| There's a date in my mind. A date that seems to have been written in indelible ink upon my brain. One that will possibly haunt me for the rest of my life. The day I lost you. The day you went far from my grasp. I never really liked dates or calenders anyway. They seemed to be something that kept track of the time that you had leftover to die. I find it incredibly depressing that computers have a calender that goes on far beyond the time period in which I will live. Either way. I don't like dates. I don't like keeping track of the days. And I don't like that fact that in my head, is the day that I lost you. The only day I can really remember in my memory, besides the other days where I've lost someone. Why must my memories be full of so many days that are no good? I remember a time when I had you, or thought I had you. Not a day. But a time. A span of moments that were clumped together when I thought, when I swore that I had you. And without warning. Without letting me know. (How could you have, without invoking in me pain?) You went away. I lost you. You caused me pain, before you ever went away, but the pain when I lost you. It was magnificent. A bloom of hurt deep in the pit of my stomach, a tightening of my throat, and the seemingly never-ending flow of tears. Anger that curled my fists, sadness that made my finger tremble, and overwhelming loss that made my lips shake. You knew you would cause it. You knew you could cause it. So why did you let me lose you? I guess it's pointless to ask you these questions, or try to get you back, you're gone far away now. Figuratively maybe. Maybe you never cared for me anyway. Would you have done this if you knew that I would do anything to keep you near? Of course it's not your fault entirely. I'm sure I had some part in this stupid play of our lives. Some lines that I must have recited wrong to make you think that you were allowed to leave me. Yet I still wish that you had warned me. That you had known that you would be far from me. That I wouldn't be allowed with you anymore. It was probably an insignificant thought in your head. An unimportant matter and I feel soiled by my selfishness in thinking that I would have been in your mind at the moment. It's hard to keep loving you, when you have hurt me so much. And I suppose I am damned to remember you my whole life. And of course the day that I lost you. The End. |
| The Day I Lost You by: V |