern Europeans, who considered the southern rationalists to be heretics and despoilers of Talmud-Torah. Bekitsur, Torah as revelation versus Torah as philosophical metaphor.
Shlomo Ben Avraham Aderet (the Rashba, 1235 – 1311), and Asher ben Yechiel (the Rosh, 1250 – 1328, whose transcendent commentary is found in many copies of the Bavli, a student of Rabbi Meir of Rothenburg (the Maharam, 1215 – 1293), and father of the Tur) eventually worked out a compromise for all sides, which boiled down to a ban on anyone under the age of twenty-five studying secular science (in which the Northerners included The Guide For The Perplexed) and metaphysics - medicine and Jewish philosophy were, however, permitted.
‘Question on this parsha / daughters of Tzeluphchud’ = This Parsha is an utter mess.
It begins with a pat on the back for Pinchass, segues into a call to smite Midian (psook 25:17 “Tsaror et ha Midyanim, ve hikitem otam” – Chivvy the Midianites, and whack ‘em!), and continues with a long employee list apropos of nothing at all.
Out of the blue, a bunch of (evidently) unmarried women (the daughters of Tselafchad the son of Heifer, son of Gilead, son of Machir, the son of Manasseh (‘Manny’) who was the son of Yoisef) start demanding that they too should inherit. The Aimishteh sides with these shrews, and takes Moishe aside to tell him that he’s not gonna reach the promised land (‘cause he ‘zinned’).
Immediately following which, scarce pausing for breath, the Aimishteh tells Moishe what to have for breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. And for a midnight snack. Meat. Lots of meat, well-done. Plus cakes. What is this, a hot-dog eating contest?
The parsha finishes with Moishe giving instructions to the cooks.
“So, what does one story have to do with another?” = Nothing. Did I mention that the Redactor was shikker?
The Bais Yoiseph suggests that the Toirah put the stories together to teach us that if a parent dies and you argue over the inheritance with your siblings, you are allowed to drive a spear through their stomachs, as Pinchass did.
The Bais Yoiseph = Beis Yosef; a book by Rabbi Yosef Karo (1488 – 1575), which is a commentary on the Arba Turim (The Four Rows; a bawuste compendium of Halacha by Rabbeinu Yakov Ben Asher, 1275 – 1349, son of the Rosh), based on a variety of Halachic opinions, primarily drawing from Rabbi Yitzhak Alfassi (the Rif), Rabbeinu Asher (the Rosh) and Rabbi Moishe Ben Maimon (the Rambam).
Spear through the stomach = Refer to psook 25:8 quoted at the beginning. Dwell on it.
But the Nair Havdalah (born 1938; died 1969 at Woodstock of a heroin
overdose) suggests that farkhert, the reason that Klal Yisroel, still in the desert at this point, were even focused on property and inheritance, even before entering Eretz Yisroel, is that they were beginning to process their mortgage applications. And the story of Pinchass tells us that whenever you prepare to purchase real estate, you should always show up to the closing prepared for the worst.
Nair Havdalah = Wow, such braids! But that was the custom back then.
Heroin overdose = Too much bsomim, or too concentrated a dose . Not uncommon if one has unreliable suppliers or a shipment of pure cinnamon crosses the border. Shouldn’t do drugs. Damn’ hippie!
I, the RAPAS (Rav Pinky Schmeckelstein), would like to suggest an alternative explanation for the episodes being presented together.
If we contemplate the logical result of the petition of the Bnois Tzeluphchud -- these young Bas Yisroels, Bais Yaakov girls I imagine, were instantly considered desirable. Even if they had one eye and seven arms between them, they were women who owned property, and that made them nice catches. This Parsha comes to teach us that this applies to Midianite women as well: A Midianite woman who eats pork, worships idols and is regularly mezaneh with farm animals is also desirable, as long as she owns property.
Mezaneh = Engaged in what the French call ‘vleselyke gemeenschap’. Or they would, if we could understand them.
So if you are going to marry out, at least marry rich.
Ah Gutten Shabbos, you minuval
