I
was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
I am taking it next semester and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
Now I am a paraplegic
Because I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high
I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why
Because I got high
Because I got high
Because
I got high
I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why
Cause I got high
Cause I got high
Cause
I got high
Will
somebody call me a cab?
I swallowed another tab
I might overdose under the circumstance
So betta yet call me an ambulance
Chorus
Cause I'ma dopefiend baby, I don't know why
All I wanna do is get high
Between your legs is where my brain is at
Cause I'ma nymphomaniac
I used to smoke marijuana when I was a kid
Now I'm trippin on acid
I'm high on every drug known to mankind
So go ahead and pass it
Chorus
My designated driver was this girl
Her name was Carolyn
But I can't go home cause she just died from an overdose of heroin
She's a dopefiend baby
She don't know why
All she wants to do is get high
Between her legs is where my brain is at
Cause I'ma nymphomaniac
Chorus
This butt naked girl sat next to me
And offered me some ecstasy
Then she gave me a big fat kiss with a mouth full of LSD
Chorus
Wave your hands in the air
Then wave it like you just don't care
If you got on clean underwear somebody say oh yeah
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Check it out all the homeboys gather round cuz
Repeat after me
Shit, God damn, get off your ass and jam
Shit, God damn, get off your ass and jam
Shit, God damn, get off your ass and jam
Shit, God damn, get off your ass and jam
My hands are shakin, my nose is twitchin, my eyeballs are real gigantic
I'm layin in bed, with a throbbin head, and I'm trippin on widespread panic
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Hell yeah, A man, I'm gonna do some impersonations right
A, the first one is a mixture between the lead singer of the B-52's
And Robert Smith from the cure right
Chorus
I'm gonna do Axl Rose from Guns N Roses cuz
Chorus
Willie Nelson, Willie Nelson, we gonna sing some country
Maybe I didn't fuck you
But little darling don't cry
The fact is I masturbated
About an hour before you came by
You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind
On the road again
Open up your legs and let me stick it in
My favorite past time is making love to my girlfriend
I can't wait to shoot my load again
Shoot my load again
Stick my dick some where it's never been
Hook
(Afroman
talking)
Hush, hush (yeah yeah)
Somebody's callin my name (if you listen closely baby)
Hush, hush (yeah yeah)
Somebody's callin my name
Hush (listen baby) hush (somebody's callin)
Somebody's callin my name
Oh my lord, oh my lord, what shall I do
(A man sometimes girls think I'm crazy cause I wake
her up and I tell her)
Sounds like Jesus (sounds like Jesus)
Somebody's callin my name (I know I'm high but baby)
Sounds like Jesus
And somebody's callin my name
Sounds like Jesus
Somebody's callin my name
Oh my lord, Oh my lord, what shall I do
(You know man, I think about all the hard times that I
went through and I think)
I'm so glad that trouble don't last always
I'm so glad that trouble don't last always
I'm so glad I'm glad that trouble don't last always
Oh my lord, Oh my lord, what shall I do
I gotta feelin, that everything's gonna be all right
I gotta feelin everything's gonna be all right
I gotta feelin that everything's gonna be all right
Be all right
Be all right
Be all right
(A man it's funny cause I learnt this song
when
I was a little kid
When I went to visit my granddaddy
Down
there in Mobile, Alabama
He stayed in this place called Trendy Garden
You
know what I'm sayin?
He used to grow his vegetables
Right
there on the side of the house
And every now and then he'd get me to help him out
Know
what I'm sayin?
And as he was like weedin out his garden and everything
He'd sing all kinda tunes and hymns
Know
what I'm sayin?
And sometime he'd sing the same one
Like
over and over and over again
You know what I'm sayin?
He'd get tired of singing the words
Sometimes he'd take a sip of his water outta that glass jar
Set
it back down
And while we was plantin them collard greens
He'd
hum it
Just like this right here, help me out cuz
You
know how we used to do it)
{*humming*}
It gets all in my hands
It gets all in my feet
It makes me wanna sing my song
To every little girl I meet
It gets all in my heart
It gets all in my sole
It comes straight out my mouth
And then I lose control
Cause I, I got this feelin, that everything's gonna be all right
Be all right
Be all right
Be all right
Chorus
Let's all get drunk tonight
I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight
Let's all get high tonight
Maybe nobody will die tonight
Let's all sell yell tonight
I hope I don't go back to jail tonight
Let's go to the club tonight
Find a woman that wanna make love tonight
A yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Let's get dumb
Drink some rum
Make my teeth and gum feel real numb
We'll be thinking bout survivin
While we're drinkin and we're drivin
Hope I don't wreck when my vision gets blurry
Sober up lookin at an all white jury
Judge don't like no drunk like me
Punk might give me strike number three
Cause when I'm drunk and when I'm high
I don't give a damn bout a DUI
Let's just get lit
Dance like a nitwit
Try to talk to the women that we can't get with
Me and my staff make everybody laugh
If the beer runs out we can all go half
It's Friday night got the perfect weather
Let's get drunk together
Chorus
Bacardi, Colt .45
Let's party we still alive
Tomorrow brings pain and sorrow
but tonight, we're all right
Drink that beer till your belly can't hold it
Tell the homeboys we fittin to get loaded
Rollin through the Ante-dope Valley out there
Hope the cops don't smell that beer on my breath
Cause if the sheriff
Catch a whiff
Of that fifth
It'll probably knock him stiff
Don't look dumb if my breath on hum
Stick your hand in you're pocket please, pass some gum
So the cops can't tell my breath smell
We won't go to jail
We'll go to Palmdale
With the beautiful women and the beautiful weather
We can both get drunk together
Chorus
Baby I beg your pardon
But your outfit's givin me a hardon
Maybe some way, maybe some how
You could dance with me, right here, right now
Been lookin at you all night long
That DJ's playin my favorite song
Everything's splendid, don't mean no harm
Don't get offended when I pull your arm
I ain't felt this good since I don't know when
And I might not feel this good again
It's Friday night, beautiful weather
Let's get drunk together
Chorus
Chorus
(Afroman
talking)
(Palmdale was like the peak of my life
But Palmdale over with homeboy
I'm fittin to go home cuz)
Please take me back home (you know what I'm sayin)
To Mississippi
(I got my Greyhound ticket right here man
I'm fittin to go back and kick it with my family cuz)
Please take me back home (take a couple pounds of this weed)
To Mississippi
(You shmell me homeboy
Yeah, take them fools back to '82 cuz)
Before South Central, Palmdale flossin
I stayed in a place called Palmer's Crossing
Hattiesburg, Mississippi
Smokin marijuana like a Woodstock hippy
All my homies in Laurel
Beg borrow
Buy my rap tape tomorrow
Tell DJ Pumpkin “Keep it crunckin Clyde”
Request my tape when you go inside
So I can take Jane and girl
To Waynesboro
Fuck their little homegirl
Make her toes curl
Rock their world
Leave with their Auntie Sheryl
She sucks me sucks me
Fucks me fucks me
Cries every time I leave Biloxi
But I hops in the Coup
Cause I gots to go
Scoop another ho
From Tupelo
Hit it once hit it twice, then I hit it again
Hit it in Meridian
Make that bitch rub her clit again
Pinch the nipples on her tit again
Suck my dick until she spit again
Chorus
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
Crooked letter crooked letter hump-back hump-back
Afroman's the bomb, bump that
Please take me back home (Hell yeah)
To Mississippi
From the delta to the coast
I'm doin the most
Grab your 40 ounce, let's toast.
I sold rock cocaine down in Ellisville
Baseheads hit the pipe, they can tell it's real
Kept my dope stashed with this hoochie
Way down yonder in East Bouche
Cops be sweatin outta town dog
Sniffin my car with a hound dog
Separate me from my bitch and shit
Tryin to get my bitch to fuckin snitch and shit
Officer Roscoe P. Coltrane
Runnin warrant checks on the Afroman
But I can't be no hip hop star
Cuffed in the back of some police car
Did you find the gun? NO!
Did you find the dope? NO!
Open up the back door “Well son, you're free to go”
A-F-R-O marijuana cargo
Flossed like a cholow
In a clean low glow
Come on let's all get drunk tonight
I hope I don't fight with a punk tonight
Get nervous
As I swerve this
Cadillac through Purvis
Hope I don't crash when I hit Petal
Get my ass kicked in the white ghetto
Prejudice police won't let me go
So I'ma drive slow
Hide my fro
I was dumb, now I'm dumber y'all
last summer y'all
I fucked all the little girls down in Sumrall
Grabbed my guitar and started pickin a tune
For Nikki and June
Down in Picayune, baby
Just like a shovel I be diggin
All the pretty young women in Wiggins
On the boat
Gulfport
I got my dick down some girl's throat
I can't help it I'm a Crip baby
I think you need to wipe your lip baby
Hula Hula Hula
The whole house ruler
What's up with all the bitches down in Pascagoula
Small towns, small cities
But they still got big ole asses plus titties
Is it a bird? Is it a plane?
It's the hungry hustler Afroman
Flyin through the air in my underwear
Geri curl activator in my hair
I'm in control like Janet when I hit Jackson
Always gettin plenty panty action
McClaine, even McComb
Tell the whole world Mississippi's your home
Yazoo, Columbia and Natchez
I got the weed brother, who got the matches?
Who got the funky DJ that scratches?
Depend on me like my name was patches
First it was a black thing, just the big Willies
Now I roll Phillies
With all the Hillbillies
Never ever thought I'd see the Klu Klux Klan
Buying front row seats for the Afroman
Confederate flags tobacco in their mouth
It's a beautiful thing jumpin off in the South
Afroman, I'm a part of it
Hattiesburg hip hop I'm the start of it
I'm the latest
I'm the greatest
And all you haters, I'll mash you like potatoes
I'll make your girlfriend holler and scream
Then cook me some cornbread and collard greens
Chorus
1982,
'83, '84
Erin, Broste, Carlos, and Tonto
Tryin to break dance in my B-Boy stance
Micheal Jackson glove, parachute pants
Calvin Gary, Garnett Jones
G-dog cuz, I don't believe we grown
But hey G-dog, you and me'll see dog
Whatever happens cuz, it's you and me dog
Or should I say loc
Cause you my folk
So let's take a toke
Till we croak
I'm a locsta locsta
Hundred spokesta
Drinking everyday like I'm supposed to
Bottle after bottle dog in my lip-a
Flowing on the mic like the Mississippi river
Chorus
Chorus
Yeah
Yeah
Just like bums, we used to stay
In the slums of LA, by the way
Gang-bangers killin' each other for reps
Sellin' rock cocaine on my doorstep
Had a ball to bounce plus a bike to ride
But my mamma never would let me play outside
But when I got enrolled in elementary school
Started bangin' like a fuckin' fool
So cool, throwin' up gang signs to the gangster beat
Shot an enemy from across the street
Mamma came home, said she got a good job
Daddy did too, now they don't squab
Financially, we improvin'
2 months later, "son, we movin"
No more duckin' from shotgun shells
Bought a two-story house in East Palmdale
Give it to me now
Palmdale, come back to me
I need you and I love you, baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Check it out, check it out, check it out
No more rats and no more roaches
Livin' next door to football coaches
Now I got a new place to sell my crack
Now I got little white kids to jack
I stopped wearin' blue, wasn't trippin' on red
Too busy squabbin' with the skinheads
Stupid questions, distract the class
Rubbin' little white girls on the ass
I didn't really care if I passed or failed
I knew I was headed for the NFL
Until the playoff game, shoulder got hurt
I thought about my future, layin' in the dirt
I can't jump, I can't flinch
Superstar player, ridin' the bench
Graduate from school? Don't make me laugh
I got an F+ in basic math
Give it to me now
Palmdale, (Hell yeah) come back to me
I gotta do one song for my neighborhood (chicken sound)
Palmdale, come back to me
Uh, uh, check it out
I knew I couldn't make it in the white man's world
So I bought me some khakis and a Gheri curl
I knew I couldn't make it to the NFL
I went to East Palmdale and started slangin' yell
Fo' sho'! I was makin' crazy dough
Shoulda dropped outta school a long time ago
Bought a cell phone, like a nut
Now I deliver like Pizza Hut
I drunk whiskey and Bacardi
I sold dope to anybody
Me and my homies sold dubs and dimes
Took turns bustin' rhymes just to pass the time
A white man drove up to my spot
He said, “Hey homeboy, what you got?”
I put a fat rock inside his hand
About 25 sheriffs jumped out the van
“Get down, punk.”
Palmdale, (Hell yeah) come back to me
Uh, I need you and I love you baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Check it out, check it out, check it out
Can't get drunk, can't get blunted
LA County, 95 hundred
Crips wanna take my All-stars
Bloods wanna eat my Snicker bars
Them peckerwoods don't want none
but the Mexican's straight own one
Them Essays, ???
That Essays always try to test me
So I jumped off the bed, cause I ain't no punk
Jammed his head up against the bunk
Socked that Cholo in his chin
Black mother fuckers scared to jump in
Sheriff broke it up when we hit the floor
I kept talkin' shit cause I want some more
Back in town, we get along with the brown
Now I'm in jail, they tryin' to beat me down
Jail is hell, but I'll adapt
Won't hesitate to get in a scrap.
Cause I'm down for mine, and that's for certain
Sittin' in the hole with my knuckles hurtin'
(Palmdale) Palmdale, (Hell yeah) come back to me
I need you and I love you, baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Yea, check it out homeboy
Now I got a fucked up life
Two bad kids and a naggin' wife
Dead end job at the airport
Check too short to pay the house note
Turn on the TV, then I see
Different homeboys that went to school with me
Playin' in the NFL
We used to kick back in East Palmdale
Rodney Williams, Lorenz Tate
Zeno plays for Colorado State
I wish my homeboys much success
But at the same time, I still get depressed
Walkin' through the wind with a cup full of gin
Thinkin' 'bout things I coulda, woulda, shoulda been
I wipe my tears, sip my beers, wish good luck to my peers
(Palmdale) Palmdale, come back to me
I need you and I love you, baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began
Palmdale, come back to me
I need you and I love you baby
Palmdale, come back to me
Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began
Palmdale, come back to me
Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at man?
Palmdale, come back to me
Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in Japan, Africa
Hey, you know how we used to do it, man
Hey, hey, hey
Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!)
Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!)
Yo, what do we sell? (Yell!)
Yo, where we gonna go? (We gonna go back to jail!) (4x)
Dale. Palmdale (Hey, everybody just clap your hands)
Dale. Palmdale (C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Chicken noise)
Dale. Palmdale
Dale. (Where them Falcons at?) Palmdale.
(It ain't over 'til the fat man sings)
Dale. (Little Rock can't get none. What, what?) Palmdale
Dale. Palmdale
(Hey Sugar, how you doin'?
Your pretty face don't match that nasty attitude
What do you mean, 'Where's my girl?'
Probly
with your man. Can we fuck?)
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
(Hey, check this out.)
It's so frustrating being a ma
All
these sexy women don't understand
Things we need to do, every other day or two
Like take you home baby, and make sweet love to you,
But you, you won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc
(You
say the mood ain't right.)
I really need to bust a nut.
(I
know that pussy's tight.)
She won't let me fucc
(Give
it to me, baby.)
I really need to bust a nut.
Her heart is still broken
(Poor baby.)
Her emotions are sore
(I
know what you mean, girl.)
She is trying to recover from the man before
(Hey,
that's my homeboy, cuz.)
Her ex-boyfriend,
(Who, Jermaine?)
He
probly can't see (shake that ass.)
that it was easy for him
(uh, say what?)
But he made is hard for me
(Why,
man?)
Cause she, she won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc.
(Aw,
give it to me baby.)
I really need to bust a nut
(You
know just what I need.)
She won't let me fucc
(Girl, you eatin' all my food
you
drinkin' all my beerˇ)
I really need to bust a nut.
(ˇ
you smokin' all my weed!)
You rub your ass against me on the disco floo
(shake
that ass.)
I asked you for your number and you said 'Hell no!'
(That's alright. Hey, fuck that bitch look at that one over there,cuz.)
You always hang around me everyday
Different women wanna kick it
but
you scare them away.
Now I get offended when you come around
cause I'm tired of my organs
(Your organs?) going up and down
That
sucks, cause she won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc
(Aw,
give it to me baby, give it to me honey.)
I really need to bust a nut
(Don't
play with my head again.)
She won't let me fucc
(Let
me hit it baby, let me hit it baby.)
I really need to bust a nut
(Are
you a lesbian?)
Oh, let me lick it baby
Let
me stick it honey. Buccoooc!
I'll give you my money.
Girl, you can have it all
Go
ahead and have a ball.
If you want, you can take them both, baby.
In the year 2000
I
see thousands of pretty young women I find arousin'
Grocery store shopping, magazine browsin'
many
different ways they keep their hair styles and
Full of boredom, I walk toward 'em
get
'em close to me cause I'm supposed to be
Male aggressor, female impresser
Say
the right things, possibly undress her.
But that's the post game
this
is still the pre-game.
Silly woman She-game
Baby,
what's your name?
Even though I'm a freak
I play it off like a college geek
crack
a smile and politely speak
With intellect to the woman I select
hoping
that she won't detect
my egotistical chauvinistical lust
I
thrust 'til I scream like Mystical.
The wrong message I hope I'm not sendin
Laughing
and pretending my dick's not extending.
Can't be overzealous
she might discover
She's
walkin' away (Biatch!) blew my cover.
She won't let me fucc
(You
know I love you.)
I really need to bust a nut
(Please
don't change the subject.)
She won't let me fucc
(We
coulda fucked all night longˇ)
I really need to bust a nut
(ˇ
but, but, but, but your telephone number is wrong.)
She won't let me fucc
(Girl
you got a lot to give.)
I really need to bust a nut
(You
dress, you dress, so provocative.)
She won't let me fucc
(I
can see your lingerie, from real far away.)
I really need to bust a nut
(Bitch,
you must think I'm gay.)
Don't make me beg
Baby,
let me rub your leg.
Don't make me cry
Look
into my eye.
Girl, you damn pretty
Stop actin' so, ____?
Put
some oil on your titt--.
Hey, man, I'm up outta here
She
don't wanna f*ck.
Yes! Yes!
Thank
you for inviting me here for my final speech.
Ladies and gentlemen,homosexuals, lesbians, and transvestites,
allow me to introduce myself
As
the Hungry Hustler, Afroman.
I am the American Dream
Even
though the government tried to experiment with me
by placing me in the ˇ°projects,ˇ±
I'm
still the American Dream.
Surrounded by drugs,
jeopardized my life by living around thugs,
but I'm still the American Dream.
Kicked outta Palmdale High School
because I was considered a distraction to the educational process.
I've traveled through the complete metamorphosis of the justice system,
and I'm still the American Dream.
Entered Juvenile Hall as a tadpole;
hopped outta prison as a bull frog,
but I'm still the American Dream.
The most rejected, disrespected,
when I went for a job I was never selected,
but I am still the American Dream.
And right about now,
I find it quite serendipitous to see that all of you some-timin',
wishy-washy, two-faced, back-stabbin',
coniving hypocrites have accumulated here in my midst
To
persecute my character
with such flagrant slanderousity,
but I counter-attack by calling it constructive criticism,
and all of your negativity has been recycled into motivation,
and I am still the American Dream.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Was
blind, but now I see.
There's a lot of people out there
Who
can identify with me.
Young lady right here
You
may be a single teenaged mother,
but you are still the American Dream.
The lady next to you, yes
Your breasts may not be as big
As
men think they should be,
but you are still the American Dream.
Young man, you may not be a baller, shot caller,
with 20 inch blades on the impala
But
you are still the American Dream.
Young man right here
you may have spent all your money
on
a hood rat bitch
and didn't get no pussy last night
but
you are still the American Dream.
Yes sir, I am just like Ham
I'm
for the black man,
the mexican, and even poor white,
all human beings that have no rights
So
put down your past, pick up your future,
follow me as we journey through the Red Sea,
cause I have been to the mountain top,
I've seen the Promised Land,
mine eyes have seen the glory of the Underground Category.
My mind has been delivered.
My spirit has been reinstated
from
the Corporate World's modern-day slavery.
I've been emancipated
Free
at last! Free at last! Fuck a drug test,
I'm fittin' to roll some grass
Love,
peace, and Afro grease, Fro-ever! Buccooocc!
A-E-I-O-U, and sometimes W.
'Cuz I'm high
cuz I'm high
cuz
I'm high.
Wait
a minute man
Ay check this out man
It was this blind man, right?
Man check this
It was this blind man, right?
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right?
Ay, he walked past this fish market
You know what I'm sayin'?
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Woo, good morning ladies
You like that shit man?
Ay, I got a gang of that shit, man
I tell you what
My man on the guitar
Ay, fool on the drums
Everybody just crowd 'round the mic
I tell you all these motherf****n' jokes I got man
So first I'm gonna start it off like this
Help me sing it home boy, come on
Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin on datin rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and my cd's just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
Well it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it eastside Palm Dell
When the Afro Man walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
when I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy
cuz I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan
We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the flo'
Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left
Fucked to the right
She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself
Sheeba sheeba got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin with a two-by-fo'
Oh, he beat me to the left
He beat me to the right
The motherfucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudice dad
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bad of weed and a bottle o' wine
I'm a f*** that b***h just one more time
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin on datin rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and my cd's just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but damn she looked good
I took her to my house
Cuz she was fine
But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once
I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties, too
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass and she said I E
Lips was breakfast
Pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiin punch
Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
She said I'll fry some chicken if you just bump me
I came in her mouth
It was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with hennessy
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said "Yes, Miss Daisy"
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan I can't wait 'til I f*** that b***h again
Met a real black girl down in South Carolina
Fucked her 'til she turned into a white albina
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth now I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy ho
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
Fine young thang said her name's Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married but I can't afford it
I know I'm a cry when she get deported
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
Have you ever went ova' a girl's house to f***
But the pussy just ain't no good? (say what)
I mean you gettin' upset cuz you can't get her wet
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
But it take her so long to cum
Then a dude walk in
That's her big boyfriend
And he asks you where you from (where you from homey?)
So you wipe your mouth and you try to explain (I don't bang)
You start talkin' real fast (I don't bang)
But he already mad cuz you fuckin' his woman
So he start beatin' on yo' ass
Now ya clothes all muddy
Ya nose all bloody
Your dick was hard but now it's all (what)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Now you still gotta go jack off
Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park...
