| Chapter Six |
| "...If you can save these tears from crying, touch these hands that can't stop shaking, hear my heart that's barely beating..." Another year passed, I saw my daughter frequently, when I did, I got her all day. As low as it may seem, I wanted more, I wanted Shaye. I sat on my sofa, starring at a blank television screen, thinking about everything, tears streaming down my face, I was so...incomplete. I sighed and walked to the kitchen, pulling my shirt off and tossing it in the laundry room, undoing my jeans, going through the fridge for something to eat. Hell, I was too depressed, I exhaled and walked back to the living room, a knock at the door scared the hell out of me, I went to answer it, "Oh my-What the hell are you doing here?" I said, looking at Shaye's bloodshot eyes. "I-" She fainted into my arms, "Shaye?!" I called the paramedics, freaking the hell out of myself, and everyone I talked to. They finally got there, and checked her out, they said she was far beyond exhausted, working full time at the diner and taking care of two kids, how she did it, I'd never know. After a couple days of rest, she was back to her, stubborn self, God I loved her! I did my share with the kids and with her, I, myself was tiered! "Thanks Momma," I said, as my Mom Lynn walked out the door with Benjamin and Justine. "You two get some rest, the kids will be fine," I kissed her and watched her leave. I shut the door and leaned against it, I heaved a breath and turned coming face to face with Shaye, "Oh, Hi Shaye," I smiled, she looked so cute wearing my oversized t-shirt, I chuckled a bit, and bushed past her, walking to the kitchen. I grabbed a wine cooler out of the fridge and grabbed the lid popper out of a drawer, "Justin," I heard her tiny voice behind me, "Yeah?" I said, working to get the lid off the bottle, "Make-love to me," I dropped the bottle with a shatter on the tile floors, "Shit," I said bending to pick up the shattered glass, "Here, I'll help you," "No, no, I got it," I was very uncomfortable with the subject she just brought up. "Justin, I'm serious," She touched my arm softly, "Shaye," "Justin, please," "Shaye, I just, can't," "What? Why?" "Because, I love you," "Your not making sense Timberlake," "Do you remembered what happened last time?" "Which part?" "The nasty break-up we had after," "That won't happen again," "How do you know?" "Watching you with those kids, I just think that we're where we belong; with you," "I want to finish collage and get a decent job," "What can I do to change your mind?" "Nothing, I'm not gonna change my mind," I mopped up the sticky liquid and threw the glass away. I brushed past her and walked to my bedroom, pulling my shirt away from my body, changing into my pajama bottoms, I sighed, laid down, and closed my eyes, not much later, I felt soft hands on my back, and tender kisses on my shoulders. I inhaled, I could smell her, her unique smell of cherry blossom and cucumber melon, filled my senses. I sighed and moaned a bit as she kissed my neck, "Shaye," I turned over and met her lips in a soft, gentle kiss, she hovered over me, and kissed down my chest, I rubbed her back softly, getting caught in the moment, "Wait, stop," I pushed her off me, getting up off the bed, walking cross the room, turning the light on, "Justin, please," She begged. "Listen to me, I can't have sex with you, okay," I said leaning on the end of the bed, against the metal footboard, pointing at her, "Why not?" "Because it's not right," "What's not?" "Shaye, we have two kids we gotta raise," "What does that have to do with anything?" "What if you get pregnant again, I don't have a good job, and I won't until I finish collage," "You finish collage in three months," "Exactly, can't you wait?" "Wait for what?!" "For me to ask you to marry me," "What?" "After I was done with collage, and had a decent job, I was gonna buy you the perfect ring, and ask you to marry me," "I don't wanna get married," "Okay, and I don't wanna have sex," I said waking downstairs to the kitchen, reaching for another wine cooler. I opened it and starred at the wall at the end of the kitchen, I sighed as I heard tiny footsteps, she came up behind me, and wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder, "J. I didn't mean, I didn't wanna marry you SOMEDAY, just not now," "Gosh, Shaye, get it through your head, I wanna save myself, okay," I looked at her over my shoulder, "What?" She let out a laugh, "I'm serious," "how are you gonna save yourself, when you've screwed God knows how many girls," "For your information, I only slept with you," "You did?" "Yes, I don't sleep around Shaye," "Oh Gosh, I'm sorry," "Why don't we just go to bed, okay," "Okay," She sighed, dropping her arms from my waist, walking to the guest room. I sighed and walked to my own room and flipped on the TV, what was I doing... |