I Want You More Then Anything-chapter 3-by masamune

Note: Since I really wanted to do another part from Trowa’s POV it switches about halfway.

Warnings: Again messed up, twisted, not happy fic

(Heero’s POV)

The skies are gray. Looks like rain later today.

But maybe that’ll wash the blood off the pier ne? Shimatta Trowa. I never would have thought, especially after all the time we spent together during the war, that I would be coming to kill you.

But I just can’t excuse what you’ve done Trowa. Kuso! Why wasn’t I able to stop you? Why did you have to go to such extremes? But I can’t leave you alone, no matter what our past was. I can’t forget coming home and seeing the police lights and sirens flashing at the front stoop of our apartment building.

The old woman with that goddamned Chihuahua was the one that told me. Can you imagine what it was like for me Trowa? You unfeeling bastard!

The world was spinning; everything was dulled out, blurry, like I was no longer alive. I couldn’t see, hear or smell anything. Oh but I could feel, I could feel the pain. I could feel the sadness, the anguish, the frustration, the denial; I could feel it all Trowa. But above all only one thing remained. And that was the fact that I’d never see my Duo again, I’d never be able to hear his voice again or spend Sunday nights lazing around the house with him.

Duo, ai shiteru. It hurts so much Duo. Why did you have to die?

Ch’. My beeper again, that’s the fourth time in the past half-hour. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing does anymore. I’m almost to the pier. Soon Duo I’ll avenge you. Its…its all I can do now.

(Trowa’s POV)

Hmm, looks like rain.

Heero, my dear lovely Heero. It’s been almost five days since I killed that monster Duo. Has it taken you that long to sort out your feelings? Has it taken you that long to figure out where your real place is, with me? I’ve waited here for almost the entire time since that afternoon where I shot Duo on the cobbled sidewalk. Or perhaps you haven’t found my note yet?

There’s nothing quite like the smell of the storm before it breaks. You used to love it too, the quiet before the frenzied storm. The wait before the battle erupted.

A small red car turns into the pier. It’s you. I know it is don’t ask me how. I can feel the goosebumps all over just from the very thought of you. Gods Heero, you don’t know how good our new life will be together. Duo, Duo was a fool, a viper with long hair. I believe they called such things Sirens. A monster of beauty that’s what Duo was. Luring the brave and the strong.

But this Siren went after the very best of them all. K’so, did he really think that he’d get away with it? He managed to steal the heart of the greatest man in the universe. But, but I blew the back of his head off before he could completely consume you, before he could take your soul.

The car pulls up and the door opens. Of course you’re the one that steps out, clad in a tight fitting shirt and tight jeans that do a very good job of showing off your oh-too-delicious butt. You see me, standing here, I love you. I watch you close the car door and quickly walk over to me. For years I’ve wanted this Heero, I’ve wanted you to come back for me.

"Trowa!!!" you yell, as you stop, only a few feet away from me. Why do you use such a harsh voice with me? "Kisama Trowa!" I don’t understand you seem upset. "Kisama, kisama, you killed Duo! How could you?" You scream at me, a pained and torn look on your beautiful face. Why is it that you’re so upset?

Oh…I understand now…

"Heero," I say as though I unexpectedly bumped into an old friend. Not an old lover. "How’ve you been doing? It’s been too long." I slip my mask on, the one I’ve worn so many times. I never thought I’d have to use it with him…

"Shimatta Trowa!" Yelling isn’t very becoming of you Heero… "Cut out this shit! You killed Duo and I’ll be damned if I let you live!"

"Then why haven’t you killed me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "You have a gun in your left pants pocket. It would be too easy to just do it now. But something’s holding you back isn’t there?"

That sure froze you. Please Heero didn’t you think I’d have thought things out better then this? I kill that beast Maxwell and break his hold on you. Of course you’d be angry, but still, I know.

"I know you still harbor deep feelings for me Heero," my voice isn’t so flat anymore, more open, more pleading, as if I was a young boy asking mommy if she loved me. "You too haven’t forgotten the time we spent together during the war, you can’t forget and you don’t want to. You don’t want to lose me, you don’t want to kill me. Isn’t that right koi?"

"Ch’," You spit, perhaps hearing me call you that discomforts you? You used to beg me to say such things, to rapidly whisper words in your ear while you made love to me in the dead of night…and sometimes right after lunch.

You stare into my eyes, emerald leaves and Prussian skies, an unlikely but perfect combination. But I also like to see violet roses and red blood, if you know what I mean. But now there’s only misery and anger in those beautiful eyes of yours. I know what the look in your eyes means. I know everything about you.

You reach quickly for your gun. You whip it around and level it precisely at my head. But in half the time mine is out too, and the aim is dead on right between your eyes. Both of us stand, tensely as the rain begins to fall around us.

"You know I would only kill you if I couldn’t have you," I say, all emotion gone from my voice again. "You know I’d pull the trigger in a heartbeat. You know I know you won’t. And no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you want to avenge Duo you know that you won’t kill me."

I hate to torture you this way koi. Heero, you can’t even begin to understand how much I love you. How hot I am just standing here near you, in the drizzling cold rain. Your shoulders tremble and you shake your head. You don’t know what to do, do you Heero? You didn’t think your own emotions would betray you this way. K’so, you don’t know how much I want to run to you and hold you in my arms and tell you that it’s Ok. Now because we’re together.

"Trowa," you say weakly, your words barely audible over the toss of the waves behind us. "You, Duo, how could you? Duo…"

You sob his name as if he was a saint! He wasn’t! He was a cold-blooded killer just like the rest of us. His hands are as bloody as anyone else’s are. He was no light of hope in a dark era. He was Shinigami and his Deathscythe claimed the souls of men without console, just as Heavyarms and Wing did.

"Duo…" You sob it, you still love him. What did he ever do to deserve your love? Crack a joke every once and again? Be the loud-mouthed American baka that he always acted? He never did anything, he never gave you anything the way I did. He didn’t need you the way I do.

The drizzle continues, soaking your shirt and making the wooden pier a darker shade of brown. A car speeds into the main pier area. But I doubt anyone can see us here.

"Duo is dead. He’s buried and won’t come back ever. His damned braid is now a nest for the worms," I scoff, making you shudder in pain. I can’t help but show scorn for the man that stole it all from me. "He stole you from me! K’so! Heero I don’t want to fight anymore! Please put down the gun and I’ll do the same. We can start a new life again, you can be happy with me too!" Why didn’t you ever give me that chance?

The rain seems to have picked up now. It’s falling at a steadier rate. Your eyes are so sad today Heero koi. Please, come with me and it’ll be better. You seem to hesitate; you’re even shaking. Slowly I lower my gun, I never intended to shoot you, I could never bring myself to do such a thing to the one I love more then anything. A small sound off to the right… only shadows, I think. They have a way of playing tricks in the darkness of day.

"Iie!" You shout and raise your shooting arm again. "I loved Duo and I’ll never stop loving him. I can’t let you live Trowa. I’m sorry for what happened. Maybe we could have been together in another time, another world, but I belong forever to Duo. I don’t even want to kill you that much, I just want to be with Duo damnit."

So you want to die Heero…you wait for me to raise my gun and kill you. I don’t want to kill you, just to be with you, no mater the costs. You swallow hard and our eyes lock.

"If I can’t have you then nobody will! If we can’t be together in this world then you and I go on to the next one together!" I raise my gun and all is silent.

You voice is cold and you seem to have finally found your resolve. Perhaps I don’t know you after all this time, ne? "Trowa, please don’t make this any harder for me. Just die. No matter what you say or how I feel I’m still going to kill you."

"Iie!!!" The shout from the shadows to my immediate right startles me. A third gun cocks in the clouded daylight and is aimed towards Heero. Now I can see clearly standing in the shadows a third person. But how in the world did he get here? Quatre.

~ End of part 3

"Bet you didn’t see that coming! Now what? This part was longer and for some reason I think I made Trowa less of an evil bastard. Well don’t worry I won’t leave y’all hanging. Part 4’s coming soon.