| Chap. 1-The Woman Who Rides Like a Man Alanna: Splish Splash I was taking a bath... Coram: Hillmen! Attack! (They fight hillmen. Lightning breaks) Alanna: Shit (A bunch of Bazhir show up) Halef Seif: You are now members of the tribe Alanna& Coram: Cool Chap. 2-The Bloody Hawk Kara, Kourrem, Ishak: We're outcasts. Pity us Alanna: Awwww Akhnan ibn Nazzir: You are evil!! Alanna: No I'm not! (Ali Mukhtab shows up) Ali Mukhtub: Hey everyone! I'm dying! Chap. 3-Bazhir Shaman Alanna: This crystal sword is freaky Akhnan: You are still evil. Alanna: Oh yeah? Die, asshole!! (Kills ibn Nazzir) Halef Seif: You are now the shaman Alanna: WTF??? Chap. 4-Studies & Sorcery Alanna: Will you 3 be my apprentices? Kara, Kourrem, Ishak: Yes Ishak: I'm a snot Alanna: You will not give me any shit or I will hurt you Ishak: Ok FINE Chap. 5-Apprentices Alanna: This is how you do this....& this.....& this.... Kara, Kourrem: Cool Ishak: I'm being stupid & annoying. Watch me attempt to play w/ things I don't understand!! (dies) Alanna: Oh well Jon & Myles: SURPRISE!! Chap. 6-Ceremonies Myles: Can I adopt you? Alanna: Ok Jon: Hey sexy (Kara & Kourrem undergo the rite of shamans) Alanna: You are now shamans of the Bloody Hawk Kara & Kourrem: Cool Chap. 7-The Voice of the Tribes Ali Mukhtab: Hey, I'm still dying here! Jon must become the Voice of the Tribe Jon: What??? Alanna: Have some strength, Ali Mukhtab. (Jon undergos the Rite of the Voice) Jon: I'm the Voice now. Marry me, Alanna! Alanna: No!! Chap. 8-The King of the Thieves Alanna: Jon's an asshole George: But I'm not Alanna: Hey sexy Josiane: I'm an evil slut Thom: Watch me mess w/ nature Chap. 9-At the Sign of the Dancing Dove Claw-I have a secret identity George: Get outta my chair asshole Claw: Ooh I'm so scared George: Stop fucking stuff up, Thom Thom: I've become an egotistical jerk and will do no such thing Chap. 10-The Doomed Sorceress Halef Seif: Go see my dying friend Alanna & Coram: Ok Priest: Burn her in the name of Vkandis*....oops wrong world. Well burn her anyway!! (Alanna & Coram save the Sorceress) Sorceress: Give this to Halef Seif(hands over envelope) Alanna: Ok *those who have read any of the Valdemar books by Mercedes Lackey will understand this |