| Chap. 2-The Hawk & Smelly Stormwings Setting: A campsite in the forest. Daine & Onua wake up to a horrible smell Daine: What the hell is that? Onua: Cabbage….no that was the last fic. It smells like…..CAFETERIA FOOD!!!!!!!!! Daine: NOOO!!!!! (Suddenly a bunch of strange birdlike creatures appear chasing what appears to be a hawk. They have human heads & bodies w/ plastic wings & feet) Onua: Run away! Run away! Daine: But I can shoot them. Onua: Why bother? Daine: They smell bad & they're chasing a hawk. Onua: A hawk? Why didn't you say so? Let us destroy them w/ our Super Soakers! (They pump up their Super Soakers & aim them at the Stormwings. Daine shoots down a ton) Onua: Damn. You're so good. Daine: Whatever. Zhaneh Bitterclaws: Damn you suck! Daine: Excuse me? I kick ass at archery! Onua: You're supposed to be humble-remember? Daine: Oh yeah. Zhaneh Bitterclaws: Stupid mortals. Daine: Hey! You're a mortal too! Zhaneh: I am not! Daine: But you can die! Zhaneh: No I can't! Daine: Why don't we find out? (shoots Zhaneh in the eyes. She screams loudly & flies away w/ the rest of the flock) Onua: We need to find that hawk! Daine: Why? Onua: Because he's a very important person….I shouldn't have told you that! Daine: I'll find him. In a marsh Daine: Here, hawky hawky hawky! Here hawky hawky hawky! (Suddenly the hawk falls out of a tree & hits Daine on the head) Daine: Oh here it is. Come on, let's go Back at the Camp Daine: Here he is. Onua: Thank God! (Onua puts the hawk in a large bed inside a large children's dollhouse) There. Daine: Where'd that dollhouse come from? Onua: The author Daine: Oh yeah Onua: Take care of this haek. Daine: Why? Onua: Cause I said so! Daine: How? Onua: You know animals. Figure it out. Daine: Ok (Daine sticks some feathers in her hair & begins chanting strangely. The hawk looks sicker) Onua: You're making it worse! Daine: I am? Onua: He's going to throw up on my Barbie Dream House! Daine: Ok I'll stop. Onua: We need to get help. (Onua casts a spell & summons Alanna to help) Dammit! She won't be here for another few days! Daine: What'll we do??? Onua: Summon the author. Oh author! (I appear) Ziasfiremage: Yes? Onua: We need the Lioness. Now. Ziasfiremage: Fine. The characters in my last fic were much less demanding, although they did get difficult near the end. You guys just give me Writer's Block! Onua: Well do a parody of POTS, then! Ziasfiremage: Oh no, all of you need to be parodied as well. Don't worry-POTS will get its turn. (I disappear. Alanna appears) Alanna: I was taking a bath, but I couldn't resist the urge to make a cameo. Daine: Hey! I'M the star of this fic! Alanna: Where's the hawk? Onua: In the dollhouse. Alanna: Let's see….I think I can heal him. Daine: Do you need me for anything? Alanna: No. Not really (She takes the hawk out of the dollhouse. Suddenly there is a huge flash of purple light. The hawk is gone & in its place is Michael Jackson) Daine & Onua: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Alanna: Whoops wrong pedophile!* (Numair appears) Numair: Hi guys! Daine: He's naked! Ewwwwwwwww! NEXT CHAP: Daine learns of her powers & the badger visits! A/N: I've been extremely busy lately w/ excessive schoolwork and the school play. And I had Writer's Block. I'll try to get the next chap up quicker but I can't make guarantees. *No offense to Numair. I like him a lot |