A Fanfic by Kuroi Tenshi
Date: 01/27/01
Type:
Shounen-ai/Songfic/Angst/POV
Disclaimer: No, the adorably
delicious Gundam Wing boys do not belong to me. They belong to a
bunch of Japanese men who would
commit seppuku if they knew the things I make them do, he he
he:p "In the Shadow of the
valley of death" song belongs to the ever-so-controversial Marilyn
Manson (who is AWESOME in
concert, must I add). Download the song and listen while you read, if
you don’t own the album.
Love letters at okita5@yahoo.com
Key: songlines in italics
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We have no future
Heaven wasn’t made for me
I am this *extremely small
distance between thumb and index finger* close to losing it.
Nobody knows how hard it is to
keep up the happy-go-lucky attitude all the friggin time. But
the truth is, I don't really
lie...Hell, I NEVER lie. The part of me that laughs about
everything is the weak part. The
part that just can't take it. Laughs everything off so it
won't affect him. Suits me well,
I guess.
Death laughs at everything.
As fast as it can be
I wish that I could be the
king
Its kinda funny seeing me in
this situation. I mean, look at me. I'm here, with a towel around
my waist, staring at myself in
the mirror as if I had never seen this person in front of me
before. Funny thing is, I
haven't. I only see this guy every once in a while...once too many
times.
His lovely violet eyes, so deep,
almost hypnotize me. Seriously, I have a hard time pulling
away from them. Heero says
they're like the ocean, endless. I can definitely vouch for that.
But as lovely as they are, it's
so painful to stare into them, and so painful not too. It's a
masochist's delight. The beauty
and horror I see in them is far too extraordinary to describe.
I visually trace the delicate
face, smooth as ivory, rosy cheeks, a delicious mouth, as if
carved by the greatest sculptor,
up to those violet pools once again, damp and hot full of
streaming pain.
Maggots put on shirts
Sell each other shit
Sometimes I feel so worthless
Sometimes I feel discarded
Oh, why so much shame, Duo
Maxwell? Why do you cry? Why do you hold so much pain in that little
heart of yours, and not let
anyone take a peek? How a face so innocent should hold a heart so
dark is a quite an interesting
contrast. But I know you, for I am the one you can't lie to. I
know how you double up in
mind-boggling pain when the memories hit you, in a flash of
remembering. I know how your
mind goes black with horror when your flesh remembers the touches,
the stinging, the tearing. I've
seen the softness of your skin turn into a shapeless monster as
your face tightens when
receiving a visual flash. I've seen the pits of your Hell, and I have
not run away.
I wish that I was good enough
I will not run away. I will
not leave you.
I promised you.
Then I’d know that I am not
alone
It takes only two seconds alone
and I crumble. I know it hurts Heero, but it's really
impossible for me to do anything
about it. Something deep, deep inside me is torn. It's broken.
And it hurts. I guess its just
like Heero says: "Dying hurts like hell." Couldn't have said it
better myself.
Death is a policeman
Death is the priest
Death is a stereo
Death is the TV
Death is the Tarot
Death is an angel
Its nothing new, this routine.
It never gets better, but I am never able to stop. I have to
come back every once in a while
and reassure him that I'm not abandoning him. If you could only
see his scared little
face...hear his muffled cries in the middle of the night...I swear to
God, destiny or fate is the most
unfair bitch I have ever known. How can people in this world
be allowed such cruel acts and
go unpunished, and the soul of an angel is so inhumanly
destroyed, and yet the poor kid
still has to save the world? Where is God in all this? Fuck
him. The only God I know is
Death.
Death is our God
And it's killing us all.
She put the seeds in me
Plant this dying tree
She’s the burning string
And I’m just the ashes
Tomorrow, the day that never
comes, I'll be doing this over again. Drowning deep into the
depths of that Cobalt Ocean and
seeing him again. Back in L2. Back in Hell. And I'll tell him
again to never be alone. Because
we are Duo. A lonely angel born and raised...
In the Shadow of the Valley of
Death.
Goodnight, Duo.
END
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Author’s notes: This was a
quickie so it might be a little confusing *gomen!* but there’s good
stuff in there so I decided to
keep it. I just got the "Holy Wood" album and was listening to
the entire thing, it really is
inspiring, he hehe. I hope you like. Maybe more fanfics will
spring from similar sources!
‘Till then!
-Kuroi Tenshi=:)
Full Disclaimer:
Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing is
trademark and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and
associated companies. The
characters are used without permission for entertainment purposes and of
completely no
profit at all. Original portions
of this work belong to the author.