| ...And These Are a Few of My Favourite Things |
| "All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal, or fattening" - Alexander Woollcott |
| Today boys and girls we are going to play a fun game! It's called: "who is your daddy, and what are his favourite things?". We will be discussing BBQ Sauce, Beer, Books, Cars, Comic Books, Hot Babes, Liquor, Movies, Music, Smells, Strip Clubs, and TV Shows. Doesn't that sound like fun?! Did you know that supposedly everything you learn in life, you learn in kindergarten? Stange, I don't remember ever being taken to a strip club when I was four... do you? |
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| My Favourite Beer: SMITHWICK'S ALE - If you really want to wow your senses with a beverage, chug down a Smithwick's! This dark red Irish Ale smells great, tastes like magic, and feels good goin' down. It's got a little thickness to it, but it's not so thick that you have to drink it down with a fork. I refer to Smithwick's as being Guinness' little brother. I'll admit though, it's an acquired taste; I didn't like Smithwick's at first... but once you do acquire the taste I guarantee you this beer will make your pub experience foggy, and thus complete. CHEERS! |
| My Favourite Comic Book: THE PUNISHER 2099 - This stellar comic book published by Marvel contains the 3 essential elements required for a comic book to be stellar: great artwork, a good story, and lots and lots of guns and explosions! Punisher 2099 takes place in the year, YOU GUESSED IT, 2099. It's about a cop who is a weapons specialist for a corrupt privatized police force in NY. He finds the old War Journal diaries of the original Punisher, Frank Castle, and takes it upon himself to carry on his work. The story goes: one day Punisher 2099, or Jake Gallows as he's known, is walking through the zoo with his family, when all of a sudden they all get killed by some gun-toading loon. Jake Gallows lives of course and goes on a spree of murderous revenge, wiping out all of the crime in his fair city as The Punisher 2099! This insperational comic book can now be found in the 25 cent bins at most comic book stores. |
| My Favourite Hot Babe: SOFIA VERGARA - Columbia is renowned for its exporting of coffee, cocaine, and women. Ms. Sofia Vergara just so happens to be one of those exports. Everything about this woman just oozes sex. Believe me, if I could make her picture as big as this page, I would, but I can't, so I won't. Physically, she is absolutely flawless. As for her personality; does it really matter? I mean christ, just look at her! Now, for the ladies checking out this page; if you look anything like this goddess to the left, it is extremely important that you get a hold of me ASAP. I will make you a happy woman, and you will make me a very happy man. See... we're perfect for eachother! Could somebody please get me a bib?! |
| My Favourite Movie: BLADE RUNNER BY RIDLEY SCOTT - This 1982 visual epic is insperational... no matter which cut you view. I have seen this movie a countless number of times, and each time I see it I notice something different and great about it. This movie is set in LA in the year 2019, and is about a Blade Runner (Harrison Ford) and his assignment to retire a group of Replicants. A Blade Runner is like a bounty hunter who works for the police, and a Replicant is an artificial human, like an android, and they are declared illegal on Earth. It is the job of the Blade Runners to retire (kill) these Replicants if they come to Earth. It is an amazing story, but even more amazing than the story are the visuals in the movie, coupled with the soundtrack provided by Vangelis which makes for an overall intoxicating experience. And if movies aren't your thing, then you could read the book which the movie is based on: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick. Coincidentally, that is also one of my favourite books and worth checking out! |
| My Favourite Strip Club: TREASURES - A fortune cookie once told me: "You will find unexpected treasure"; and that I did! This premier gentlemen's club is absolutely fantastic! The decor and atmoshpere in this place is fit for a king, the women are very beautiful, and the beer is very expensive... it's everything you could expect and more! My only complaint is that they stopped serving Labatt Blue. I'll get over it. (Click on the link to the left for directions, and when you're there ask for "Nikki". You won't be disappointed!). |
| My Favourite Musical Choice: THE CHEMICAL BROTHERS - "Big drum, big bass, siren mad" is what the Chems are all about. The electronic superstar DJ duo of Tom Rowlands and Ed Simons from the UK never cease to amaze me with their musical wizardry and talent. I have seen them live twice, and I can tell you that you don't need to be under any chemical influence to be influenced by The Chemical Brothers. I find that this duo's sound gets better with each album they release. They are the pioneers of modern electronic music, and will continue to break grounds and inspire people with their albums, both new and old. It's some wicked-crazy shit! |
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| My Favourite Book: MONSTRUM BY DONALD JAMES - This is the first (and in my opinion, the best) book in a trilogy written by Donald James which revolves around the less than glamorous life of Homicide Detective Constantin Vadim, in post civil war Russia in the year 2015. Vadim is a man who is easily seduced by two things: vodka and women. So he isn't unlike you or I in the sense that throughout the book get gets seduced quite often by those things! The Monstrum, on the other hand, is unlike you or I in the sense that he is a savage killer who preys on and brutally dismembers women, and quite graphically I might add. Vadim is tasked with apprehending the Monstrum, and his investigation will take you on a thrilling journey through Russias prominent streets of politics and militia, to Russias seedy underworld of gypsies, sex cults, and anarchy. This book is written in a sort of 1st person style which immerses you right into the story. Whenever Vadim had a drink, I felt like having a drink! It's an excellent read, brothers. Enjoy! |
| My Favourite BBQ Sauce: BULL'S-EYE HICKORY SMOKE - A real man's diet consists primarily of meat products, and every man knows that there is but one way to cook meat: on a barbecue over an open flame! However, no peice of meat is truely complete without its sauce; this is where BULL'S-EYE Hickory Smoke comes into the picture. The sweet hickory smoked flavour of this BBQ sauce will augment any peice of meat you apply it to. For best results: 1. Barbecue your meat until it's about 7/8 cooked to your liking. 2. Coat your meat generously on all sides with BULL'S-EYE. 3. Turn the heat down on your barbecue, and let the sauce bake and simmer into your meat until it's about the consistency of caramel. 4. Serve, and be prepared for your girlfriend to be brought to her knees from the flavour. |
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| My Favourite Car: LAMBORGHINI REVENTON - I like my cars like I like my women: fast, with killer curves, and a great set of headlights. The Reventon looks like the damn batmobile and has balls to boot: a 6.5 liter V12 pushing out 650 Horses, a 6-speed paddle-operated transmission, a top speed of 340 km/h, with 0-100 km/h in 3.3 sec, and optional front mounted dual 30mm Gatling Guns! But like most of the women in my life, the Reventon comes with a hefty price tag. This machine will set me back a modest $1.5 million. "She stole my heart and then my wallet"... but damn what a ride! Ok ok, there are no guns, but they sure would come in handy on those days when your garage door won't open. |
| My Favourite Liquor: CAPTAIN MORGAN PRIVATE STOCK - Oh sweet nectar of the gods. This delicious beverage can be described in one word: orgasmic. I first experienced this beverage, and yes it is an experience, when I was out East. The stylish bottle containing the amber coloured rum is an example of when you should judge a book by its cover. Once uncorked, the subtle scent of sweet mohogany only increases your thirst. Upon sipping this rum your body takes a journey into flavour country, followed by a nice warm glow. The mixture of spicy and sweet ingredients are subtle and perfect.To mix this drink with anything would be a sin. It has almost no bite to it, considering it is 40% alcohol. Upon my arrival back to Toronto I was crushed by the news from my local liquor store that this beverage is only available in the East Coast. Lucky bastards! |
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| My Favourite TV Show: THE WIRE BY DAVID SIMON - This award winning police drama on HBO is as real as it gets. It is set in present day Baltimore, Maryland and revolves around the never ending dynamic battle between The Law and The Streets and the interesting parallels between the two very different, yet very similar, organizations. The characters in this show are incredible and brilliantly acted, and the storyline can be compared to that of a great epic novel. It is very well written and shot on location, using very minimal studio sets. All those elements, coupled with the utilization of veteran police officers as consultants for the show make for a very raw, witty, and overall addictive experience. It's well worth picking the seasons up on DVD. I have yet to see a finer show on television to this day. |
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| My Favourite Smell: GUCCI RUSH - They should have named this perfume "Stripper in a Bottle". But I do understand where they got the name rush from, because that is what happens to my blood as it goes to both of my heads whenever I experience this euphoric scent! For all those sexy women bold enough to wear this perfume, be warned, as it has the ability to make men go into a fit of lustful insanity for you. And for all the men fortunate enough to meet a woman wearing this perfume... that feeling you will get in your pants is normal. |
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