Duo: Trowa, his eyes still locked on the ethereal figure across the room from him, moved across the dance floor towards the boy. Halfway across the dance floor, he instinctively threw his hand up. When he looked at what he held in his hand, he beheld a small throwing knife. A few feet away, Catherine smiled coyly at him.

Catherine: "Why, my dear Prince Trowa! Fancy you catching that! It just slipped out of my hand! Oh! The music is starting! Would you like to dance?"

Duo: Trowa knew full well that it was bad manners to turn down a dance invitation. Casting a glance over at his quiet angel by the wall, he took Catherine into his arms and began a foxtrot. Quatre watched the man of his dreams dance with his stepsister. He closed his eyes, preferring to pretend that it wasn't happening.
    Meanwhile, Relena was trying to get Prince Heero's attention, who looked simply ravishing in his formal attire. [8]

Relena: "My lord, you now hold all of Egypt in your hands... And Egypt's ruler, the most beautiful woman in the world..."

Heero: {looks her up and down} "...."

Relena: "I know it's tempting, my lord, but we must wait until our marriage!"

Heero: {looks ill}

Relena: "We can escape to the Egypt of old, a thousand years before even the birth of Christ! We were true Egyptians! And you, Caesar, were my one, true lover back then! There was no other!"

Heero: {holds monotone} "Actually, Cleopatra lived in the first century BC. She was of Greek ethnicity and Caesar was Roman. Also, after Caesar's death, Cleopatra had a rampant affair with Mark Antony, which ended in marriage and double suicide."

Duo: So saying, he wandered off in search of something more interesting. Like a hairdryer or something. Relena stood, bewildered and awed by Heero's show of interest in the subject of Cleopatra.

Relena: "He knows all about me... He must love me enough to research me!" {swoons}

Duo: On the balcony...

Fairy Duo: "I can almost see... Ow! Shit! These thrice-damned heels!"

Duo: Unbeknownst to the fairy, Prince Heero had heard the commotion on the balcony. He went to inspect who the attempted intruder was.
    He turned the corner quickly and pointed his gun at the fairy. He looked at the Flamenco dress, the black gloves, the stilettos, and the eye mask. He ignored the Mickey Mouse ears completely.

Fairy Duo: {stares at Heero, enchanted}

Heero: {stares meaningfully at Fairy Duo}

Fairy Duo: {stares meaningfully at Heero}

Heero: {grabs Fairy Duo and runs into a nearby bush}

Duo: {coughs} Eheh, *back* to Quatre! Prince Trowa finished his dance with Catherine, and made his way decidedly to Quatre.

Trowa: {bows to Quatre} "Would you do the honor of joining me on the balcony?"

Quatre: {nods shyly} "I-I would be delighted..."

Duo: And so they went to the, uh, almost quiet balcony.

Nearby bush: Rustle rustle rustle *RUSTLERUSTLERUSTLERUSTLE!!!*

Quatre and Trowa: {stare at bush, sweatdropping}

Quatre: "... Perhaps you could show me the gardens instead..."

Duo: And so they strolled through the peaceful gardens, making small talk. Back in the ballroom...

Wufei: "Prince Heero has been gone an awfully long time. Perhaps I should go check up on him..."

Duo: And so he did. He swept out to the balcony.

Nearby bush: Russstle russstle russssstle!

Wufei: {blinks} "What is wrong with that bush?"

Duo: He sealed his fate by pushing aside some of the branches of said bush. As he did, one black glove flew across his face. He removed it to see two very attractive young men in advanced stages of undress. Three pairs of eyes widened. The violet and cobalt ones met, made secret communication, and then focused on the darker pair. One long arm reached out and pulled the Chinese ambassador into the bush.

Wufei: "Stop... Mmm..."

Duo: In the garden, Quatre and Trowa were having a deep, passionate talk.

Trowa: {eyes fixed down the front of Quatre's bodice} "......"

Quatre: {titters with courtly laughter} "You are such a charmer, Prince Trowa!"

Duo: Just then, the clock in the clock tower struck twelve.

Clock: "Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Hookah! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!"

Duo: Quatre quickly remembered his promise to return by twelve. He fled, accidentally losing one of his lovely bunny slippers in the process.

>>Quatre: 'Accidentally,' my ass...

Duo: Prince Trowa picked up the bunny slipper and looked off into the distance, wondering where his lovely angel had gone.
   
Trowa: {looks very much the elegant fairy-tale prince as he holds said bunny slipper aloft and gazes in the direction his soulmate had taken} "......."

Bunny Slipper: "*SQUEAK!!!!*"

Trowa: {goes flying in SD mode to crash in the background}

Duo: Meanwhile, I bet you guys were wondering what had happened to the other characters! Heero, in a brief break from his activities in the foliage, was ensnared by the waiting monster, Relena/Cleopatra. She had donned a simple white shift with a broad, ornate collar. She also wore a circlet with a snake's head. On top of that, she wore a pair of gold deely-boppers. Heero looked at her, almost tempted to laugh.

Relena: "My Caesar..."

Heero: {bolts like a frightened horse}

\Interlude

\Scene: Duo and Relena (both in full party attire) sit on a nondescript bench in a nondescript hall in a nondescript wing of the palace. Behind them is a window, displaying the midnight blue outside.

\Relena: {stares straight out, completely ignoring Duo who sits directly next to her, just stares}

\Duo: {also stares straight ahead, also for no particular reason}

\Relena: {deely-boppers start to sway, but Relena remains staring}

\Duo: {Mickey Mouse ears start vibrating, but Duo also remains staring absently}

\Relena: {deely-boppers pick up speed and measure of their arc, and brush against vibrating Mickey Mouse ears; they stop abruptly, still in contact with Mickey Mouse ears; still Relena gazes forward}

\Duo: {Mickey Mouse ears flap at deely-boppers, caressing them as a lover would}

\Duo and Relena: {immediately jump each other and start making out wildly}

\Heero: {pops up with a frying pan, promptly bops them both on the head, and then drags the unconscious Duo away by his braid}

\And so, the tragic love story of the deely-boppers and the Mickey Mouse ears comes to an end, as all good things must.\

>>Duo: o.O Sicko.

Trowa: {enters ballroom, clutching a fuzzy blue bunny slipper in his hand}

Heero: {stops in mid-bolt} "What's that?"

Trowa: "Bunny slipper. Going to find him. Be back by dinner."

Duo: So, to make a long story longer, we'll go into detail about the horrible ordeal it was for Prince Trowa to find his beloved Quatre.

Trowa: {looks on sole of bunny slipper}

Bunny Slipper's sole: PROPERTY OF QUATRE RABERBA WINNER, if found, please return to 4 Sandrock Lane, Intercourse, Pennsylvania. [9]

Duo: So Trowa commenced his long carriage ride to, um, Pennsylvania. He arrived at 4 Sandrock Lane, and knocked on the door. He entered the house and asked to see his angel from the ball.

Catherine: "It was I! It was I!"

Quatre: {looks on, hearts in his eyes as they roam over his love}

Trowa: {looks skeptically at Catherine} "I would like you to try this bunny slipper..."

Duo: Catherine tried it, but it slipped right off her dainty foot. She sighed gustily, accidentally spilling her lemonade with a gesture.

Catherine: "Quatre! Clean up this mess!"

Duo: Quatre nervously shuffled forward, and as he leaned to pick up the broken glass, his shirt gaped in front. Trowa got quite the eyeful.

Trowa: {one visible eye widens as he mutters} "I'd recognize that cleavage anywhere!"({sweatdrops} "Or lack thereof...")

Duo: Trowa instantly glomped Quatre in a very un-Trowa-like fashion. He swept the smaller boy off his feet and carried him back to his carriage, just as Relena and Lady Une came down the stairs to investigate the noise.

Lady Une: "Where are you going?!" {aura starts to flare ominously} "You cannot take that boy! He is not a legitimate heir! I'll... kill... you!

Relena: {pops Une some pills, and the older woman relaxes immediately}

Lady Une: "Why... That's very nice. You two have a nice trip! See you after the honeymoon!" {waves happily}

Relena: "Damned personality disorder! Why can't anyone in this house be normal for one goddamn minu- *MOOOO!*"

Duo: Relena was suddenly struck with a variation of Mad Cow Disease, and was further incapacitated for the rest of our story.

>>Everyone, including Relena: {sweatdrops}

>>Relena: Your ass is grass, Maxwell.

Duo: And in the carriage...

Trowa: "Quatre... I have something to ask you..."

Quatre: "Yes?" {looks sweetly at Trowa}

Trowa: "Will you... Will you marry me?"

Quatre: "Oh, Trowa. Yes! Yes, I will marry you!"

>>Kitsune-chan and Catherine: {dab their eyes with tissues} So sweet!

Kitsune-chan: And they lived happily ever after, bringing our sweet little fairy tale to an end! I would now like all our cast members to come out and take a bow!

(Relena, Catherine, and Lady Une come out and bow, then step back to give room for Quatre's chauffeur, the kitchen rats, and the Banana Man, all bow)

Kitsune-chan and Catherine: {cheer loudly for the Banana Man}

Kitsune-chan: Hey... Where are Duo, Heero, and Wufei?

{Rustling Bush runs out onto stage and bows, strumming a violin wildly)

{Duo, Heero, and Wufei clap loudly from off-stage, Duo making catcalls}

{Quatre and Trowa run out, holding hands and bow, smiling sweetly}

Kitsune-chan: {sweatdrops} Um... That concludes our show! Next time: "The G-boys Do Fraggle Rock!" and "Duchess Ravenwaves meets her match! Meet Lord Frayedbraid!" [10]

>>Duo: Hey, that sounds like fun!

>>Kitsune-chan: {nods} I think we can work something out with "Welcome Back Kotter" too.

>>Duo: Kwee!


Oo- Owari -oO


[1] By accident, I typed "His Royal Thighness" and I was about to erase it. Then my brother looked at what I had written and said, "It's a Freudian slip! It works! It works! SCORE!" I don't think I tell my brother I love him enough.
[2] The Han dynasty is a real Chinese dynasty. (I actually *learned* something in Bretzger's World History class!) However, this doesn't take place in Han Wu-ti's time period; this is an alternate universe. I just wanted to use the name.
[3] In case you didn't know, singing telegrams say stop after each line. My friend's dad is a singing telegram. He has two banana suits. Unfortunately, he does not bear a resemblance to Christian Slater.
[4] Kitchen rats are surprisingly good at Parcheesi.
[5] Unfortunately, kitchen rats are not so good at Clue. They only beat me six out of ten games.
[6] Thank you to Hazard Blue for the black tutu idea!
[7] It is unreasonably hard to write the two different pronunciations of "tomato", but I would be out of character if I said anything else. Bear with me here.
[8] Originally, Duo had said, "Simply radishing" and we laughed for a while on that. But then he corrected himself and we continued the story.
[9] I kid you not. This is an actual town.
[10] The Fraggle Rock idea actually was ricocheting around my mind for a while. Thankfully, it will never be put on paper. See if you can guess what show Duchess Ravenwaves is from...

Bonus: Five Reasons Why Treize Is Indubitably *The* Coolest GW Character
5. It takes a *real* man to be able to appreciate roses.
4. Men in uniform... Specifically that one... Mmmmmm...
3. Treize won't burp or scratch his groin or use crude language on the first date.
2. Getting it on with both Zechs *AND* Wufei has to count for something.
1. If he ever starts to go bald, he can just comb his eyebrows over his head.
Coming soon to an archive near you! Five Reasons Why (insert name here) Is Indubitably *The* Coolest GW Character!

Author's notes: I have yet more! This is just trivial stuff... Anyway... I thought Relena was going to play a larger role in this, but she ended up playing a fairly minimal role. Yes, I know that Mad Cow disease does not make a person believe that they are a cow, but hey, artistic license! Also, about all those little notes, you should be glad that there are only ten. I had twenty-seven at one point. AND, I decided to spell her name "Catherine" rather than "Cathrine," because I like it better, so *biiida!* Oooookay. Please write to PeachCerise@aol.com! –Kitsune-chan