MI: Welcome, one and all, to New EXTREME Wrestling's SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST 7!

(Where you're at is the arena, outside, where two men are already fighting.)

LN: I'm Larry Nabisco, BACK IN ACTION with my partner in crime, Mike Ixnay, who on Thursday night quit Destructo Championship Wrestling!

MI: But enough about me! Our first match of the evening is already under way!

(You realize it's Wicked Clown and Ares battling each other.)

LN: Well, this one started in the parking lot, Clown brought a ref and jumped Ares as he was getting out of his car, and so, here they are, fighting around the parking lot!

(Clown scoops up Ares, slams him to the ground.)

MI: Well, Wicked Clown with a THUNDERING powerslam!

LN: This HIGHWAY 666 DEATH MATCH has already seen Wicked Clown attempt to stab Ares!

(Split-screen footage rolls of Clown producing a knife, attempting to stab Ares with it. The referee fights it away from him.)

MI: Well, we've got a long night of action ahead, we'll check back in on this match after our first OFFICIAL bout, and should the match conclude at any point in between, we'll be sure to show you LIVE who's winning!

LN: For now, we've got our opening bout of the night, sure to electrify everyone! It's the BATTLE ROYALE to determine who'll have the right to compete in the final NEW Unified World Heavyweight Championship bout that'll serve as the main event!

MI: Well, folks, we understand that the Ares/Wicked Clown match is still storming all across the arena! Let's head to the back!

(Cut into the back, where we see Ares is slamming Wicked Clown into a urinal.)

LN: AH, an NEW staple, the bathroom brawl!

(Ares flushes the urinal on Clown's head, as the fans laugh loudly.)

MI: These people are being treated to an old fashioned, NEW BRAWL!

LN: The last one ever!

(Ares pulls CLown's head out of the water, and then whips him, sending him headfirst into a mirror hanging on the wall.)

MI: OH MY GOD!

LN: Now, Ares is scooping up armfuls of the glass....He's spreading them out over the floor!

MI: Ares now has grabbed Clown around the head, he slaps him a couple of times, and then leg scissors his head!

LN: Well, I think I know what he's got in mind here...

(Ares goes to lift up WC, but Clown wraps his arm around his leg, blocking. Clown then brings his head up, HARD, into Ares crotch.)

MI: Ares doubles over!

(Clown tucks his leg over Ares's head, then leaps up into the air, coming down into the pile of glass.)

LN: MODIFIED HALO DROP!!

MI: HALO DROP INTO THE GLASS COVERED FLOOR!!

LN: Clown has covered and referee Peepee Anderson counts...

FANS: ONE! TWO!

MI: KICKOUT!! ARES ESCAPES!!

(The two men crawl across the floor, out of the bathroom, heading for parts unknown.)

LN: Well, folks, we'll check back with them in a little while, but in the meantime, folks, we've got a HUGE undercard bout for you!

MI: Larry, what better match is there to call for this show then this next one?

LN: We had the privilege a while back on the third day of The Wrestle Cruise to call that brutal hard hitting affair between the Armageddon and the Draw. This time though, it’s best of three falls, so God only knows how long this one will take to finish.

MI: Well the history is there, no doubt about it, and I am sure you know it all. This is the fourth meeting in the United States between these two men, and not once has Jade Diamond been able to beat John Bay. This is guaranteed to be a classic match! It’s Bay/Diamond IV, and here we go!

LN: Well, we've got some UNFINISHED BUSINESS to take care of! Let's head to the back and see what those nutty former Highway 666 stablemates are up to, shall we?

(We see Ares standing over top of Clown, with a wrench in his hand.)

LN: Well, it appears as if they've made their way into the boiler room!

MI: Jesus Christ, Ares brings the wrench down right on Clown's head!

LN: He might've just crushed his skull in!

(Ares throws the wrench down, then yanks up Clown by his hair and sends him facefirst into the wall.)

MI: Well, Clown's head has left an ENORMOUS bloody streak on the wall!

LN: He falls to the ground now, and he's just pulled up himself onto his haunches!

MI: Ares goes to kick him in the head, but Clown falls to the side! Ares kicks the wall instead!

(Ares crashes into the wall, falling to the ground.)

LN: Jesus, he might've just broken his ankle on that!

MI: Now Clown has climbed on top of Ares!

LN: He's biting and punching and pinching him!

MI: This isn't a wrestling match, not even a death match!

LN: Then what is it?

MI: A FIGHT.

LN: Folks, we've gotta take a break and get into our next regularly scheduled match, but we'll keep you posted on this match, for sure!

MI: Let's head to the arena for the WARGAMES ELIMINATION MATCH!

(Grant holds his NEW title high one final time, and then steps between the ropes. Mason heads down the aisle with him.)

MI: Well, fans are beginning to clear out, people, this was a great night, but now it's come to an end.

LN: Damn...I'm getting teary.

MI: Well, if the NEW has been dead since May, then we finally gave it its last rites and put it to sleep here tonight.

LN: On behalf of Steve Reaves, Nick Reaves, Des Stohler, Russel Karr, Ben Gebhart, Jason Bagwell, Brian Marcotte, Steve Grant, AJ Huffman, Danny Ashe, Nick Ares, and anyone else who has run this place in the past, on behalf of Peepee Anderson, Michael Buttbuffer, and Stonecold, on behalf of all the announcers, road agents, bookers, wrestlers, and of course, on behalf of Mike Ixnay, this is Larry Nabisco...signing off.

(And suddenly, there's a crash!)

MI: What the...

(Through the entrance way explodes a dark black station wagon.)

LN: What the fuck is going on!?

(The car rips down the aisle, and crashes into the front row, sending chairs and guard railing sections flying everywhere.)

MI: Holy shit....

(The front door swings open, revealing...)

LN: WICKED CLOWN!

(The now-empty front rows begin to fill up once again, as Clown stalks around to the side of the car, opening up the back door and pulling a bruised, bleeding Franchise out of the back...)

MI: Jesus Christ, folks, Ares' hands have been duct taped together! Clown has pulled him around to the front of the car!

FANS: ARES! ARES! ARES!

LN: These people are cheering on their Franchise, but he doesn't look too good right now!

MI: No one even REMEMBERED this match was taking place, but here they are!

(Referee Peepee Anderson shrugs, and pulls his ref's stripes back on.)

LN: Peepee was ready to call it a night!

MI: I wonder what happened to the ref Clown brought with him at the top of the show?

LN: Rape, probably.

MI: Folks, we've got one last match to go!

LN: They've been fighting all night long, brawling all over the city, but now, Clown apparently wanted to finish this the right way...IN THE RING!

MI: Well, Clown is dragging Ares over to the railing, and he just tosses him over into the ringside area!

LN: Now Clown is stalking back to the station wagon, he's pulling out all sorts of toys!

(Clown extracts a pair of pliers, a box of nails, several hammers, and begins tossing them towards the ring randomly. He goes back in, pulling out a coil of barbed wire, a shovel, and finally...)

MI: A BLACK BAG!

(Clown walks around to the front of the car, opening up the bag, and sprinkling the contents all over the hood of the car...)

LN: TACKS!

(Clown laughs, and then throws the shovel towards the ring, followed by the barbed wire. He then heads for the railing.)

MI: Fans have jumped the railing, they're running around ringside, and security is trying to get this under control!

LN: Wicked Clown hops the railing, but there's Ares!

(The Franchise catches him off-guard, tackling Clown to the ground.)

MI: Ares managed to work his hands free on a jagged piece of the railing, I think!

LN: He's free, and now he's using those hands to work over Clown!

MI: Ares is punching away, and now, oh shit, he's spotted the pliers!

(Like a beacon of light in the dead of night, the pliers stare right at him, calling him.)

(Ares wraps his little fingers around them, calmly walks over to Clown.)

(And stabs him in the head.)

LN: FUCK!

MI: Ares just jammed the pliers into Clown's skull, who is screaming in agony!

(A geyser opens.)

(Clown's blood spurts all over Ares' face. The Franchise laughs, first to himself, and then out loud.)

(He throws the pliers into the ring, and then goes about the work of opening up the cut.)

LN: Ares is digging his fingers into the cut, just pulling the wound open!

MI: Clown is still screaming, and now Ares begins to punch away at the cut!

LN: Clown is trying to crawl away, but Ares locks him in a chinlock, and then commences punching away at his wounds!

MI: Ares is a changed man tonight! He's not the Franchise, this is the Ares who threw GRENDEL off of Niagra Falls!

LN: The Highway members seem to bring this side out in Ares...

(But Ares can't hear them. He's listening to Clown's screams. He smiles wider.)

(Ares delivers a thundering forearm which shatters Clown's nose, bringing forth more blood.)

(His taped wrists are covered with Clown's plasma.)

(DNA.)

(Liquid.)

(When you've been doing this as long as Ares, you tend to take a clinical approach to it all.)

MI: Clown is trying to get away from Ares again, and Ares just grabs a handful of his hair!

LN: He SLAPS Clown in the chest!

MI: Now, he's rolled him into the ring!

LN: Ares in after him, and he's grabbed that shovel!

(Ares stands with the shovel in hand, listening to the cheers of the fans.)

(He stalks over, raising it above his head.)

MI: SHIT!

(Clown leaps up out of nowhere, jamming the pair of pliers into Ares' face.)

LN: JESUS!

(Ares screams, falls to the ground, and then Clown grabs the shovel.)

(Once.)

(Twice.)

(Three times, he slams it into Ares' head.)

(It is the Franchise's turn to bleed, now.)

MI: Ares is bleeding like a stuck pig all over the ring, and now Clown has wedged the shovel in between the middle and top rope!

(Clown grabs Ares, lifting him up, and then irish whips him towards the corner.)

(Ares crashes backfirst into the shovel, rebounds, and flies over the top rope.)

(His body flops onto the outside of the ring like a limp fish.)

LN: Clown now is charging...

(Clown somersaults, colliding with Ares on the outside of the ring.)

MI: JESUS! Clown with the tope con hilo onto Ares on the outside, and now look!

LN: Clown is dragging Ares over towards the station wagon again!

(Clown begins shoving fans out of the way. Security has managed to corral most of the fans, shoving them back from the ringside area, however, a few hover near the car.)

(Clown rolls Ares up onto the hood.)

MI: Clown now has Ares in a standing head scissors, and he's motioning to the crowd!

(Wicked Clown flips Ares up for a powerbomb, but something goes wrong.)

(The fans scream, as Ares flips out of his arms, spinning in mid-air and bringing his leg up to smack Clown in the back of the head.)

(The crash is deafening.)

LN: FUCK! FUCK!

MI: ARES TURNS THE POWERBOMB INTO A SHINING ENZIGOURI!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!

(Clown is driven down facefirst into the tacks piled high on the car hood.)

(He screams in agony, coming up, face bleeding, tacks sticking to his eyelids, lips, nose, chin, forehead.)

(Blood flows like water.)

LN: WICKED CLOWN IS DEAD!!!

MI: Now Ares has rolled Clown onto the roof of the car!

(Ares sets up Clown for a northern lights suplex, but lifts him over his head instead...)

LN: MARS DDT! MARS DDT ONTO THE ROOF OF THE CAR!

(Clown bounces on the impact, falling off the side of the roof and falling into the crowd.)

MI: CLOWN IS BLEEDING ALL OVER THE FRONT ROW OF FANS!!

(Ares hops off the side, pulling up Clown, and then sending him headfirst through a side window of the car.)

LN: SHIT! CLOWN GOES FACEFIRST INTO THE GLASS!!

(Ares, cold and methodical and calculating, pulls Clown's face back, but he doesn't expect this...)

MI: HOLY SHIT.

LN: CLOWN DIGS A PIECE OF GLASS INTO ARES' SHOULDER!!

(The Wicked Clown, the sickest individual in wrestling history, clutches a piece of shattered glass in hand, and drives it into Ares' shoulder.)

(Once. Twice.)

(Three times.)

MI: HOLY SHIT! ARES IS BLEEDING ALL OVER THE PLACE!!

LN: Clown now lariats Ares, and the Franchise tumbles over the railing!

(Clown grabs a chair, and hurtles it at Ares, slamming into his skull, sending him back to the ground.)

(Clown then grabs the pieces of broken glass from ringside, and kicks over a section of the railing. He begins throwing the pieces of glass into the ring.)

MI: Clown looks like he's preparing to MURDER Ares...

LN: Now, Clown has ripped up the railing, that section he kicked over!

(Wicked Clown slides the railing into the ring, and then grabs Ares, rolling him into the ring.)

MI: I don't even WANT to know what Clown is thinking...

LN: He's grabbed Ares, shoving him into the corner, and now Clown CHOPS!

(Clown stalks over, spreading the glass around the ring mat with his foot.)

MI: Those shards of glass are ripping up the mat! Wicked Clown is destroying the NEW ring!

(He lifts up the section of the railing and drops it on top of the glass.)

LN: Clown's just stacking up the goods...nails, that barbed wire!

MI: He's going to finish off his former stablemate, I think, once and for all!

(Clown, his work finished, turns towards Ares...)

(...and walks directly into a Hate Kick.)

LN: HATE KICK! HATE KICK LEVELS CLOWN!!

MI: Now, Ares has lifted him up, he's going to try for the Mars DDT again...

(Ares lifts up Clown, but he manages to duck out of it, rolling behind Ares and rolling him up into a ball!)

FANS: ONE! TWO!

MI: KICKOUT! ARES KICKS OUT OF THE ROLL UP ATTEMPT!!

(Clown begins to rise, but is met by a THUNDERING kick to the face by Ares.)

LN: HOLY SHIT!

(Ares then grabs Clown, tosses him into the bottom turnbuckle so that he's facing the turnbuckle, backs up, charges...)

MI: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

(Ares simply curbstomps Clown in the back of the skull, resulting in a sickening thud.)

LN: JESUS CHRIST!

(Clown's teeth are broken, he's bleeding openly.)

(Ares grabs him by the hair, and tosses him directly into the center of the ring.)

(He grabs his arms and pulls them around back, as if going for a surfboard.)

(But rather than lock him into the hold, Ares simply hops into the air, and brings his foot down on Clown's skull.)

MI: CURBSTOMP! CURBSTOMP!

LN: CLOWN IS BRAIN DEAD!!

(Clown is dazed. He manages to lift himself up onto his knees, but Ares lifts him the rest of the way...)

MI: ARES HAS HIM UP...

LN: RUNNING MARS DDT!! MARS DDT RIGHT INTO THE PILE OF NAILS, BARBED WIRE, THE GUARD RAILING SECTION!!!

(Clown is brought down headfirst into the railing.)

(Nails stick to his head.)

(Barbed wire clings to his flesh.)

(Blood flows like water.)

MI: ARES COVERS!!

FANS: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!

("Fallen" by hed (pe) hits, and the fans explode.)

FANS: AREEEESS! ARREEEEEES! ARRREEEEEEESS!!!

(Ares rolls off of Clown, as we see medics rush the ring. Ares rolls out of the ring, not believing what he's done.)

LN: Well, the Franchise defeats Wicked Clown at his own game!

MI: Ares wins the Highway 666 Death Match, and proves that he is STILL...the Franchise.

(Ares stumbles up the aisleway, towards the entrance, and we see Steve Grant step out from the curtain, joined by his trainee, Antonio Mason. Both Mason and Grant begin to applaud Ares.)

LN: These fans are joining Grant and Mason in cheering on Ares!

(Grant and Ares embrace, Grant with the NEW title on his shoulder.)

MI: Fans, we hope we've made a few final memories here in Little Rock.

LN: NEW is dead, but its legacy lives on, in places like Destructo Championship Wrestling, in Pro Wrestling KING, in Pro Wrestling Majestic.

MI: Aren't you a manager for that company?

LN: Oh, I'm something all right.

MI: You sure are.

LN: Folks, for all of us here at New Era Wrestling, New Extreme Wrestling, I want to thank you for tuning in one last time.

MI: Thank you, and drive safely.

LN: For Mike Ixnay, this is Larry Nabisco...signing off.

(Grant raises Ares' hand into the air, the final bastion of the old guard.)

(Then?)

(We simply fade to black.)

(Forever.)