With The Commentary of the RABAM
Seifer Beraishis (Genesis), psookim 18:1 - 22:24
Va yera = And He appeared.
Va yera elav Adonai be elonei Mamre, ve hu yoshev petach ha ohel ke chom ha yom (And there appeared the Lord to him by the Terebinths of Mamre, as he sat ‘neath the opening of his tent in the heat of the day).
Terebinth = A short tree which yields turpentine, related distantly to the Pistacchio.
This weeks Parsha, Parshas VaYayrah, features many critical fables, er..., I mean true stories that lie at the heart of Yiddishkeit. The Parsha includes:
- The birth of Yitzchak. The angels come down to visit Avraham bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Oops -- wrong story. The angels come to Avraham and tell him that a child will be born to him and his barren wife, Sarah Imaynu (our matriarch). Upon hearing the news, Sarah chuckles disbelievingly at the Aimishteh's promise to enable her to conceive.
The angels = Three mysterious guests, with goodly appetites, who do not keep kosher.
Sarah chuckles = As it says in Seifer Bereishis (Genesis) psook 18:12 “vatitschak Sarah be kirba lemor acharei veloti haita-li edna vadoni zaken” (And Sarah laughed within herself, saying 'After I am become aged, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?')
Psook 18:13 “vayomer Adonai el-Avraham lama ze tsachaka Sarah lemor ha-af umnam eled va-ani zakanti” (And the Lord said to Abraham: 'Why did Sarah laugh, saying ‘Shall I of a certainty bear a child, who am old?)
Psook 18:14 “hayipale me Adonai davar lamoed ashuv eleicha kaet chaya u le Sarah ven” (Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the apportioned time I will return to you, when the season has come, and Sarah shall have a son')
Psook 18:15 “va techachesh Sarah lemor lo tsachakti ki yarea vayomer lo ki tsachakte” (Then Sarah denied, saying 'I laughed not', for she was scared And He said “Nay; but thou didst laugh”).
An obvious question arises: why didn't the Reboinoisheloilum simply kill Sarah due to her disrespect? According to a famous medrish, Hakkadoshboruchhu had indeed decided to kill her, referring to her in an internal Heavenly memorandum as an "ungrateful wench".
Why didn’t…kill Sarah…due to… = Because he would then also have to whack Avraham, who was also at one point convinved of the absurdity, as is written in psook 17:17 “vayipol Avraham al-panav vaYitzhak vayomer belibo haleven mea-shana yivaled veim Sarah havat-tishim shana teled” (Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart 'Shall a child be born to one who is a hundred years old? and shall Sarah, who is ninety years, be pregnant?')
However, Sarah took out a "personal insurance policy" while living in the palace of the Pharoah -- or was it Avimelech (I always get confused between those two identical stories) -- playing "hide the kishka" with the Pharoah while Avraham pretended to be her brother.
She made photocopies of critical incriminating evidence relating to Avraham, the Aimishteh, a missing $500,000 in cash, and several off- balance sheet liabilities, and left specific instructions to send the documents to the Canaanite Gazette should anything happen to her. Hey, she may have been barren, but she sure wasn't stupid.
In the palace of the Pharoah -- or was it Avimelech = Psook 20:2 “vayomer Avraham el-Sarah ishto achoti hiv vayishlach Avimelech melech gerar vayikach et Sarah” (And Abraham said of Sarah his wife 'She is my sister' And Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah).
But there is more than a suspicion of blackmail here, because does not Avimelech pay off Avraham? As it says in psook 20:14 “vayikach Avimelech tson u vakar va avadim u shefachot va yiten le Avraham va yashev lo et Sarah ishto” (And Abimelech took sheep and cows, and men-servants and women-servants, and gave them unto Abraham, and Sarah his wife).
- The exile of Yishmael. Sarah, who sounds more and more like my mother-in-law throughout this entire Parsha, decides that now that Yitzchak is born, there is no reason to have Yishmael hanging around smoking the family water pipe ("bong" in Yiddish). So she orders Yishmael and his mother Hagar (the Horrible) to be cast into the desert.
The exile of Yishmoel = Like any good wife, Sarah gets even for the second wife’s good fortune by punishing her son. And conveniently, this also gets rid of the child who otherwise would’ve had a valid claim to two portions as the firstborn.
As it says in psook 21:9 - 10 “vatere Sarah et ben-Hagar ha mitsrit asher-yalda le Avraham metsachek” (And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, whom she had borne to Abraham, playing); “va tomer le Avraham garesh ha ama hazot ve’et bena ki lo yirash ben-ha’ama hazot im beni im Yitzhak” (so she said to Abraham 'Throw out this slave and her son, so that the son of this slave shall not be an heir along with my son, with Isaac')
We are not descended from the firstborn, but the Arabs are. At least, if you disregard the very reliable reports that in fact the Arabs are the descendents of the Khazars, who were invited into greater Syria by the Ottomans to restore the tax base after several wars between Turks, Persians, and Egyptians had devastated the middle East and depopulated the Holy Land.
But some scholars say that the people currently known as Bnei Yishmoel are actually a tribe of lost Germans, who converted to Islam as a means of keeping both the Jews and the Fundamentalist Christians at arms length.
Now note that, while we make much of the out-casting of Yishmoel, we hardly ever mention that like a good son, he returned to mourn over his father, and help bury him. We would rather not be reminded that concubinage (pilegshus) is an exploitative relationship, and besides, Hagar was ‘MARRIED’ to Avraham, Yishmoel was made to pay for the rivalry between Sarah and Hagar, and was in consequence denied his inheritance.
Oops.
But fear not, good people, for where Sarah was vindictive, Hashem is merciful, saying to Avraham “vegam et ben-haama legoi asimenu ki zaracha hu” (And also the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is your seed).
More remarkably, “vayehi Elohim et ha na’ar va yigdal va yeshev bamidbar va yehi rove kashat” (And God was with the young fellow, and he grew and he lived in the desert and became a bowman).
Now note well the pattern of what has here been described – The oldest son sets off on his own, while the younger son stays home and plays to his elderly parents weaknesses, ending up with control over the stock-portfolio and the bank accounts. Does this sound familiar? Yakov and Esav, Yoisef and his brothers?
Much in subsequent events is explained by this object lesson.
Little did she realize, Yishmael was destined to be Father of the Arab Peoples. Those guys LOVE the desert! I know -- I saw Lawrence of Arabia. I once even had ice cream in a Bedouin tent in Beer Sheva, where a Bedouin Chief offered me two goats and a chicken for my eldest daughter, Bracha Levatala. He would have had a deal if he had only agreed to include his lucky pen.
Lawrence of Arabia = A very English gentleman who assisted the Arabs in throwing off the Ottoman yoke during World War One, when the Turks had sided with the Germans. The Arabs, led by Sharif Hussein, were successful, and promptly showed remarkable talents for administration and politics – so much so that the Middle East has been an example for the world ever since.
Well, in any case, better than Europe until about the 1950s. Though that isn’t saying much.
Beer Sheva = The seven wells, where Avraham planted a Tamarisk tree, and called there on the name of the Lord the everlasting G-d (va yikra sham be shem Adonai el olam).
Well, as a result of Sarah exiling Yishmael, the Arabs have had it in for the Jews ever since. This hostility has resulted in wars, terrorism, and high oil prices. Gee, thanks Sarah! Life wasn't complicated enough.
Life wasn’t complicated enough = Male concerns: beer, breasts, pizza. Female concerns: furniture, college tuition for the little brats, new car not that old station wagon my sister keeps talking about hers, fluffy sweaters, kittens, anniversaries, do I look fat, hips, lips, and go sleep on the couch. It’s a blessing.
- The destruction of Sodom. Once again, the Aimishteh showed his mercy and lovingkindness by completely obliterating a population. To Avraham's credit, he tries to haggle for the life of the city. "If there are 50 righteous men...40...30...20...10." The RASHBA asks: why did the Aimishteh let Avraham go on haggling for twenty minutes if He knew the outcome was not about to change? According to the RITVA, this proves that haggling over price is a Mitzvah Dioraisa, a Biblical commandment, even if this means haggling over a Ben and Jerry's ice cream bar at a tourist stop in Nevada in August (trust me, this is a maisah shehoya). And Hokkodoshborochhu is undoubtedly proud of the fact that this is one mitzvah in which Klal Yisroel excels.
Sodom = A town which, fittingly, was in the British Mandate territory of Palestine.
Voss ein gontse tserdraite maise. Psook 18:23 “va yigash Avraham vayomar haaf tispe tsadik im rasha” (And Abraham drew near, and said, ‘Are you really gonna whack the righteous with the wicked?). Yadda yada yada, and in each case the Aibishter chickens, until at last in psook 18:32 “ vayomer lo ashchit baavur ha asara”(And He said: 'I will not destroy it for the ten's sake')
Psook 18:33 “va yelech Adonai ka asher kila le daber el-Avraham, ve Avraham shav limkomo” (And the LORD went away as soon as He had left off speaking to Abraham; and Abraham returned to his own place).
Goyishe kopf! Shoulda kept an eye on the Aimishteh, because as soon as Avraham was no longer paying attention, what does he do? He whacks the place. All that fancy negotiating didn’t make a difference, gevalt, a real bracha le vatulla! Dacht zich emmes, der Eibichte soll anhern?
Bracha le vatulla = A blessing which is wasted, a brocho which is made battle (null, void). Hence a complete and utter waste of time, such as voting in Florida if you’re a democrat. Which is a complete bittul zman.
Rashba = Rabbeinu Shlomo Ben Avraham Aderet (1235 – 1310 or 1311). A student of Rabbeinu Yonah and of the Ramban, a banker, a posseik (whose responsa are collected in Minchas Kenaos), and author of Shaarei Teshuva (the gates of repentance), Chiddushei Ha Rashba (Innovativa of the Rashba), Toras Ha Beyis (Household Rules – a book predominantly on Kashrus), and Shaar Ha Mayim (the Gate of Waters – a howto on the Mikvah).
Ritva = Rav Yomtof Ibn Assevili (approximately between 1350 and 1450 CE), a disciple of the Ra'ah (Rav Aharon Ha Levi, b. 1235, a Talmud commentator), head of the academy in Seville, a major posseik, and important commentator on the Talmud. He is sharp, subtle.
Mitzva D’oraisa = A commandment straight from the Toireh, as opposed to a Mitzva D’rabbanan, that being a Rabbinically derived commandment based on the logic in the Toireh and the oral law.
- The Akaidah -- the binding of Yitzchak. The Reboinoisheloilum commands Avraham to bring his beloved son to be sacrificed at the alter. Avraham reveals his true leadership and intellectual independence by not questioning the order for one second.
Avraham reveals… = Nebbech.
The Binding of Yitzhak = The Akeidah.
The Akeidah is seen as the ultimate test, in which Avraham demonstrates his complete faith in a kind and merciful deity, and his trust in adherence to the compact he made with that deity (which entails a real-estate deal). But is it Avraham who is tested? Is not Avraham effectively telling the Aimishteh to put his money where his mouth is? And what about Yitzhak, who is either waiting to see which way the wind will blow, or more likely stoned out of his gourd and not capable of realizing that his future depends on a senile old man and a psychopathic supernatural entity? This is one of the most beloved episodes in the entire Torah.
Or does Avraham value the real estate deal more than his son? Perhaps that is why in every generation the ownership of the Eretz Kadoish is called into question, and Yitzhak has to once more fight for it. We’re requiting an ancient greed, one that reflects a tribe of land-hungry nomads. But this is given extra weight by the land legally reverting to an ownerless status during a yoivel (jubilee) year.
A Gemmarah in Kesubois brings down a Braisah which quotes a Medrish referring to a Tosefta relating to a Mishnah commenting on a Possuk, which refers to a famous machloikess (Rabbinic debate) between Bais Shammai and Bais Hillel. Bais Shammai holds that the eagerness with which Avraham embraces the commandment to cook his son at the alter reveals his true identity: Hannibal Lechter. Bais Shammai cites as proof the fact that at the beginning of the Parsha, Avraham serves his surprise desert guests a meal of fava beans and a nice chianti.
Bais Hillel holds farkhert; since the Aimishteh apparently loves to devour his own creations, He must be the true Hannibal Lechter.
Gemara = This is the material added onto the Mishna to clarify and expand on issues, passages of which are Sugyos, singular sugya.
Kesubos = Second mesechta in seder Nashim, dealing with marriage. The root word for Kesubos (Ketubot) means writing, hence “writing”, in this context referring to marriage contracts.
Beraisah = Outside material, meaning a non-mishnaic source of legal analysis, but dating from the same period as the Mishna and Gemara.
Medrish = Interpretation; derivational exemplar. The plural is Midrash, which also includes the Mechilta, Sifra, and Sifre).
Tosefta = Addition, supplement. The Tosefta is a second compilation of halacha from the Mishnaic period, with the same section divisions as the Mishna (Zeraim – seeds; Moed – festivals; Nashim – women; Nezikin – damages; Kodeshim – holy stuff; Tohoros – purity).
Please note that Tohoros is my favourite section – I can read about av tumoh and secondary or tertiary sources of filth all night.
Mishna = Repetition, both singularly and plural. The plural refers to the basis of the Talmud, being discursiva on legal issues during the time of the Tannaim. The singular is one discursus or paragraph, cited as an example. Gemara, Mishna, Tosefta are all oral Torah (Torah she b’al peh), which clarify the law as transmitted by the written Torah (Torah she b’iktav).
Posuk = Verse. The Plural is psukim.
Machloikes = A disputation, and hence a legal problem as elucidated in Talmudic literature. Sometimes just a quarrel.
Shammai = One of the sages of the Talmud, head of one of the schools. Considered more exacting than Hillel. Often his rulings tend toward severity, as could be expected from a master-builder used to insisting on rigorous standards.
Hillel = One of the sages of the Talmud, head of one of the schools. More lenient than Shammai, usually. Traditionally we follow Hillel. Hillel was a poor man who by his studiousness late in life rose to great stature in the academy.
It is customary to adhere to either Hillel’s interpretation in all matters, or Shammai’s interpretation. It is considered bad form to cherry-pick. If you choose Hillel, stick with Hillel. If you choose Shammai, stick with Shammai.
Parsha = Section.
Please note that either justifying an opinion or disputing with another scholar customarily follows the lines described above – citing older core authorities first, then moving outward as far as authority, and forward in time. Often this necessitates going back to an original core source for another line of thought. Two rebbeim can keep this up for hours, though often one will try to one-up the other and end the geshprach by citing an Acharon that nobody has ever heard of, or a seifer by a paskener whose tshuves are notoriously shver.
Sometimes this ends in the time-honoured words “shut up you koofer”, to which the other responds “I’m a koifer?!?! I’M A KOIFER?!?! And you’re another, you, you, you LITVAK!!!!” It’s a tradition.
Fava Beans = A tasty Mediterranean legume, much prized in the land, and in neighboring lands.
FUL MUDAMMES (Fava Bean Mash)
Four Cups dried fava beans, soaked overnight or according to package directions
One onion, chopped
Two beefsteak tomatoes, chopped
Two or three jalapeno chilies, left whole
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 tsp. ground coriander
1/2 tsp. cinnamon powder
1/2 tsp. turmeric
2 Tbs. parsley, minced
2 Tbs. cilantro, minced
2 to 6 cloves garlic, minced
Olive oil, salt, pepper, water
Put the beans in boiling water, and cook for about five or ten minutes. Drain and squeeze the beans to remove the skins, which rinse off and discard.
Brown the onion in olive oil. Add beans, with water to cover generously, and bring to a gentle boil. Stir in tomatoes and spices, and float the chiles on top for aroma (do not break - they will contribute a delicate flavour if left whole, and a burning sensation otherwise. Cook until the stew thickens. Add fresh herbs, turn off heat. Add garlic. Mash the beans by pressing against the side of the pot with a wooden spoon, or use a potato masher (mudammes means mashed). Add a little salt and pepper, and drizzle with olive oil. Serve over rice, with some bread on the side.
Hannibal Lechter = Bafflingly, this is the same Gemtria as Jerry Lewis – ‘viper pit’, and ‘braggadocio’. I do not know what to make of this.
On the episode of the Akaidah, the RAN asks: why would the Reboinoisheloilum ask Avraham such an unseemly request, to kill his own son; why doesn't He put Avraham to a cleaner yet equally challenging test, such as to pay retail? The RAN answers that Hakkadoshboruchhu wanted to once and for all scare the crap out of Avraham, and this was the best way, short of sending in ghosts to haunt his tent.
RAN = Rabbeinu Nisim Ben Reuven Girondi (d. ~1380). An Arrogonese scholar, author of a supercommentary on the mefarsha of the RIF (Rabbi Yitzhak Al-Fassi, 1013 – 1103). Both are printed in the back of the Gemara with the commentary of the Rosh.
The Tzitz Eliezer, on the other hand, offers a beautiful interpretation. The ultimate challenge for a father, or a Rebbe, is to bear witness to the estrangement of a son. By bringing Yitzchak to the alter, Avraham had to overcome his fear of causing Yitzchak to hate him for the rest of his life (all two hours of it). The Aimishteh, too, risked alienating Avraham, the progenitor of the Chosen People. So the true challenge brought down in VaYayrah is of staying committed to one's idealogy, even at the risk of losing the loyalty of the successors of the next generation.
Tzitz Eliezer = Rav Eliezer Waldenberg (b. 1917), a modern day posseik, author of a riezige collection of teshuvos (responsa), the Teshuves Tzitz Eliezer. His opinions (many of which deal with medical halacha) fill several volumes. The tzitz was an inscribed golden badge which was part of the outfit of the kohain hagadol (high priest), attached to the front of the migba’as (turban).
I too know this feeling. I was once away on business, traveling to Cancun to open up a new Bais Medris. That week, I asked my Talmid Muvhak (my principal student protege, also known in Yiddish as my "bitch") to prepare my weekly Parshas Hashavua drasha. My Talmud Muvhak, Dr./Rabbi Sterling/ Shmiel Tyler/Tanenbaumowitz, shared with my beloved readership his tendency towards Literary Deconstructionism; that is, taking the Toirah out of its original context, and viewing it as relevant solely from a contemporary perspective. In short, he is both an apikoress and a minuval.
However, should he ever call you in the future, I strongly encourage you to take his call. Deep inside him is a lost Jewish soul. As SVP of Yeshivas Chipas Emmes, Sterling/ Shmiel is responsible for helping to keep our doors open, our lights on, and our students out on bail...I mean, in the Bais Medrish. Consequently, I beg of you, show him that glimmer of your true Yiddishe Neshama (Jewish soul).
If he asks you for money, write him a bigger check than he asks for. If not for the Yeshiva, do it for him -- this might help bring him back to the true path. If not for him, then do it for yourself, you selfish good-for-nothing mamzer. And if not for yourself, do it for me; I'd like to open up a new Bais Medrish in Honolulu around Christmas time.
Do not give him cash.
Ah Gutten Shabbos you Minuval.
