Musings of A Crazy Woman
It is when I
Simply can’t stand
The memories anymore
That I know for sure
How much I love you
I just can’t take the missing you
I need to hear your voice
What I wouldn’t give to
Look into your eyes again
Kiss your lips
Hug you close
And forget about tomorrow
Shit, forget about today
The tears don’t come
My missing you is quiet
Just above silent
A whisper in the midst of a hurricane
Somewhere it is raining
But I am in the eye
And all I can see
Is in a sphere
That fits around me in a hug
Shadows of your love haunt me
Like the spirits of the
Dearly departed
I can hear the wailing voices
Mingled in with the wind
But I press on
As the storm parts all around me
Paparazzi
Flashes of light
Snapshots of time gone by
I don’t look directly into them
For they are the sun
I can feel them
Catch glances out of
The corners of my eyes
Or through the shade of my fingers
But still they hit me
Bullets from a gun
The shells hit the ground
Empty remnants of what once was
The hollow ping is sharp
Against the dull roar of life
Whirling all around me outside of my bubble
How do you get over missing someone
You can’t forget
Knowing that they’re out there
In the storm
And you can’t save them cause
You don’t know where they are
Can’t see them in the rain
Can’t hear them in the wind
Can’t feel them in the calm
Can’t sleep them away cause
They crawl into your dreams like roaches
When the lights go out
But when you open your eyes
All you have is empty traps
And you’re running out of bait
As your sanity waves in the breeze
The white flag of surrender
But still
No help comes
Only the dull roar of day to day
Activity
No one seams to notice how much it hurts
To have no way out
They call you names and offer suggestions
But still
No help comes
Solitude is lonely when
All you really want is to
Have someone to call and say
Hello
But if you tell them they
Won’t understand you
Don’t want to get over it
You want him
And tofu just isn’t a substitute
For ice cream
They are different and
Not the same
But no one understands or
Has the time to put up with
A whinny cynic with too much
Time on her hands and
A tendency to make pillows
In times of apathy
Nobody wants to hear the
Musings of a crazy woman
Unless you call it poetry
So here you blood-thirsty hounds
Probing at me with
Flyers and cameras and
Endless questions
I offer you poetry
Though you feed me swine
And I proclaim that I will not dine
Until I am fed the
Fruits of Eden and the
Waters of eternity
Dammit I am royalty
Why can’t you see that
Like he did
Why must you call me by
Some other name and
Expect me to answer
You are voices in the wind
And I am above the crowd
But oh how I wish for a
Bigger bubble
Filled with the sound of laughter
And clever conversation
Expletives of ecstasy deep into the night
Roaring from throats in
Cries of battle
As phallic symbols
Pierce the walls of stone temples
And glisten in the sun
As proud skin bathes in
Early morning sunshine
And meals are woven with the
Fabric of songs written in
Morning meditation
I am a living monument to the
Power of femininity
Washed by rain and dried in the wind
Loved from the inside and kissed by God
Over and over again
I miss things that few have ever even known
So I forgive you for not understanding
The pain of missing something
So beautiful that it
Can not be replaced
But don’t ask me who I am
Unless you’re prepared to deal with it
Cause I will look you
In the eye and tell you
I am from the lost and
Scattered tribe of Juda
I remember the sun
The feel of it
Through sheer and luxurious fabrics
As the wind kissed skin that
Had been rubbed with oils
And glistened in the solar rays
Champagne diamonds
Fresh from the mines
Where alabaster and limestone were collected
As gold, silver, and gemstones
Spilled out like pebbles or
Dust in the afternoon breeze
I remember fig wine so sweet
It appeased the tongue
Fruits that now have no name
Streets lined with merchants and
Quiet corners next to wading pools
Nestled in groves of fruit trees
Back when real lions roamed the earth
With dreadlocked manes and
Gentle footsteps
Before they had ever even tasted
The flesh of man and
Been tainted by his blood
When grasses
Not sand
Cushioned the pampered feet
Of the royalty of Kemet
When Solomon ruled
Days of glory and nights swollen with song
Drums of Africa beat by day and
Long into the night
And in the air the smell
Of incense floating like butterflies
Some things are too beautiful
To ever forget
So what do you do
When you want to go home but
Home hasn’t even existed
In millennia
Has fallen into legend
And no one even remembers
Your name
But I remember the touch of love
The taste sight smell of it
The way my eyes were reflected in yours
Like two mirrors across from each other
Alike but
Not the same
They call me a poet
Because words are all I have left to give
But you knew my name
Called it out in fits of passion
And knew that I am more than words
I am poetry
And you are more than songs
You are music
And we belong together
It is legend and
Not just musings
Of a crazy woman
by Empress Nzingha
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