A.N: I own everything... Except for Ozzfest. Sacrifices One of the strangest things about rock stars is the fact that they can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. When you become a rock star, there are always people who want to be close to you, but once close they are almost never comforting. This is because no one is real in that world. Everyone wants to be your friend for the fame and the fortune. Either that, or they want to fuck you once, and die happy. It's strange... All Adam wanted to do was be real. Make real music, and be a real person. Unfortunately, all the people around him were fake. Remember how in 'Catcher in the Rye', Holden Caulfield seemed to always be surrounded by 'phonies'? Unfortunately, this situation was all too similar. It seemed they lived in the ultimate cliché rock world; drugs, alcohol, money and girls. It was backstage after a show, and the atmosphere was one every idiot would guess it would be after a show. Beer bottles, some empty, some abandoned, and some still calling out to be taken sat here or there. People were just beginning to get drunk, giggling and raising their voices unnecessarily. Marijuana smoke sat in the air in a cloud above their heads. And of course, those damn girls... Groupies- Adam wasn't afraid to say it. Their singer had two of them sitting on his lap, and a third pulling off his shirt to give him a back rub. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam spied the drummer pulling two more in to an abandoned room. A sea of girls for him to drown in, and the band's guitarist never wanted any of them. Back home, Adam had a girlfriend. Her name was Sasha, and yeah, he loved her, he supposed... C.J. was lucky- And smart. He'd chosen to bring his wife on tour with him, and now they were God knew where. Adam had suggested this to Sasha, but she refused. Something about how she'd never know where he was, and eventually find him getting blown by some chick... That, and C.J. had told Adam he couldn't because it would be copying him. He'd said it just like that- Just like a five year old would say it. He was different. Hell, they all were. Adam hardly knew these guys any more. Six years ago, they were still regular people, more or less. But now? They'd put out their second album, and like the first, it had gone a hell of a lot more than platinum. The money, then the fans, and by that year's Ozzfest, he knew he'd lost them... All right, so it had gone to his own head, too, only not as drastically. He supposed he just wasn't the type to lead the 'rock star' life. Out of the four of them, he was the only one who hadn't grown up relatively spoiled. He was living off very little money when he'd seen the ad for a guitarist, and it had been this way his whole life. He didn't take things for granted, and not a day went by that he was grateful for the opportunity to live his life doing what he loved to do. Everyone wants to get paid for doing something they like, and he was one of these rare people that actually got to. He'd been a music fan his whole life, and ended up knowing what to do and what not to do both in the studio and out. One of these things was to not succumb to temptation, and exploit his body to these little demon females. It seems that groupies are the ones exploiting themselves, but in reality, it's the other way around. Letting one's self be involved with a countless amount of people is the true exploitation. But DAMN was he lonely sometimes. He was away from home, and away from And for some reason, he was especially lonely tonight. Adam had always been very emotional, and when this happened, he didn't always think. As his eyes scanned the room, they locked with those of a young woman. He smiled politely, his eyes tired, as if to tell her he didn't want what she was offering, before looking around even more. ... Then again, there was ONE girl he'd consider. For a little bit, Adam watched her talk to some man he didn't recognize. Her name was Marty, and she was his guitar tech. Fresh from college, she was vibrant and eager to get swept in to the whirlwind of the music business. This desire, and her genuine love for music was the thing Adam liked most in her. He ignored her sparkling brown eyes and long brown hair and dancer's body, and focused only on her attachment to music. Sasha never had this. It wasn't that she hated music, it was just that it didn't have it's own space in her heart, like it did with Adam and Marty. He was attracted to her, but kept it to himself. And she liked him- He could tell. They flirted, but he knew that her feelings for him went beyond that. She knew he had a girlfriend, one of four years, but that didn't stop her from wanting him. When she gestured her arms to make some point or another, her shirt rode up slightly, showing Adam her tattoo- A bar of music. On the spot, this reminded him of his attraction to her. As he approached her, knowing well that he was an asshole. * * * In the dark room, the digital clock showed four thirty-two. Adam sat up in bed, looking down at the figure of Marty, sleeping naked next to him. Grunting, Adam threw the covers off of him, pulled on his pants, and went outside to the balcony of his hotel room. He dug around in his pockets until he found a lighter and a pack of Marlboros. Placing a cigarette between his lips, he looked out at the city in front of him, and tried to figure out which one it was. Half the time, and it wasn't because he was drunk or high, he didn't know where he was. City after city, show after show. Try as he might, he couldn't stop it from becoming just one big blur. Minneapolis... He smiled to himself as he figured out the city. Lighting the cigarette he began to think about his life. So many wanted it. Souls would be sold to the devil if it meant being as big as the band Adam played in. But no one really understood the sacrifices that came along with it. You'll never be normal again. Money changes everything in this world, and it's a big part of the one music rules. People are lost. Not literally, but mentally, and maybe this is worse. Losing your mind and soul is maybe just as bad as actually dying. And so many people become such dicks... Adam dryly laughed to himself that this is what happened to him. He slept with Marty. And in doing that, he was cheating on the woman he loved, and toying with the heart of another one. He supposed he was becoming one of those lost people. He'd always thought he knew all there was to know about the ways in this occupation, and was now questioning it. But Adam knew everything there was to know about being a rock star. The problem was, he just needed to learn how to be a human being. *~* Author's note: Um... This made no sense... I think...