(To be read in a posh, michael burke accent)
It was a warm, humid Sunday afternoon and Pete, Lol, Steve and Moe were out for a leisurely weekend stroll when they approached an inviting, sea-view bench on the promenade. The time was approximately six thirty four when they sat down to rest after a long and tiresome day fishing in the quarry.
So, the four chums chatted joyfully about times past in the weary summer surroundings of their humble hometown when as if from nowhere Pete, that jolly fellow, started to sustain a hot and bothered notion within his quarters and muttered the words- ‘That’s fuckin’ Andy Serkis!’
The boys quickly became concerned about the current situation and looked towards the area forthwith Pete was pointing.
‘Who?’ muttered Lol. ‘Fuckin’ Gollum!’ replied Pete with a swift but firm tone of voice. So, Moe (like the cheeky gay he is) called ‘Andy!’ much to Pete’s annoyance.
So Master Pete rose from him squatting position on his primitive throne on the promenade and quickly made his way over to the scally-wag named Andy Serkis.
‘Is it really you?’ whispered Pete. ‘Yes it’s me’ Andy smiled.
Soon enough the rest of the chappies were with Pete and wondering whom the person in question was.
‘Anyone seen The Lord of the Rings? He plays Gollum!’ Said Pete.
The boys looked confused but strangely bewildered at the possibility that there may be a celebrity in Broadstairs. So Pete continued his quest to reveal the identity of the individual, ‘Go on Andy do the voice mate.’ Said Pete.
They stood there in great anticipation and moved closer.
'The ring is mine, my precious!' the eventful words slipped out of his joyfully bearded mouth as the boys ghasped in fright.
'Shit! it's gollum!' the lads cried, 'yeh, just got back from New Zeland finishing off the Return of the King.' Andy replied. The fellows gathered in thought and amounted to the same presumtion of question. 'Is it good?' they muttered.
'Yes,' he continued 'It's better than the first two put together.'
They stood in amazement as Andy the old jolly man himself shook thier hands and went on his pilgrimage to return to his ye olde porsche of the Boxter variety, with a smile upon his face.
So, Pete, lol, Steve and Moe (the cheecky gay) were overwhelmed with exitement and started to walk away into the horizon when, 'Pete!' Andy cried and jumped out of his Porsche and ran towards Pete, 'I wan't my picture taken with you Pete.'
Pete thought to himself and was not pleased with Gollum's recent shannanigans. 'Ok Andy, make it quick.'
So he ran joyfully to Pete and Andy fullfulled him dream. (Pete doesn't care much as you can see in the picture)
'We love you Andy 'Gollum' Serkis!'
Some of the incidents in this story may have been altered slightly for comedic value. Please don't sue us.
