Disclaimers: Gundam Wing belongs not to me. Nor does the song "One by One,"
which so happens to belong to Enya.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: 1+2, 1+R
Warnings: Songfic, shounen ai, a smidgen of angst, and 1+R (ewww!)
Comments: I'll admit, I like to listen to Enya for meditational purposes. It's pretty
music, and very relaxing. I personally do not prefer songfics, never have done one before,
but then this song came along, screaming, "Heero! Relena! Duuuuuuo!" and what's
a girl to do?
Key:
'thoughts'
\song lyrics\
Don't Say Adios
Prologue
Duo bounced happily along the street, arm in arm with the silent
Japanese boy who had won his heart. 'Not that he tried hard to earn it, but he got it
anyway,' he thought cheerfully. Ever since the end of the war, things had changed
significantly. Not only had he managed to get Heero to open up to him, Heero was actually
agreeing to certain public displays of affection. Duo could hold his hand, call him
"koi", and even give him a kiss on the cheek.
The young American saw a shop that caught his interest. Heero raised an
eyebrow at the cats lounging all over the furniture in the clothing store. Heero's only
fault, in Duo's mind, was that he was a dog person, whereas Duo preferred cats.
"I'll go get a coffee. Meet me when you're finished." Heero
gestured to a small cafe nearby. Duo nodded enthusiastically and stood on his tip-toes, as
Heero was now a good five inches taller than himself.
"Adios, Duo-kun," Heero said softly, and kissed Duo lightly
on the forehead. Duo lived for the moments when Heero would speak tenderly to him, and
Heero's goodbyes were always tender and exactly the same: "Adios, Duo-kun" and a
kiss on the forehead. It made his heart swell just thinking of it. Duo blew Heero a kiss
and sashayed into the small boutique.
Oo-~~~-oO
Duo was awakened rudely by the shrill ring of Heero's cell phone. The
warm arms that rested around his waist slipped away, and the long, lithe body behind him
arose from the bed, being very careful to make the minimal amount of noise while hurrying
to answer the offending phone. Duo was too exhausted to even turn over to watch Heero as
he spoke. He listened to the one side of the conversation he could hear.
"Moshi moshi?. ... I see. ... Aa. ... I will leave immediately.
... All I want to have is my clothing. ... No, nothing else. ... Aa."
Duo almost chuckled. Heero didn't even say goodbye on the phone. 'Talk
about terse.' He heard Heero shuffling around the room behind him, opening and closing
drawers. 'Mission. Damn. No cuddling this morning.'
He rolled over onto his back, his eyes still closed. Heero finished
what sounded like putting his entire wardrobe - not that extensive, but consisting almost
completely of spandex and tank tops - into his suitcase. He hauled the suitcase over to
the door. Footsteps trailed cautiously to the bedside. Duo waited, but Heero stood
silently. Just as he was about to open his eyes, Heero whispered softly.
"Adios... Duo-kun..." Duo expected the kiss to come, but
heard only the hushed opening and closing of the bedroom door. He could not help but
wonder at the finality in Heero's tone as he said goodbye.
Oo-~~~-oO
Duo drank his coffee and gazed at the cabinets on the wall. It had been
a month since Heero had left, and Duo had heard nothing from him. Not that Duo was
expecting Heero to call every time he was gone, not so early in the relationship, but he
would have appreciated some kind of notice that Heero was alive and well.
Quatre and Trowa were cuddled up together on the couch, watching
television. It seemed to be the Saturday morning cartoons, but Trowa was flipping casually
through the channels. Something caught Duo's eye.
"Go back two channels, Tro." Trowa obliged, and Duo's heart
tightened as much as his eyes widened. He stepped haltingly towards the television.
Relena Peacecraft was leaving an opera house after a local company had
put on an opera dedicated to the founding of peace in the colonies. Heero was escorting
her. He had his arm interlocked with hers, and she was speaking to him, the familiar gleam
of possessiveness in her eyes.
"Prime Minister Relena Peacecraft and her escort, and possible
fiance, Heero Yuy were among the notables to attend this fabulous opera..." the
newscaster droned on. Duo's eyes followed Heero and Relena until they disappeared from the
screen and the newscaster switched to a different news story.
"All this time... He wasn't on a mission... He was with
*her*..." Duo did not realize he was speaking aloud until Quatre had raised his hand
to him, a concerned look on his fresh, young face.
"Duo, are you all right?" Duo forced a laugh, trying to act
normally.
"Of course I'm okay, Q! Why wouldn't I be?" He tried to
appear cheerful and casually set his mug down on the table to his right. The only problem
lay in the fact that the table was to his left. Quatre and Trowa exchanged glances as the
mug clattered to the floor, splattering coffee all over the floor. They then looked once
more at Duo. Duo sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands.
One by One
He faced the woman with whom he had slept for the past half-year. She
had changed much from the idealistic teenager she had been during the war. She had
matured, and her childish obsession with him had blossomed into love. The refrain of her
love had been much repeated, to be met with a non-verbal tenderness from him.
\Here am I
Yet another goodbye
He says Adios, says Adios
And do you know why
She won't break down and cry?
She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye\
"Heero?" Relena spoke softly and tentatively, as if she
realized that something in the room was about to break. He took her hands into his own,
looking down into her large, blue-lavender eyes that seemed like a diluted version of
another, very different set of eyes.
"Relena. I love you." Her eyes widened, love and surprise
flooding her eyes with pure blue, washing away the hint of lavender. "But not like
that."
She blinked as the implications of those words sank to the pit of her
stomach. Her head was lowered, but to her credit, no tears came.
"Believe me when I say that I must leave. I do love you, but the
restrictions were too strong. I cannot be the man you need. You and I must find our paths
to true love, but they cannot be the same path."
She looked up at him, pain clearly scrawled on her face. But she nodded
and kept the tears back.
"Adios, Relena."
"Adios, Heero..."
Oo-~ Six months before ~-oO
Heero paged through the magazine, well aware that Relena sat across
from him, her eyes never straying from his face. He knew what she wanted. He feared that
she would pursue him to the ends of the earth, never resting until he gave her the key to
his heart. She had said in no uncertain terms that she loved him, and that she knew the
emotion must be returned somewhere inside him. Heero did not know whether or not this was
true, but he could not help but think of the sleeping face of the one he had left behind.
He looked up, directly into her eyes. She did not flinch or tear her
gaze away. He stood up as he watched resolve form in her eyes.
"Heero, will you, um," Relena faltered, then her resolve
hardened. "Will you come to bed with me tonight?"
Heero's conciousness was sent back to a conversation with Dorothy
Catalonia only a few days before.
/"Heero," she had said. "Relena loves you. She has since
she met you. She may seem strong, but she has a fragile heart. You *must* protect it. She
alone clasps the ribbons holding together the tremulous peace. She needs the one she loves
to support her. You must give her your love."
"And if there's someone else?" Heero asked coolly.
"Duo does not need you the way Relena does." Heero started to
protest, startled by Dorothy's knowledge of his private life, but Dorothy continued.
"It would not be worthy of a soldier to ignore a mission of great importance in favor
of a mission he may find more enjoyable. Please Heero, just six months; you need only stay
for six months."
That struck a nerve. The training in Heero responded; one can take the
soldier out of the military, but one cannot take the military out of the soldier. Heero
took a deep breath.
"Ninmu ryoukai," he breathed, closing his eyes. Dorothy bowed
her head in gratitude./
Brought back to the moment, Heero looked at Relena. There was hope in
her eyes, but an empty hope. She did not believe that Heero would agree. Just as she was
about to turn away, discouraged by his lack of response, he spoke.
"Okay." She whirled around, shocked.
"Really?" Relena's eyes brimmed with tears. The Japanese
boy's stomach twisted with discomfort and regret, but he nodded. "Does this mean you
love me? You really love me?"
Heero only leaned forward and kissed her.
Oo-~~~-oO
Heero's hand ached with the need to run his fingers through the long
rope of mahogany colored hair, as he did every night. He had to forcefully remind himself
that the hair he would be touching was certainly not Duo's.
\One by one, my leaves fall
One by one, my tales are told\
He felt sullied, even just sleeping in the same bed with someone with
whom he was not in love, someone with whom he would never be in love. More than ever, he
wished that he could be lying close with Duo, that he could tell his precious one that he
loved him. As he lay instead with Relena, he felt regret sting him deeply, berating him
for never having told the braided pilot of his love. He had thought that he would have the
rest of his life to tell Duo. 'Only six months...'
Relena stirred in his arms, smiled softly, and mumbled an "I love
you." Heero had not slept, and would not for the rest of the night.
Oo-~~~-oO
\It's no lie
She was yearning to fly
She says Adios, says Adios
And now you know why
He's a reason to sigh
She says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye\
Relena looked as though she were walking on clouds, rather than solid,
unromantic cement. At moments when she showed such pure joy, Heero did not regret making
the decision he had.
"Heero, will you hold my hand?" She smiled beatifically as
she asked. He felt himself smile in return.
"Aa." Her hand was warm and soft in his. If possible, she
looked even more elated. She had said that she lived for the moments when Heero spoke
tenderly to her.
The bond between the two grew in intricacy quickly, if not in strength.
It had been two months since that first night, and still Relena was reluctant to ask him
to hold her hand. The shy, reluctant modesty was a very different approach from the
teasing, coaxing pressure that had been the first to breach his defenses and eventually
win him over, body, heart, and soul.
It seemed almost unfair. Both Relena and Duo had loved him from day
one, but it had taken the beautiful young man months of constant badgering to even get
Heero to carry on a conversation with him, whereas Heero had admitted Relena to his bed
within a week of their reunion.
Although Duo had tried not to let it show, he believed that Heero could
and would leave at any given moment. This insecurity did not show in his eyes, in his
stance, or even in his kiss, but in his love-making there was a certain desperation that
belied his front of self-composure. Even in her modesty, Relena seemed confident that
Heero was a concrete part of her life.
Heero supposed that he did feel tenderness towards Relena. He certainly
was guaranteed to stay with her for another four months, but Duo had always known that
Heero could leave in the middle of the night and never come back. The mission to warm
Relena's heart had begun as exactly that: a mission. Lately, though, Heero had found that
he enjoyed Relena's company, and even sought it out occasionally. He shook his head in
wonder as they walked back towards her residence.
Oo-~~~-oO
\One by one, my leaves fall
One by one, my tales are told\
Relena's eyes widened as she stared at Heero's now cold and
expressionless face. She knew she had gone too far. She had known better than to speak of
the pilot known as Duo Maxwell. Early in Heero's stay with her, she had mentioned the
braided boy and had watched as Heero distanced himself from her. She had assumed that the
two had had a falling out of sorts and Heero was still angry about it.
She looked down at the photographs she held in her hand. In the top
photograph, a very surprised Heero held an obviously freshly-caught Duo Maxwell, who was
laughing and had his arms slung around Heero's neck. The middle picture showed Heero
sitting on a park bench, an abandoned book in his lap, with Duo standing behind him,
draping himself around Heero's shoulders. It seemed to be the only picture in which the
subjects had actually known that they were to be photographed. The final photograph was of
Duo only. The American lay sleeping on his side on a bed of white sheets, his hair unbound
and fanned about him, strands spilling across his body and off the sides of the bed. He
was nude, but his leg was drawn up to cover himself, as if he were modest even in sleep.
The photos were worn around the corners, but the centers of the picture were immaculate,
as if they had been treated with reverence.
She glanced up at Heero, who watched her warily. His left fist twitched
and she read him well enough to know that he wanted to take the pictures back, but was
restraining himself. She cleared her throat.
"I didn't know that you and Duo," she stumbled over the name.
"I didn't know you two were so... close." He tilted his head back, appraising
her down his nose. Her initial shock had begun to wear off, and anger and more than a
little jealousy crept into her heart. She had always envied the closeness and casualness
Duo afforded with Heero, but now that she had that as well, her jealousy was stronger than
she had thought.
"Are you still so close?" she asked the question to which she
least wanted to hear the answer.
"That is not your concern," Heero said succinctly.
"I would say it is, considering you are currently sleeping with
*me*!"
"Then, no, we are not. I have not seen him since I came to stay
with you." If Relena had known him any less well, she would not have been able to
detect the bitterness and longing in his voice. She stepped forward, dropping the
photographs onto the bed in the same motion. Her hand placed itself tentatively on his
chest. She looked up into his eyes, pleading silently.
"Give me all of yourself, Heero. Let me safeguard your heart. All
of it." He looked at her, unhappiness clearly etched in his face. Her video-phone
rang.
"Damn," she cursed in a very unlady-like manner. She left the
room and entered her office to answer the shrilling phone.
Heero stood for a moment, gazing at the space she had occupied. He
turned to the photographs lying on the bed. He gently picked them up. Clutching them to
his chest, he fell to the bed, his eyes squeezed shut. 'Just two more months...'
\My oh my
She was aiming to high
He says Adios, says Adios
And now you know why
There's no moon in her sky
He says Adios, says Adios, Goodbye\
Oo-~ Present ~-oO
Duo was working in the small garden. He weeded the carrot section and
watered the pea plants. It was satisfying work, a good task he had undertaken only four
months before.
He wiped his brow with the back of his hand and arm. He looked up to
see a lanky figure leaning in the frame of the back door of the house. Duo stood warily,
putting all his weight on one leg. The boy in the tank top advanced and stood nearby. He
began to speak.
The braided boy listened, ducking his head and fiddling with the end of
his braid. The taller boy finished his small speech and held out one hand. The other
reluctantly put his own into the longer hand. Heero took the hand and curled it against
his chest. Duo began to speak as well. The Japanese boy nodded, looked to the side, but
eventually he looked the other boy directly in the eyes. Deliberately, he raised the
captive hand and kissed it. Duo collapsed against his chest and looked up at the pilot who
held him tightly. Heero kissed him on the forehead. Duo smiled tenderly, and he laughed
for the first time in six months.
\No goodbyes
For love brightens their eyes
Don't say Adios, say Adios
And do you know why
There's a love that won't die?
Don't say Adios, say Adios, Goodbye.\
Oo-~ Owari ~-oO
Author's notes: I was feeling sappy and corny. My sincere apologies. Write to me anyway,
please! It's PeachCerise@aol.com! --Kitsune-chan