| The Squashed ATFA |
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| The Squashed ATFA Chap. 1: Twins Alanna: I wanna be a knight. Thom: I wanna be a mage. Alanna: Let’s switch places Maude: This is the way it’s supposed to be. Alanna: Look! A black city! Chap. 2: The New Page Duke Gareth: Hello. You will work and work until you are unable to move any part of your body. Alanna: Charming. Ralon: Hi. I’m an asshole Gary & Raoul: Hi. We’re nice guys. Jon: Hi. I’m the Prince Chap. 3: Ralon Ralon: I’m gonna take your ass down! Alanna: Oh yeah? (is beaten up) George, will you teach me how to fight? George: Ok. Alanna: Hey Ralon, come over here & let me beat the shit outta ya!!! (beats up Ralon) Ralon: (crying) You’re mean! (leaves palace) Chap. 4: Death in the Palace Alanna: Look! Random people are getting ill! Roger: I was the one who caused all of this (evil laughter) (people die. Jon becomes ill) Alanna: Fuck! Jon’s ill! Hey, I have the Gift! Can I help him? Everyone: Ok Alanna: (saves Jon) Chap. 5: The Second Year Sklaw: You can’t use a sword for shit Alanna: You’re mean! Hey Coram, will you teach me how to use a sword? Coram: Ok Roger: Hi. I’m evil Alanna: I knew it!!! Chap. 6 Womanhood Alanna: George! I’m a girl! George: That’s nice Myles: Come look at my ruins Alanna: Ok. Look! A cool sword! Roger: The sword makes me nervous…. Chap. 7 The Black City Roger: Don’t go to the Black City Jon: Ok. Come on Alan let’s go Ysandir: Die!!! (Alanna & Jon kill them) Alanna: I’m a girl & Duke Roger is evil Jon: That’s nice & no he is not! |