She

Her eyes were like
Crystal balls
You just knew
They saw all
You felt as though
No matter where you were
She was watching over you
You just knew
She’d always be there
Never changing
Even though she grows older
On some level of existence
But you thought
She would be there
Until you didn’t
Need her anymore
Not really ever believing
You’d ever get there
And then
She was gone
Oh sure she’s somewhere
But it isn’t there
It’s almost like
You’re really alone now
Although you aren’t
Not fully alone yet
But without her
There’s an emptiness
That burns
Like acid reflux
And just the thought of
Looking down at her
Cold grey face
Makes you icy enough
To cool the burn
Just for a second
The whole world seams
Somehow out of balance
Askew terribly terribly slanted
I feel as though I may
Fall off into oblivion
With the emptiness filling
My insides
Maybe I have an ulcer
All these feelings eating
My stomach lining away
I wanna scream like an eagle
Soaring across the pale blue sky
Remembering when the world was young
You never know for sure
How long utopia may last
But you know it can’t last forever
Even though you still
Stretch your arms to see
How big the space is
The solitude of fresh air
Is crushing
Missing the comfort
Of knowing that somewhere
She is waiting
Like a broken utopias
Waiting for your puzzle piece
Sealed in time and yet
Bursting with eternity sauce
Simply marinating until
It’s let go
Waiting to go home
Waiting for her job to be done
It crept up on me
Until finally I was ready
But I didn’t know
And I want her back
I can’t feel my feet
I want to fly again
With her voice
Piloting the way
May the stars receive her
With all the love she
Left behind
May God give her a medal
For excellence in her field
And may the red carpet
Lead her all the way home

by Empress Nzingha

For Esther V. Moorhead
May she rest in peace

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