A FanFic by Kuroi Tenshi
Date: 12/10/00
Type: Yaoi/Songfic/angst/4x3/lemon
Disclaimer: The GW characters are not mine
(sadly) they belong to Sunrise, etc, etc, ect…
“The Perfect Drug” song belongs to Trent
Reznor (*dreamy eyed* Trent-samaaa!!!) and Nine Inch Nails. I recommend you
download the song and listen to it while you read this:)
Love letters at: K_Tenshi@gundamwing.org
Key: songlines in italics
Once again, I find myself alone. Alone.
That’s always been my fate. And with the years I got used to it. But I once
heard that a man is not an island, and whoever said that is right. No matter
how much I distanced myself from everyone and everything, I never liked it. I
still don’t like it. In fact, I hate it. But that’s my life, and there’s
nothing I can do. The one that can take away the sorrow in my heart is gone. I
have no reason for happiness.
I got my head but my head is unraveling
Can’t keep control can't keep track of
where it's traveling
“Quatre”. His absence echoes around the
room.
I got my heart but my heart's no good
and you're the only one that understood
Like every night, I cannot sleep since he
left for Earth, 1 year, 6 months, 3 weeks and 5 days ago exactly. I’m that
obsessed. I bring one hand up to my face. I close my eyes..yes, I can still
remember his touch. Like every night, I remember the same, over and over again.
The last time we made love.
I come along but I don't know where you're
taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching
dragging shaking me
Quatre runs his hands down my neck as I
deepen our kiss. I pull him closer to me. I want to merge with him. I want to
be inside of him. I feel myself dissolve in his embrace.
Turn off the sun pull the stars from the
sky
the more I give to you the more I die
I pick up his face close to mine, pulling
away from our kiss. I stare into his sky blue eyes. So much innocence, purity.
So much love, so full. And I’m so empty, so worthless. So…stained.
“Trowa-kun.” His melody-like voice
caresses my name. My lie. I have no name.
I am nothing.
“I want to be with you forever.” He says.
Quatre, I love you too. I say the words with a new kiss, laying him under me,
careful not to crush him with my weight.
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
You are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
“I want to be with you forever as well,” I
say, my breathing ragged. I can’t take it much longer. I need him.
you make me hard when I’m all soft inside
Quatre moans as we rub against each other.
Our movements rapid and uneven by the losing of control. I undo his shirt as he
pulls mine off. He rubs his hand down my chest, pinching my nipples. I gasp in
ecstasy, my hands sloppily trying to get his damn pants off. He reaches down
and grabs my aching hardness. And I feel something inside of me break. I never
knew love could be this intense.
I see the truth when I’m all stupid-eyed
“Trowa-kun…” he moans, my hands racing up
and down his thighs. “Thank you.”
I blink, too drunk in desire to
understand. “What for?”
“Thank you for existing.”
The arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart
I feel my chest collapse; something inside
of me just explodes. On the floor, a collage of our clothes adorns the carpet,
as we lay naked, savoring every little inch of our bodies. My lips travel from
his lips, swollen from our kisses, down to his jaw, my tongue tracing the path
down to his nipples, licking, biting and sucking, hard. Until he gets desperate
and pushes my head down. Down to his utmost desire. I lick it slowly,
playfully. The tip, then down the side, around, and up again. I look up to see
him lost in pleasure, tugging on my hair to go further. I smile, and let my
tongue guide me into him, swallowing him whole. He gasps, his hands running
down my back, nails biting into my skin.
My blood wants to say hello to you
my fears want to get inside of you
I move slowly, letting my teeth graze his
delicate skin softly. Quatre squirms, mumbling to me, telling me to speed up.
Quatre. I let my jaw relax a bit, my lips caressing him, sliding up and down,
up and down, faster every time. Quatre. How can you love someone like me? His
fingers run like mad through my hair.
My soul is so afraid to realize
how very little good is left of me
“Please…Tro-tro-wa-wa,” he cries. I love
him so much. I’m in too deep, I know it.
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
and I want you
You are the perfect drug
the perfect drug
My sanity is basically gone now, and I
search desperately for the lubricant by the nightstand. I grab it, dab some on
my own erection and toss the bottle aside. His eyes lock with mine, soggy with
lust and longing. I position myself and taking a deep breath, I enter him. He
gasps, so I move slowly. I see his eyes flinch. Quatre. My Quatre. I never want
to hurt you. I want to make you happy. Because you made this completely
worthless being see the beauty of life. I owe you everything. You saved my
soul, and made me see that I’m not empty. I feel him climaxing, my binding
breaks. I lose it, and I start thrusting like a madman.
(take me)
(with you)
(take me)
(with you)
He cries out as he comes, shooting up
against my stomach. The sight just excites me more, and soon enough my
overflowing longing is released inside of him. I belong inside of you, Quatre.
I am nothing without you.
Without you
without you everything falls apart
I open my eyes, I see him looking back at
me. We’re laying face to face, my arm around his waist. He smiles, his eyes
shimmering in the moonlight. My little angel. I kiss him on the nose and he
kisses me back lightly on the lips. He yawns and his eyes close, his body
curled up against mine. I just lay there, watching him sleep, running my
fingers through his golden locks. Oh my little one, you have no idea how much
you move me. I don’t show it, I’m too scared to show any emotion. But I know
deep inside you know it.
Without you
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
It’s so real; sometimes I search the side
of my bed, finding only emptiness. And then I sit up and think, like tonight,
about how happy and miserable I am all at the same time. There isn’t any middle
ground in love. It’s all extremes. Extreme joy. Extreme misery. But it’s all
worth it. I’ve never felt so alive in my life. My past is just a bunch of
pieces that are not important anymore, but still…
Without you
without you everything falls apart
without you
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces
Quatre. I’m looking forward to joining you
finally.
END
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Author’s notes: This is my first GW
fanfic, and Songfic as well. Trowa is one of my favorite GW characters, and I
am a very big supporter of the 3x4/4x3 addiction! If there are any mistakes, or
misconceptions of the characters they are because I haven’t watched the entire
series yet, I’ve only read the manga, which I am told differs from the series.
Also I love NIN and I think this song plays very well with their relationship
(Trent-sama knows all about angst and relationships ^_~). I hope you enjoy it!
I’ll be back with more GW fics yaoi goodness, till then!
-Kuroi Tenshi =:)
The Full Disclaimer
Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing is trademark and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu
Agency, and associated companies. The characters are used without permission
for entertainment purposes and of completely no profit at all. Original
portions of this work belong to the author.