Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about

splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit

Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper

wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town

and asked him, “How’s the girlfriend?” Pinocchio replied,

“Who needs a girlfriend?”