| FUNNY QUOTES! |
| "There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." -Jerry Seinfeld "If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully throughout the entire catalog." -Sears Catalog "My Karma ran over my Dogma." -Bumper Sticker "Raising kids is like getting pecked to death by ducks." -Sticker "It's bad enough having no immune system, but having to wear this giant cabbage on my head is too much." -"The Boy in the Plastic Bubble" "Is it just me, or does the jungle make you really, really horny?" -"Anaconda" "Louise was feeling good until you gave her that poison." -"Strange Shadows in an Empty Room" "When I'm sitting with you, I don't even think about the slime people." -"The Slime People "Listen, there's a girl out there who might be running for her life from some gigantic turned on ape!" -"King Kong" "You used your own grandaughter to give birth to a race of army elves?!" -"Elves" "We hate these. They degrade women and beavers." -"Striptease" "You're moving like a deeply offended Tibetan Yak!" -"The Legend of Lylah Clare" "You will be welcome in Zukuru! The headman's locust bean cakes; they'll be your locust bean cakes! His fermented buffalo milk will be your fermented buffalo milk!" -"Sheena" "Keep your silicon, I prefer my own." -India.Arie "Boy bands are a trend, but the circulatory system is forever." -Larry Tudgeman, "Lizzie McGuire" "In case of accidents, he always took his mom." -The Beatles, "Bungalow Bill" "I'm thuper, thankth for athking!" -South Park "Easy there Mr Testosterone. You can easily be replaced by a zuchini." -Button "Ran into my ex... put it in reverse and hit him again!" -Button "Please god... no more blonde teenage singers..." -Button "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we?" -Button "Drink coffee; do stupid things faster with more energy!" -Button "It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken." -Button "You're not famous until they put your head on a PEZ dispenser." -Button "Suppose I grow up to be one of the world's greatest men of all time. Suppose my name will be an inspiration to humanity for eons to come! What will the history books say? They'll say, 'Much of his childhood was spent unwillingly in the bathtub.'" -Calvin & Hobbes "I've sort of ruined the concept of black nail polish by putting sparklies on top." -Marly Folger "It's a little childish and stupid, but then again, so is high school." -"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" "When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all." -Paul Simon, "Kodachrome" "I wish that for just one time, you could stand inside my shoes, and just for that one moment, I could be you. Yes, I wish that for just one time, you could stand inside my shoes; you'd know what a drag it is to see you." -Bob Dylan, "Positively 4th Street" "Life just happens. And then the credits." -Anonymous "Your love is like a giant pidgeon... crapping on my heart." -Phoebe Buffay, "Friends" "Don't forget the origin of 'assistant'. It's Latin for 'ass' of an 'ant'." -Jack, "Will & Grace" "Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat." -"Notting Hill" "Eagles may soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines." -Proverb "I love mankind. It's people I can't stand." -"Linus", Peanuts "This is more fun than talking dirty to my Furby!" -"Shear Madness" "And the people smiled, and God got its freak on." -Zoe Tillman "I don't want to be a pie. I don't like gravy!" -"Chicken Run" "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the war room!" -"Dr. Strangelove" |
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