Your two greatest pleasures…how can you combine them? The good news is that with the proper care and attention, kids and cats cannot only be happy with you, but with each other. As with anything regarding the little ones (babies and toddlers, as well as with kittens), the key word is SUPERVISION.

Kids need to be taught how to pet the kitty properly (with the fur and not against it), not to touch its “sensitive” spots (most cats will have a grab-and-bite reaction to petting their tummies), and not to tease the kitty.

Adults and children should be careful to not use hands or feet as lures (like a cat toy), as it encourages kitties to pounce, scratch and bite people; toys are for playing, hands are ONLY for petting and grooming.

By your instruction, kids learn how to read cat body language (i.e., when its tail is twitching or ears are back, it is time to leave kitty alone).

Kids also need to learn how to properly pick up and hold a cat—supporting its chest and back legs, and to NOT pick up the cat if it protests or doesn’t like being picked up.

Babies and toddlers have a natural tendency to grab fur, pull on tails, and give chase, and these actions need to be anticipated and interrupted when they arise. When the inevitable happens, parents would do well to teach their child what not to do, what they should do instead, and provide an alternative if needed (substitute another type of activity if the child is feeling rambunctious or if the cat wants to be left alone).

One note of caution: with small children (toddlers to age 7), kittens under 6-months is definitely something to avoid. Toddlers are into everything and need to explore. Their impulse control and attention spans are limited (they often cannot retain instruction for very long), and a toddler’s well-meaning, loving hug can literally crush and kill a fragile kitten.

Children under 7 can be noisy and energetic (frightening to a baby cat!), and not be as careful to look out for kitty: thus, accidents can happen. Even older cats should be protected from your youngster’s enthusiasm and carefree ways, but the chances of disaster are decreased if the cat is a sturdy adult. Gentle, tolerant adult cats -- who are agile enough to run or jump out of the way of playful children -- are your best option!

Still, with cats of any age, the rule of SUPERVISION needs to be in full effect with toddlers, and gradually can decrease as the child becomes more mature, aware and reliable. In any case, it is important to keep playtimes short, as too much handling can cause cats to become upset or skittish. Kids need to learn to respect the cat—though Fluffy looks like a stuffed animal, she is not a toy, and interaction needs to be solely on Fluffy’s terms.

If you are deciding on whether to bring a cat into your home with your children, it's easiest to wait until your children are mature enough to require less supervision, such as after age 8 or 10.

While your child may be well-behaved with kitty, his or her friends may not be as used to the do’s and don’ts of feline handling, or with being careful with doors so the cat doesn’t get out. Be sure to directly supervise guests with your cat. When you are unable to watch without distraction, move the kitty to a safe room, separate from your visitors.

You should keep your kitty’s immunizations up-to-date (including the rabies vaccine) and have the records in a safe and easily accessed place. This is to protect your cat in case mishandling occurs and a bite results. If the parent of a visiting child reports the bite to authorities and you cannot provide the health certificate, the Department of Health can seize your kitty. The same advice applies with adult visitors who could handle your cat without your supervision, such as household help.

You might try to accustom your cat before the baby comes home to the soon-to-be new routines, by simulating your post-birth schedule early. Though you will be busy after the baby arrives, don’t forget to make sure your cat gets enough attention to keep him feeling loved and appreciated!

The good part about having a cat before children is that it can make the adjustment somewhat easier; kids are brought up with the experience of how to handle a cat.

One important thing to keep in mind is that pregnant women should avoid handling cat litter and waste if it’s possible. Have someone else take care of litterbox duties. If this is not an option, then use latex gloves while scooping, and follow with thorough hand-washing. The reason is Toxoplasmosis: a flu-like illness caused by a parasite sometimes found in feces, especially if the cat has been fed raw meat or eaten prey. Your initial exposure to this parasite, if it occurs in your pregnancy's first trimester, can be harmful to an unborn child.

Please do not over-react to this risk but instead exercise proper caution. Most Americans are already immune to Toxoplasmosis from handling raw meat and garden or potting soil. For a good explanation of Toxoplasmosis and recommendations for safety, please visit: Toxoplasmosis

Small children should be protected from cat food and litterboxes, which may be fascinating to them but unhealthy for them to touch. A hooded cat box with a swing door, a closet with a small cat door, or keeping the cat box above child reach can all be helpful strategies, but of course the most important one is adult supervision. Try to make sure that the child would have to pass the responsible adult to reach the catbox!

Some people wonder about the idea of declawing cats to protect children. In short, it is NOT a good idea to declaw your cats for this reason (as well as for other reasons! Please see http://declaw.lisaviolet.com). Claws are a cat’s first line of defense, and a swat or swipe will almost surely cause less damage to your child than a bite. Cats may even keep claws retracted during a warning swat, resulting in no harm. Removing claws causes cats to feel more vulnerable and thus more prone to resort to a defensive bite. The article found at "Are clawed cats better for children?" provides an excellent discussion of this topic.

Not to be too worried, though: proper supervision and child training will go far in preventing teeth or claws from becoming an issue. Should a mishap occur, the best thing to do is to NOT physically punish or yell at either the cat or the child for the incident; punishment only makes things worse by heightening tension. Typically, it was an accident, and both will have learned their lessons. Calmly separate the two if they seem to still be upset.

Parents would do best to reserve the actual cat care for themselves—providing food and fresh water, keeping the litterbox clean, clipping nails, and grooming coats. Amidst the many things that children need to focus on, responsibility for the welfare of a dependent creature should not be one of them. Kids can be forgetful or distractible, and kitty will be the one to suffer. Furthermore, children can come to resent the pet if forced into the role of caretaker. This is not to say that your kids shouldn’t help you in taking care of the cat together—under supervision, it can be a valuable experience.

In sum, being a positive role model to your children in teaching them to consider the cat’s point of view and treating the pet with gentle kindness is a great opportunity to foster empathy in young ones. Children typically adore their furry friends, and learn how to become caring and compassionate through their experiences with animals. Your attention and involvement will be well rewarded both in terms of safety and in happiness for your beloved kids and cats.