...what am i to you?

Holding your hand and looking into your eyes and I am so close to giving myself to you. All the time that we spend together and I'm more than willing to let you have everything that I can give, and even that which I can't.

I want you to have all of me and nothing less.

Because this is how much I love you.

The words we share and the emotions that have become loving and mutual are something intangible, and yet I know that they make my ultimate decision for allowing you to have me.

And oh how much I want that.

For you to be the first of what I want to be few or no more than you at all.

And we kept on, happy and almost pleased. You with your support of me, your kind words and your gentle touch for the times in which I felt unappreciated, unwanted, and unloved by anyone else other than you. Me with the ability to finally be able to let myself feel the emotion that I had once thought was fleeting and all a joke.

And I have you to thank for it.

And then.

It all came crashing down.

You weren't so faithful to me. I wasn't the only one that you were holding and touching and kissing and sharing with. There was someone else that was getting the priviledge that I thought you alone were allowing me to have.

And I begin to be torn into a dilemma, of whether I should confront you to your face, to question all your actions and to call you out on all your lies.

I remember all the confusion that raced through me, the way that my stomach tightened and the way that I couldn't breathe. I never imagined that every part of me could hurt as one big, tight, horrid ball of pain. I ran through so many disastrous scenarios in my head, my pain and anger unbelievable.

I could almost reach down and feel it through my chest.

And no matter how many times I tried to think that it wasn't true, I knew inside that I had been fooled again. And for so long. I didn't know whether to be embarassed or to want to die.

And yet you continued to make excuses.

You just couldn't tell me the truth, was it so easy to lie?

Had all those things you told me before all lies as well? All the times you told me I was pretty and lovely and smart and perfect for you, were they just false statements you used to keep me around?

What was I to you? What had I become?

Was I something that you wanted to have on the side? Something different than what you really wanted?

Or was I what you really wanted, but were too afraid to let go of someone else.

Who was the one for you?

Me? Or the other?

It almost makes me sad for you, for you to be so undecided and so selfish. To have more than one person to keep you satisfied. It was desperate. And stupid.

And it hurts too many people.

Does she know?

Does she know about whatever I am?

The person on the other side?

Your little liaison?

The End

Your Little Liaison
by: V