Rabbi Pinky Schmeckelstein,
With The Commentary of the RABAM
Holiday Drasha
Roish Hashanah Drasha

Before I begin my Roish Hashanah drasha, I must first respond to the thousands of e-mails and telephone calls which have flooded in from talmidim such as yourself wondering where I was last week. Truth be told, I was grabbing my last days of summer vacation in the bungalow colony, swatting at the mosquitoes at night as I listened to my neighbors the Heimowitzsteinbergs being mekayim the mitzvah of Pru Urvu with the window open. He's 300 pounds, she's 250. Between the two of them it's like the annual running of the bulls. I found this so disturbing I was unable to write any Divrei Toirah.

Mekayim = Giving existence to. Hence, in the context of mitzvois, being obedient or observant.  But one can also be mekayim divrei – obedient to the expressed wishes (of another person).

Pru urvu = The Mitzvah of multiplying. Be fruitful and multiply, as it says in Bereishis (Genesis), psook 1:28 “Va yevarech otam Elohim va yomerlahem Elohim pru u rvu u milu et ha aretz ve chivshuha uredu bi’dgat ha yam u veof ha Shamayim u ve chol chaya ha romeset al ha aretz” (And G-d blessed them, and said to them ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth and subdue it, and rule over the fish in the sea, and the birds in the skies, and all living things that traverse upon the ground’).

300 pounds and 250 pounds = 550 pounds of loving.  Koof Taf Noon.  The weight of a pigmy hippopotamus, a herbivorous mammal with a rounded body, short legs, and a broad head. The elk also weighs as much.  Neither animal is kosher.


But I have since returned to the Bais Medrish in my Yeshiva, where our talmidim are studying twenty-two hours a day in preparation for the Yomim Noraim (High Holidays), as well as for their upcoming Real Estate license exams.

Yomim Noraim = The Days of Awe. Rosh Hashana (New Year), Tzom Gedalia (Fast of Gedalia), My Birthday! I mean Yom Kipper (Yom Kippur).  Selichos (penitential prayers, prayers for forgiveness; selichos – forgiveness ) are said during this time, according to Sephardic minhag starting on the second day of the month of Elul (so that selichos are said for as long as Moishe spent on Har Sinai – 40 days; Elul is a time to reflect), whereas Ashkenazim begin two Sundays before Rosh Hashana (so that there will be ten opportunities for fasting and reflection before the end of Yom Kipper) – according to Chazal, selichos must be said for a minimum of four days before Rosh Hashana, in reference to the four days of checking an animal to ascertain that it is blemish-free, and fit for sacrifice. 

Selichos may be said at any time during the day, though the best time has been determined to be at the end of night, when the attribute of the Aimishteh associated with mercy is at its fullest. Man is most alone during the last hour of the night, and therefore most likely to be in tune with his maker.  One does not say selichos during the first half of the night, EXCEPT on Yom Kippur.

The selichos services are meant to prepare us for this time of the year, putting us in the proper frame of mind – humility. As it says, in “l’cha Hashem ha tzedaka”, ‘like beggars and paupers we knock - on your gate do we knock, oh Merciful and Compassionate One’.

Key to selichos are the thirteen merciful attributes of Hashem (Shlosh Esrei Midos):
1. Hashem merciful before a person sins,   2. Hashem merciful after a person sins,   3. Mercy of transcendent power,   4. Compassion,   5. Graciousness,   6. Slow to anger,   7. Abundant in goodness,   8. Abundant in truthfulness,   9. Preserver of mercy for thousands of generations,   10. Forgiving inequity,   11. Forgiver of transgressions,   12. Forgiver of errors,   13. Cleanser of sins. 

As it says in Shmos (Exodus), Parsha Ki Sisa (when you raise up), psook 34:6 “va ya'avor Adonai al panav va yikra 'Adonai, Adonai, El rachum ve chanun, erech apayim ve rav chesed ve emes” (And the LORD passed by before him, and recited: 'The Lord, the Lord, G-d merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth). 

These thirteen aspects of Hashem’s mercy are the answer to Moishe’s plea “hareini na et kvodeicha” (show me your glory!).

On the other hand, you might find selichos to be repetitive and dreary.  Some people do.


This week we will celebrate and embrace the New Year, pray for forgiveness of our past sins, and moan about the need to pay extra for seats when we are already spending too much as it is on annual synagogue membership.

Pay extra for seats = As a means of returning to the administration of your shul recompense for allowing your miserable carcass to even be there, the more so as it sits on some prime real estate which could be sold for a very handsome sum to those Notzerim who have been wanting to move in ever since the Kushim moved out. What? You think we don’t take that into consideration?  Don’t you know ANYTHING about portfolio management?

In a famous Mishnah in Masechta Roish Hashanah, Rabban Gamliel asks why synagogues charge for seats on the High Holidays -- shouldn't they embrace all who attend services and not put up any potential barriers to their participation? In the Gemarrah, Rav Pappa builds on this question, pointing out that Jewish communal responsibilities also include Yeshiva tuition, kosher food and paying off the annoying schnorrers who show up at our doors uninvited. So why must shuls engage in Lifnei Iver and chase away any returnees to the faith?

Masechta Rosh Hashana = The tractate in Mo’ed (festivals) that specifically discusses this occasion.

Rabban Gamliel = The thirty first recipient of the tradition (oral law, Torah Sheh-B’Alpeh) since Moishe.

Imagine, if you will, that there are a number of you standing in a circle, and the person on your left whispers a phrase into your ear. You turn and whisper the phrase into the ear of the person on your right, who does likewise. Eventually, when the phrase comes full circle, it will have been enriched and elaborated to the nth degree.  Now imagine that same process, with thousands of phrases, and thousands of people, over thirty plus generations.

I am constantly amazed at the miracle that is Talmud. Clearly we have better ears than the Goyim. 

Yeshiva tuition = Extortion mamesh. 

Kosher food = Extortion of the flesh.  If you don’t know what this is, you probably should not be reading this. I suspect that you may be an idolater. Please put this down on a table, and step away respectfully. Do not put it on a chair (which might lead to a disrespecting of the name), do not crumple it up (which might lead to a disrespecting of the name), and do not cast it aside (which might lead to a disrespecting of the name). Careful, I’m watching you.

Paying off = Extortion.

Annoying shnorrers who show up = Customarily, at this time of year in nice neighborhoods, meshulechim (those who are deputized to a task, from ‘shelach’ - send) will come around and ask for charitable contributions.  A few of them are gentlemen, but many others are extortionate guilt-trippers with no sense of shame, who do everything but bash you over the head and take your wallet.  Worse than Jovy’s Witnesses and the Latter Day Saints. 
It’s a mitzvah.

Shnorrer = Yiddish term meaning someone who shnorrs, or engages in shnorredikishkeit.  Shoyn. 

Okay okay, for those of you outside the Five Towns: Shnorr = To requisition, demand, beg, mooch, finagle.  When organized around Rosh Ha Shana as a means of raising funds, it feeds off the obligation to be charitable, the mitzvah of tzedaka.  And guilt.  Massive, gut-wracking, painful guilt.  Which we encourage.  We need a new Mikvah.

Lifnei iver = Lifnei iver lo sitten michsol: do not place a stumbling block before the blind. Which means that one should not cause others to err, nor take advantage of their ignorance.
Vaykira (Leviticus), pasook 19:14.


Toisfois offers a gevaldik answer to this question, based on lessons we learn from Yaakov and Eisav. As Eisav returns from a day of hunting empty handed and hungry, Yaakov tricks Eisav into surrendering his birthright by giving him a bowl of lentil soup in exchange. Says Toisfois, we must choose to be like one or the other -- either fiscally bankrupt like Eisav, or morally bankrupt like Yankif Avinu. And clearly most shuls in our day choose the latter.

Toisfois = The Tosafists; late mediaeval commentators on Talmud and Torah, most of whom lived in northern France. Rashi, Rashbam, Rabbeinu Tam, bam bam biddi bam.

Yaakov and Eisav = Two brothers who feature prominently in the fifth and sixth aliyos of Parshos Toldos, in Seyfer Breishis.  Yitzhok, their father, is old and blind, and gets tricked into blessing Yaakov (whom we affectionately call Yankif Avinu – our father Yankif; because from his loins we sprung) with the blessing meant for Eisav – Yaakov dressed himself in a smelly pelt, and Yitzhak could not tell the difference.  But before this happened, Yaakov had asked Eisav to trade his birthright for a bowl of soup. A bowl of soup!  Red bean brei!  Idiot!

Although there are some who say that Eisav got the better deal.  Discuss among yourselves.

Why are Yaakov and Eisav mentioned here?  To remind us that the yomim tovim are family observances, in the same way that shabbes requires family in order to be echt shabbesdik.

True yiddishkeit absolutely requires that family connection, and the Torah is filled with heart-warming examples of family involvement, like Kayin and Hevel (Bereishis, psook 4:10 “Ve ata arur ata min ha adama, asher patsta et piha laka chat et damei achicha yadeicha” – and cursed are you now by the ground, which opened her mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand), Yoisef sold into slavery by his brothers, Ishmael and his mother driven into the wastelands, Job and his daughters, and, perhaps the best story about family relationships, David who slew his cousin.

David who slew his cousin = Because of a famine in the land, Naomi and her husband Elimelech and their sons Machlon and Chilyon went to Moab, where Elimelech died.  While there, the two boys marry Orpah and Ruth, local Moabite girls. 

When Naomi’s sons subsequently also snuff it, she tells her daughters-in-law that they should return to their mother’s house, and get on with their lives – they’re still young, and zesty, and attending to a woman who is scarce likely to provide them with husbands would be a bleak future for them mamesh.  Orpah leaves, but Ruth cleaves to Naomi, saying “entreat me not to leave you, or refrain from following you, for wherever you go, I go, and where you stay, I shall stay. Your people are my people, and your G-d is my G-d, where you perish, so will I, and there I shall be buried”.  Shoyn.

Naomi returns to the land from Moab, with her widowed daughter-in-law, who eventually marries Boaz Ben Salmon Ben Nachshon Ben Aminadav Ben Ram Ben Chetzron Ben Perets (a kinsman of Elimelech), and to them is born Oved, who begets Yishai, who begets David.

Orpah, meanwhile, marries a giant of a Philistine (a remarkably well-endowed gentleman, with large limbs, groiss und shtark, firm, lively, and full of manly vigour, smooth and uncircumcised), and they head to Gath, where their generations follow each other, in the same number as Boaz Ben Salmon Ben Nachshon Ben Aminadav Ben Ram Ben Chetzron Ben Perets (who begat Oved, who begat Yishai, who begat David) and Ruth’s seed, eventually bringing forth Goliyas mi Gas, whose gav was six amos and a zaret.  

In Shmuel One, the two cousins finally meet panim to panim, in psook 17:48, and in psook 17:51 & 52 David whacks Goliath, first felling him with a well-slung stone, then swacking off his head with his own blade, as it says "Va yechezak David min ha pelishti, ba kela u va even, va yach et ha pelishti, va yemitehu, ve cherev ein be yad David" (And David was strong over the Philistine, with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him, though there was no sword in the hand of David).  17:51 "va yarats David va ya'amod el ha pelishti va yikach et charbo va yishlefa mi tara, va yemottehu va yichrat ba et rosho" (And David ran, and stood over the Philistine, and took his sword, and pulled it from its sheath, and killed him and cut off his head with it).

When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they had hysterics. 

So then, family, as we say in Dutch, ‘van je familie moet je ‘t hebben’ (from your family you shall get it! Pronunciation: fahn yuh fameely moot yuh it hebbn).Every time.  The Mechootenim too.

Damn’ hippies.

If nothing else, the long lists of begats in the Torah underscore one crucial point: if you know who your relatives are, you know who your enemies are – or leastways who your rivals are likely to be.   Brocho and Klala are closely related.

In that light, the long dispute between the Pelishtim and the Bnei Yisroel can be read as a family drama over who gets to pounce around with the Aron HaKoidesh in the sandlot, and who gets to run the family farm. And surely you remember that, like many peoples in the area of the Eretz Kadoish, the Pelishtim have an ancestor in common with the Bnei Yisroel?


This rabbinic shakuvetaria (discourse) very much helps to define and capture the essence of our existential quandary at this time of year. The question really is: why do we have one special point in the year for repentance and renewal; are we not always encouraged, and even invited, to improve ourselves, or to at least make a healthy donation? Indeed, what is the nature of the choice that confronts us? How does Roish Hashanah help us along a new path?

(And an additional key question is: why was I assigned THAT seat, next to that guy I can't stand, and so far from the aisle that I may as well pee in my pants during mussaf?)

---
Machen mai raglim avn pantalon = The Halacha of loss of control of the nether regions is a groisse inyun, but our minhag follows the ancients. 

As is written in Meseches Shabbes in Seyder Mo’ed, it was asked (by Juddah Ha Amoni): “may I be excused?” To which Rabban Gamliel the shamash said “siddown and shuddup”.  Rabbi Joshua said “surely one may have eaten something disagreeable? Did not the new chef at the Darbar Palace, Senakribhai Asuri, mix it all up?” The shamash then replied “if that’s the problem, he don’t belong here”, whereupon Rabbi Joshua proceeded to enumerate (in detail) stomach ailments. And after listening to this, the assembled scholars encouraged Juddah Amoni to rush down the hall.

What can we shper from this?  Haste, make waste! 

That seat next to that guy = Seating is a problem even more acute since that new nebbishy rabbi, Rav Uri Metuvim sneakily took over the lease of the shul while I was on vacation (shluchim, feh. Yale graduates, double feh.).   A shmeecht, solts krign a kolere, kein ein ahore!

But if you had ‘re-joined’ our kahal, you would now be much better off.  Since those defections six months ago, we’ve decided that we might as well rent the banquet hall of the Darbar Palace down the street on a regular basis – nothing says shabbes tish like some nice spicy vindaloo on a cold autumn day.

You could also use a gartel to control your nether regions. A nice long stout gartel, with a multiplicity of knots. Strong, sturdy, tight.  Sehr shabbesdik, & zesty mamesh.

Mussaf = Additional. An additional prayer service on Shabbes, which recalls the additional sacrifice performed at the Temple.  It resembles the Amidah (Shmoneh Esrei – eighteen benedictions), but has a different central section, which mentions the temple sacrifices and prays that the Temple be rebuilt. 


The classical answer is that the sound of the shoifar-- the ram's horn -- is intended to awaken within us our innate desire to embrace the Aimishteh through repentance and the fulfilling of Kol HaToirah Kooloh. Clearly, whoever came up with this response never heard the shoifar blown in the Yeshiva where I received Smicha, where, to insure that each shofar note is 100% koisher, they repeat the blows again and again. And again. And again. It's enough to make the Rosheshiva himself pray to Yushka for salvation.

Shoifar = Usually a twisty Ram’s horn trumpet, although the Teimanim (Yemenite Jews) use a long horn from an antelope. The shofar was used to announce the presence of the Shekinah, to marshal the multitudes, and as a call to arms.  But in a religious context, it serves a different purpose. The sound of the shofar is a heartfelt cry, a call of the emotions, which cannot be put into words, and which the hearer cannot relate to intellectually, but has to feel at an elemental level.

Reb Hai Gaon offers an alternate answer, suggesting that Roish Hashanah is like a woman getting a facial. Sure she can put on makeup every day, but the act of spending eighty-five dollars to get her pores cleansed makes the meeskeit at least FEEL prettier.

Reb Chai Gaon = Rav Chai Ben Sherirah, 969 - 1038.  The last of the Geonim, after whose labours the torch of Talmud passes to the Moorish lands and Europe.  He was head  (hence styled ‘Gaon’)  of the academy at Pumbedisa, teacher of among others Rabbeinu Chananel and Rav Nissim who both later became rosheshivim in Kairouan, and (both of them) taught Rav Yitzhak Alfassi (the RIF, 1013 - 1103).

One of the remarkable things about the academies is the paradigmatic chain of transmission which has been recorded, showing that the relationship between master and pupil is as important as the father-son relationship (see appendix). 

Gaon = Genius, used epithetically for great scholars, such as the Gaon mi Vilne.

Meeskeit = Nisht a sheynheit. A person in need of spackle and caulking.  Although, if my shvigger felt any prettier, that would not be a blessing, let me tell you.  Ruth the Moabite she isn’t.  By a long shot.  Mamesh.  I can’t describe.

Feeling pretty = The most dangerous phrase in the English language is “I feel pretty”. More so if uttered by a biker named “Fuzzy Bear”.   I really do not wish to talk about it.


Rabbi Akiva Eigar points to the three central themes of the Roish Hashanah liturgy as providing the answer: Malchiyois, Zichroinois, and Shoifrois. Malchiyois represents the father, Zichroinois the son, and Shoifrois the holy ghost. Of course, Reb Akiva is known for his secret affinity for Catholicism and his attraction to hot nuns.

Rabbi Akiva Eigar  = Rav Akiva Ben Moishe Eiger, 1761 – 1838. Born in Hungary, nifter in Posen. A famous acharon (acharon: later one; Torah scholar and Talmudist of the period following the middle ages), the father in law of the Chasem Sofer (1762 – 1839), and a leading light of his time.

Malchiyos = The Kingly aspect of the Aimishteh (as per the GRA: “Ki lashem hameluchah u mosheil ba goyim” – for the Aimishteh’s is the kingship, and His rule is over the nations).

Zichronos = The memory function of the Aimishteh.

Shofros = The sound aspect of the actions of the Aimishteh. 

These together are the three blessings placed in the middle of the Amidah.

GRA = Rabbi Eliya Ben Shlomo Zalman mi Vilne, 1720 1797; the term GRA is an abbreviation of Goan Rabbi Eliyahu


But the Chassam Soifer points to the same three themes. He says that Malchiyois, the theme of the Kingdom of heaven, is like your father, who, no matter how successful you have become, is always ready to tell you what a disappointment you are. Zichroinois, the theme of heavenly remembrance, is like your mother, who, no matter how old you are, will always remind you of how you used to wet your bed. And Shoifrois, the theme of the sound of the shofar, is like your mother- in-law, whose constant talking and picking and nagging and complaining leaves a mind-numbing, deafening ringing in your ears.

Chasem Sofer = Rav Moishe Schreiver, 1763 – 1840. A major posseik (judicial decisor), who is perhaps most known for a statement we disagree with on principle: “chadash assur min ha Toirah” (innovation as regards Torah is verboten).  This reflects the weltanschauung that human civilization spirals further downwards with each generation since Sinai.  Ironic then, that we should read his works and learn from them.

The sound of the shofar = There is a prescribed order and pattern to blowing the shofar, which heightens the experience.  I do not know what it is, as the mitzvah of hearing the shofar leaves me with flashbacks to my chasunah and a splitting headache.


Of course, we set the pattern for the coming year on Roish Hashanah.
My alter zeidey used to tell me not to sleep on Roish Hashanah because that would cause me to have a farshlufinah year. I have always taken that lesson to heart. Consequently, I have a personal minhag to ride my bashert, Feigah Breinah, like a shtender in the afternoon of Roish Hashanah, in order to guarantee a new year with lots of action. And all the while, the einiklach and kinderlach are out poisoning the fish with leftover challah from last week.

Farshlufinah year = A geshlepteh and draggy year. One that is sloopy or slumpy.  In reference to the belief that the way you start the year is the way you shall continue it, and that starting the year with good things will ensure that it will be a good year.  This is a belief common to many cultures, clearly indicating their relationship to the chosen people.  (And in that wise, members of the Triads in Hong Kong have the minhag to mamesh pru-urvu their nashim like an Edomite does his donkey, during New-Year.)

Out poisoning the fish = In reference to Tashlich: to cast off, to send forth - casting off sins for the year, done during the afternoon of Rosh Ha Shana, by emptying one’s pockets into a body of water, or throwing bread at fish. But if you are accustomed to feeding fish during the rest of the year, it cannot count as tashlich (because you are merely doing what you would normally do as regards the fish).  An alternative minhag, which we favour, is to shake out the corners of the tallis – particularly recommended if it has sat on the shelf gathering dust most of the preceding twelve months, as we suspect it has, because you seldom show up in shul, and we can barely recognize your faces.

Which again was why exactly?


It is also critical that our Teshuvah be sincere and complete, not like your usual insincere prayers, you vilda chaya, when you anxiously await the guy who knows all the sports scores to show up at shul. We need to commit to renouncing sin in our everyday lives in order to be true Bnei and Bnois Toirah. A few suggestions for the coming year:

-- Stop buying from Macy's. Macy's sells shatnez, and if you continue to buy there, someone may mistakenly assume you are buying shatnez, and believe it is okay to buy shatnez too.

Shatnez = Mixed fibres comprised of wool and linen, which is forbidden from the Toirah. Best ordered off the internet, delivered to a post-office box, and worn in private or when on vacation in Jamaica.  Urh…., I mean, very much a no-no. 


-- Start using your 300 dollar set of shass more. If not for learning, at least for the benefit of lifting those heavy books. Reboinoishelloilum knows, you can stand to lose a few pounds.

Shas = Shisha Sederim: six orders, being the six orders of the Mishna, and often also meaning the entire Talmud (Mishna AND gemara). The six orders are: Zeraim (seeds – tithes, agriculture, ritual utterances), Moed (festivals), Nashim (women; marriage, divorce, Nazarites), Nezikin (damages – civil and criminal laws, court procedures), Kodashim (holy things, sacrifices, kashrus), Tohoros (ritual cleanliness).

300 dollar set of Shas = Either merely the Mishna, probably a bilingual edition in six annotated volumes, or a remainder. The entire set of sixty three volumes of the Talmud is a little more expensive.  Or it could be one of those cheap Chinese editions.


-- Don't let your wife distract you from Toirah. You should seek every opportunity to go into the other room and pick up a chumash, or go to your weekly shiur. Watching your twelve kids so your wife can have a ten minute break is no excuse for Bittul Toirah!

Bittul Toirah = Time stolen from the study of Toirah, neglecting Toirah study. Such as a Sephardic sage with a turban wound too tight in Yisroel recently stated the NewOrleansim were guilty of.  The Shasser Rosh doesn’t know that praise of Hashem is fundamental to Jazz?  There’s no tfillah in a saxophone?  No tshuvah in blues?  He’s meshugge perhaps?  

Obie needs a pill.

Mamesh.


-- Grow your payiss to be long enough to have monkeys swing from them. You never know when you'll be at a chassanah at the zoo and you'll have the chance to be mesamaiach the chussen and kallah.

Payes = Earlocks, grown out so that one is Mekayim the mitzvah to not round the corners of the head as the heathen in the land did, and the Reformim do.

Mesamaiach the chussen and kallah = To bring joy to the groom and bride, that they may start their lives together with smiles on their faces.

Customarily however this is achieved by, in one room, surrounding the groom with circles of dancing men holding hands and looking very happy, while something similar goes on in the room where the ladies and the bride are.   And perhaps there is some Tallisker in that room also…..

How appropriate it would be if the humiliation of having zoo animals take liberties with one’s long twisty sideburns causes that joy, as marriage mamesh involves much humiliation, and how much more so with monkeys. 

Have I mentioned my mother-in-law?

Or kinderlech?


-- Next time you sneak out for a little traifus, remember to make a Shehakol on your pork. After all, the Aimishteh created it too.

Shehakol = One of the blessings said over comestibles. There are six general types: Ha Motzi (… ha motzi lechem min ha aretz – who brings forth bread from the ground; breads), Mezonos (…borei minei mezonos – who creates the variety foods; cakes, cookies, etc.), Ha Gafen (…borei pri ha gafen - who creates the fruit of the vine; for wine and grape juice), Ha Etz (…borei pri ha etz – who creates the fruit of trees; fruit), Ha Adama (…borei pri ha adamah – who creates the fruits of the ground; vegetables), and Shehakol (…she ha kol nehiyah bi dvaro – who created everything by his words; for miscellaneous drinks, fish, dairy products, meats).  These all have the same beginning phrase: Boruch atta Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha Olam (blessed are you, our G-d, Lord King of the world).

In the Gemara (Brachois) it says that if “one says the brocho she ha kol nehiyah bi dvaro over anything, he is yotzei”. 

Yotzei = To fulfill the requirements, to perform that much which one is supposed to fulfill as regards obligations, halachic requirements, and rules. 

It was the minhag of my heilige furfatter the Rebbe of Prolix to say the Shehakol over his tax returns. And Baruch HaShem, he was never audited.


-- When you are in the middle of being mezaneh with your wife, instead of delaying your passion by thinking of baseball players, think of famous Chassidic masters instead. Unless, of course, you get excited by bearded men with shaved heads. In which case, stick with the baseball players.

Mezaneh = As Yehudah was with Tamar. 

Baseball players = Yankees.  And only Yankees.. 


In taking these measures, we will greet the new year with a deeper commitment to making the world a better place and embracing all mankind, in order to maximize our tax deductions, improve interest rates in the coming year, and bring peace between the Eskimos and the Mongolians.

A chessiva v'chasima toivah, you minuval.

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APPENDIX: Chain of Transmission from Moishe through the Sanhedrin and the academies to Rav Chai Gaon.

Starting in the second millennium before the common era:
Moses, Joshua, Pinchas.

10th. Century before common era (BCE):   Eli.

9th. century BCE: Samuel, King David, Achiah.

8th. century BCE: Elijah, Elishah.

7th. century BCE: Yehoyada, Zechariah.

6th. century BCE: Hoshea, Amos, Isaiyah, Michah, Yoel, Nachum, Chavakuk.

5th. century BCE: Tzafaniyah, Yeremiyah.

4th. century BCE: Baruch, Ezra, Shimon Ha Tzadik, Antigonus of Socho.

3rd. century BCE: Yosi ben Yoezer & Yosef ben Yochanan, Yehoshua ben Prachya & Nitai of Arbel, Yehuda ben Tabai & Shimon ben Shetach.

2nd. century BCE: Shmaya & Avtalyon.

1st. century BCE: Hillel & Shammai, Rabban Shimon.

1st. century CE: Rabban Gamliel Ha Zaken, Rav Shimon Ben Gamliel, Rabban Gamliel.

2nd. century CE: Rabban Shimon, Rabbi Yehuda Ha Nasi.

3rd. century CE: Rav, Shmuel, and Rabbi Yochanan; Rav Huna.

4th. century CE: Rabbah, Rava.

5th. century CE: Rav Ashi, Rafram, Rav Sam Abrei d'Rava.

6th. century CE: Rav Yosi, Rav Simoniya Rav Ravai Merav.

7th. century CE: Mar Chanan Meashkaya, Rav Mari, Rav Chana Gaon, Mar Rav Rava, Rav Busai, Mar Rav Huna Mari, Mar Rav Chiyah Memishan, Mar Ravyah.

8th. century CE: Mar Rav Natronai, Mar Rav Yehuda, Mar Rav Yosef, Mar Rav Shmuel, Mar Rav Natroi Kahana, Mar Rav Avraham Kahana, Mar Rav Dodai, Rav Chananya, Rav Maika, Mar Rav Rava, Mar Rav Shinoi, Mar Rav Chaninah Gaon Kahana, Mar Rav Huna Mar Halevi, Mar Rav Menasheh.

9th. century CE: Mar Rav Yeshaya Ha Levi, Mar Rav Kahanah Gaon, Mar Rav Yosef, Mar Rav Ibomai Gaon, Mar Rav Yosef, Mar Rav Avrohom, Mar Rav Yosef, Mar Rav Yitzchak, Mar Rav Yosef, Mar Rav Poltoi, Mar Rav Achai Kahana, Mar Rav Menachem, Mar Rav Matisyahu, Rav Mar Abba, Mar Rav Tzemach Gaon, Mar Rav Hai Gaon.

10th. century CE: Mar Rav Kimoi Gaon, Mar Rav Yehuda, Mar Rav Mevasser Kahana Gaon, Rav Kohen Tzedek, Mar Rav Tzemach Gaon, Rav Chaninah Gaon, Mar Rav Aharon Hacohen, Mar Rav Nechemiah, Rav Sherirah Gaon (died 1006), Rav Hai Gaon (died 1038).
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