| I closed my eyes tight and lifted myself into greedy hands. The dirty grime and I was losing everything that I had. I craved the heavy breathing in my ear and the sweaty hands all over me, touching, groping, sliding. It made me sick somewhere deep inside of me where I knew that I should care. But surprise, surprise, little old me had no feelings on the outside. It felt like losing something invaluable. Something that nobody ever really cared that I had. Underneath it all I'm sure that it bothered me, that it made me want to scream and cry and beg to stop it all. But right here, above all that emotion that I liked to pretend I didn't have sometimes, I wanted all of this. I loved this all, this dirty pain that felt so good. The nasty words and wet lips and gasps. It felt so good. The tight hand around my hip and my nails as they raked deep into the soft, salty skin of shoulders. How could I have gone without this? Why was everything people told me a lie about this? No one told me that I would beg for more. That I would bite my lip and hold back sounds. No one told me that I would scream and writhe. That I would taste on my tongue myself and someone else. No one told me that I would love that taste, that I would press into someone else for more of it. Tongues stroking and teeth biting. No one ever told me that I could make someone else feel this good. I revelled in the sound of my name and the knowledge that yes, I was making this so good for them. That I felt good, that I tasted just as fine as anything else. Just an underlying taste of cheapness. I felt like a whore. And Christ, it felt so good. No one told me that I would feel like a god against someone else's body. That I would find pleasure in being so used. No one told me that I would bring out the worse in someone during the most intimate time. That I would experience a strange relationship of pain and pleasure and good and bad and hurt and love and hate. No one told me that losing it all could feel this good. The End |
| Losing It All by: Your Darling V (hey, someone's gotta give me praise) |