whatiwouldsaytoastroke

I often sit and think when I have time on my hands. For the past few months, the topic of my thinking has usually been Strokes related. Call me an over-obsessed freak if you want, but it's the truth none-the-less. Every time an opportunity arises in which I think I could run into a Stroke, I try to determine what the hell I would say to them. It's a hard concept, approaching some guys, or a guy who you happen to know a hell of a lot about, and in turn doesn't even know you exist. You wanna say the right thing. The most obvious thing is to say something along the lines of: 'I really love your music,' or 'You made a great first album,' but who wants to be that person? I've been that person before, and it doesn't inspire much conversation. It only garners a 'Thank you,'or something similar. You canā't go up and say: 'You're really fuckin' hot, and I want to jump your bones,' cuz then you will either get laughed at, reamed out, or dragged off to some seedy backroom for expected sex not to be remembered by the Stroke the next morning. I don't want to go there either. So, it's hard to figure out. Should I say "Hey, I like your stuff, but yo Lou Reed is the shit"? Then you run the risk of being pegged as like a random girlie trying to sound like she knows shit about good music. Of course I could always back it up with some knowledge, and heartfelt sentiments, but you know, I think all of the Strokes probably know more about Lou, John, and the Velvets than I ever will. I couldn't make a dumb comment like: "Hey nice pin," either, cuz then they'd just think that I recognized them, but couldn't think of anything better to say, and therefore assume I either hate their music, or wanna sleep with them, prompting them to hit on me for either reason. You know the ideal situation for someone like me would be to sit down on a couch with my air of cool, enraptured in a conversation with someone I know, and be approached by a Stroke. That I could handle better, because I'd be surprised, and giddy on the inside, but they'd have to worry about the opening chit-chat, not me. So then I could ease into a Strokes situation. You see? Yeah! Well how many rock stars come up to mere mortals unless they want a cigarette? None I've encountered. So maybe I'll just have to be in the moment to make a decision like that. first thing I ever say to a Stroke. Well, technically, maybe it was 'I love you, Julian!' as he walked offstage one time. I mean, he didn't even hear it though. I mean, you know, I'd never say something like that. You know! Ha ha. Yeah, Sorry.

Possible opening lines to begin a conversation with a Stroke, or two, or five:

1. "I love Corona!"
2. "So, who is this Maya girl?"
3. "Hey, um, I was just talking to my friend about Television, and how much they suck, could you help me win the argument?"
4. "Hi, I'm a big fan, but I love The Rolling Stones. Wanna talk about them?"
5. "Hey Fab. I know that's not a drum machine on 'Hard to Explain', but my friend over there just doesn't believe me. Let's go tell her off."
6. "Yo Al, soā?¦ You're in Southern California, and it's fucking raining! What do you have to say about that?"
7. "Hi Nick, Im not hitting on you or anything, but uh, can I buy you a hamburger? In & Out, maybe? It'll be fun!"
8. "Nikolai, right?"(No reply) "So,how goes it?" (No reply) "Read any good books lately?"(No reply) "Nice hair. See you later".
9. "Hey Julian, I'm drunk as hell! You too huh? We could be buddies."(He whispers something in my ear.) "Not those kind of buddies Julian. (Laugh, pause) Oh what the hell, let's do it! Meet me in the bathroom. Ha ha! Just kidding. Lets find a hotel room or something."
10. "Its you guys. You guys are cool. Really talented and you write great songs. Wanna hang out?"

Ha ha ha, yep. Thats mostly never gonna happen, but you know,maybe. I'll manage. Maybe I'll surprise myself and say something incredibly insightful. Of course I won't. I'l probly say: "I love you," and then throw myself at each of them in an overwhelming hug. They'll be all: "Security! We've got another screwy one!"Hee, actually it'll probably be somewhere in between those two scenarios. I hope. We'll see. Someday, someday.