CURSES!
Part 1: [Exchange]
A Fanfic by Kuroi Tenshi
Date: 03/16/01
Type: Humor!/2=1=4=3=5=2(I will explain this!)
plus the pairings 1+2/3+4/5+13/obvious OCC! *hehehehe*
Disclaimer: I know you are wondering what the
numbers written like that mean. This is a very out of character fic, because
that’s exactly what it is about. Trying to not give it away, I will only say
that whenever I speak of a character, I will be referring to their physical
sense, not their personality. These adorable boys don’t belong to me, but I
make them do funny stuff. Standard disclaimer at the bottom.
Love Letters at: K_Tenshi@gundamwing.org
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“You can see a man’s face,
but you can’t see his heart.”
-Massive
Attack.
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“Ha! So much for Shinigami, you’re dead!”
“Damn it!” Duo threw his controller to the
floor, his head fuming. “I’m not giving you victory. One more time!”
“Hn. Fine, I will beat you for the 22nd
time consecutive.” Duo grabbed the gray PSX2 controller and prepped himself for
another round of Tekken3ä.
Heero just chuckled to his insides, Duo was so impulsive he didn’t take the
time to read the instruction manual to learn the special moves; he just
desperately pressed the buttons, hoping to make a crazy combo. Duo sweatdropped
at the sight of his character, the hot Native-American chick, getting her ass
kicked by the karate-crazed Japanese guy Heero was handling. *Who would have
thought Heero was so good at videogames???* He grumped to his insides.
Wufei just sat on the couch, staring at them,
and letting out a sigh of boredom every once in a while. They hadn’t had a
mission in weeks. He was starting to get impatient. Treize could be up to
something, his head spun with thoughts of Kushrenada, most of them not related
to any missions, however. Wufei let out a loud grunt in disgust. *Damn that
Treize and what he’s doing to me!*
“That was a bad move on my part there, eh Wufie?”
Duo asked, realizing that hitting the A button repeatedly would not give him
the awesome 16-punch combo he was so much hoping for.
“Whatever Maxwell, I don’t care if Yuy kicks
your ass 50 times more…I was just complaining because…I’m hungry. Where the
hell are Quatre and Trowa with the damn food?!!” Wufei barked, crossing his
arms.
“Waaa!! Not again!!!” Duo yelled at the TV
screen, which showed in giant letters the words “PLAYER 1 WINS!”. He threw his
controller down and went to sit at the couch next to Wufei.
“This sucks! Now I have to pay my part of the
deal…” he started, but his expression then changed as he looked into Heero’s
eyes. *Hmmm…maybe it won’t be that bad to be on bottom tonight…*
“Hey! We’re home!” Quatre called, as he and
Trowa entered the house carrying armloads of fast food bags and packages.
“Someone, please help us!” he shifted his arms to keep more French fries from
falling.
“My burgers!!” Duo yelled frantically, running
over to him. Trowa silently walked over to the kitchen table and set the bags
down. Everyone gathered to grab their orders.
“This is…’Soba Noodles, Rainbow Rolls and
Shrimp Tempura’. I think this is yours Heero.” Trowa handed him the white
plastic bag, and grabbed the bag next to it. “Hmmm…Gordita Supreme™, Chicken
Burrito and 2 bean Tacos. Yep, that’s mine all right.” He sat down next to the
Japanese boy, who had gotten up to make some green tea.
“2 BigMacs™, 1 Cheeseburger, 2 Frosties, 2
Large Fries, 1 apple pie, 1 packet of 10 piece chicken nuggets…”Duo looked
around the table, searching for that last item. “Quatre, you didn’t forget my
Happy Meal™ right??”
“No Duo, here it is.” Quatre pulled out a
cardboard box out of another bag. Duo’s had been the biggest order…also the
cheapest one…for HIM, since he wasn’t going to pay for it, as usual.
“Hell Yeah! Powerpuff Girls™ Toys! I got
Bubbles!” He cried, making his little doll fly over a fuming Wufei.
“Stop that racket Maxwell! Quatre, did you get
my egg rolls?”
“Yeah, and your Chicken Fried Rice, Chop Suey
and Vegetable LoMein.” He handed him his food, in the little cute white boxes.
Wufei got out his favorite pair of chopsticks. Noticing this, Heero got his out
too, out of the infinite depths of his spandex.
“Wha *munch* di u ge *chomp*, Ka *munch* tra?”
Duo asked, letting the pile of munched up fries and burger show from his mouth.
“I got a Shawarma, among other things.” He
said as he opened up his a plastic container with Tabouli salad.
“A Chow-what?!”
“A Sha…ah forget it. It has meat in it, that’s
all you need to know.” Quatre took a bite of his salad but stopped dead in his
tracks when he saw Trowa open his mouth to take in the burrito, his lips
covering it in a way Quatre knew quite well. His bout of concentration was
broken by an insisting Duo.
“Can I have a bite?”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Just a little one?”
“NO! Eat your food, you have a lot of it!”
Duo looked over to Heero, who was slurping
away his noodles. “Can I…”
“No.” *Special Death Yuy Glare™*
“…okay..” Duo continued to eat his fries,
playing with little Bubbles as he did so. He glanced over to Trowa, *Man, those
tacos sure look good! Maybe when he’s not looking..* but Trowa being the master
of observance he was, caught on to Duo’s bulging eyes and placed his food away
from the raving boy. Duo slumped in his chair. *Their food looks yummier than
mine…because its not mine!* Just then, Wufei was reaching out to grab his
fortune cookie, since he was already done.
“Wait! I wanna open it!” Duo threw himself
across the table and grabbed it before Wufei. The Chinese boy’s face turned
redder than a tomato.
“Give me back my cookie!!!” He swung his body
over the table to try to take back his little treat, but Duo covered it with
his entire body.
“Please Wufie! Let me open it!!”
“Give me back the damn cookie Maxwell!!!”
“Please!!!!”
“MAXWEEEEELLLL!!!!!”
Wufei threw himself over Duo and wrestled the
braided boy over the infamous cookie. They literally jumped on top of the table
and each grabbing one end, pulled with all their might. Quatre, Heero and Trowa
grabbed their food away to avoid it being stepped on.
“COME ON WUFEI!! PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO OPEN
IT!!!”
“GIVE IT BACK MAXWELL!!!”
The cookie finally broke. And a bright light
filled the room.
* * *
“What the hell happened?” Heero asked, rubbing
his head. Something didn’t feel right…he looked up at the two boys on top of
the table. He looked down at his food, a steaming bowl of noodles half eaten.
*Did Heero finally let me eat his noodles?* he thought.
“Now look what you did! You are such an idiot
Maxwell!!” Duo yelled frantically, unaware of the bulging eyes that looked at
him. “What?!!” They all just continued to stare at him. He glanced over at
Trowa, who was looking at his burrito as if he had never seen one.
“OHMYGOD!!! THE BURRITO!!” Trowa yelled, his
face whiter than milk. Quatre’s eyes narrowed, he looked down at his unfinished
salad and made a face of disgust. “This tastes like crap.” He said.
“What are you idiots looking at?!! Do I have
something on my face or…AAAAARGH!! WHAT AM I DOING THERE???!!! Duo screamed,
looking at Wufei who just stared at him, with subtle expression of confusion.
“WHY…I..IF..IM THERE…WHAT…YOU…MAXWEEEELLLLL!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!!!” The
braided boy yelled at the top of his lungs, his fist clenched. Heero looked
back at him, eyes wide open in confusion.
“I don’t know!! I didn’t do anything!! I’m
sorry Wufie!!” Heero cried, looking around the room. Quatre was observing the
salad in front of him, Trowa was hyperventilating, Wufei sat back down on his
chair, looking back at Trowa with concern, and Duo kept staring back at him
with a look in his eyes that marked the end of his existence.
“I don’t know exactly what happened, but
somehow he exchanged bodies!” Quatre finally spoke, crossing his arms. Wufei
looked at him and nodded in agreement.
“You have released the spell!!” a voice called
out of nowhere. The 5 boys looked around the room, looking at each other for
assurance.
“Who said that?” Heero asked. He looked to his
left where Duo was, still glaring at him. The voice then spoke again.
“Psst!! Aqui! Look over here!” the voice said
once more, with a distinct Mexican accent. The sound seemed to be coming from
Trowa’s hand.
“OHMYGOD!! THE BURRITO!!” Trowa yelled again,
holding the cylindrical tortilla up to everyone’s view. “THE BURRITO SPOKE!!”
“Como estan, muchachos?” The burrito asked,
the open ends flapping as it spoke. Heero’s jaw dropped, Duo’s face turned
white, Quatre glared and Wufei just sat quiet, but with genuine concern in his
eyes.
“It seems now that you opened up the cookie of
exchange. It is a spell that makes the person’s soul occupy another’s body. But
since there were cinco [1] of you, you switched to each other's bodies.” The
burrito explained. Trowa held it up so everyone could see it clearly.
“So we're destined to stay this way forever?”
Wufei asked, and the burrito turned towards him. ”Naaahhh! It only lasts 24
hours! So, orale!, go have fun, do
something compadre!”
“What?!!! I have to stay in this moron’s body
for a day?!! KISAMAAAAA!!!” Duo growled, waving his fists in the air. Heero got
up from his seat and approached the burrito.
“Can I eat this taco, or is he your friend?”
“DUO!!!” everyone yelled. The burrito
chuckled.
“No, that’s my compadre, Jose. Go eat your
spaghetti thing, you crazy gringo!”
“Hey!” Heero frowned. It wasn’t spaghetti, it
was noodles.
“Anyways,” the burrito continued,” If you boys
have any questions in the meantime, feel free to ask me. If you eat me, then
you stay trapped in those bodies forever! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!” the burrito
laughed loudly, almost spilling out his filling. Quatre made a face.
“Ok, so we will ask you…” Trowa started.
“You can call me Pedro.” The burrito replied.
“Pedro, can I eat the Gordita or is she your
girlfriend?” Heero asked, drooling over the treat.
“DUO!!!”
“No, and that’s Señor Pedro for you!”
the burrito exclaimed. “And I suggest you put me in the fridge, because if I
decompose, same thing, you stay trapped…FOREVER!! HAHAHAHAHA!” Trowa frowned,
he was getting annoyed of Pedro already.
“Man! Everybody knows fast food doesn’t last
24 hours!! This is gonna be harder than we thought!” Heero wailed, scratching
the back of his head. He felt weird having so little hair back there. *I miss
my braid!!*
“NO! I will not stay trapped in Maxwell’s
body!! All this hair in my face doesn’t let me see a thing!!” Duo barked,
swinging his head, which made the chestnut braid dance behind him. “And this
STUPID THING is heavy and a pain in the ass!!” he grabbed the braid, tugging on
it, forgetting that it was attached to his own skull. Suddenly his expression
changed to one mischievous. He jumped back on the table, holding the long woven
mass of hair up.
“Maxwell! I will take my revenge on you for
all the times you screwed me over! “ He got the sword out of Wufei’s pants, and
held it dangerously close to the braid.
“NOOO! WUFEI! OK…ok..Wufei, calm down…” Heero
yelled frantically. Duo smirked.
“HA! How does it feel now, Maxwell?! Now that
you’re on the other side? I will have Justice!!” Duo took the blade and held it
at the base of the braid, right above the neck. A few hairs fell down, making
Heero cringe.
“Wufei…listen to me…Put the braid down…” Heero
gestured with his hands, moving slowly towards the black uniformed figure.
Quatre, Trowa and Wufei stared at them. *For some reason, this just doesn’t
look right* Trowa thought.
“Heheh…Maxwell?” Duo asked, his gaze softening
up a bit. Heero lit up.
“Yes, Wufei?”
“MAKE A WISH!!” Duo’s arm swung the blade
down. Heero screamed desperately, and Pedro laughed hysterically.
T.B.C
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Author’s notes: [1] cinco means “five” in
Spanish.
I must say part of the inspiration for this
fic are the fast food remainders I constantly step on or run into leftover from
my messy roommates. And let me tell you 10-day-old burgers and pizza leave a
very distinct smell, hard to forget;_; I apologize if its hard to follow, but
an easy way to think about it is that when I refer to the characters (I.E:
Heero says…) I’m talking about the body, not the personality, meaning the actual
character. It’s hard to do this sort of thing when its written, which is why I
think this would work better as a DJ. I might get into that. This is as much as
I have, I don’t know, you guys tell me, should I go on? Any ideas, anyone?? I
hope you liked what I have for now!
-Kuroi Tenshi=:)
The Full
Disclaimer
Shin Kidousenki
Gundam Wing is trademark and
property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated companies. The
characters are used without permission for entertainment purposes and of completely
no profit at all. Original portions of this work belong to the author.