Mail from Home
One of the things that all service men look forward to is mail from home. How about one like this?
Dear Son:
   I am writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address cause the last family that lived here took the numbers with them for their next house and they won't change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since. It only rained twice this week -- three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you; your Aunt Sue said it would be a little heavy to send in the mail cause of the heavy buttons. So, we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your father. He has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery.

About your sister. She had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out--rolled down the window and swam to safety -- the other two drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down.

Not much mre. Not much happened. Write more often.

                                                                                                        Love,
                                                                                                         Mom

P.S.
I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.
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