MR. GEORGE FOX Mrs. Fox: Hello? Me: Hi may I speak to a Mr G Fox please Mrs. Fox: Yes hold on...GEORGE! PHONE... George: Hello? Me: Is this Mr G. Fox? George: Yes thats me Me: Well... I believe you have a tax problem George: No... Me: *surprised* Oh? This isnt Gregory Fox then? George: No Me: Who is it then? Silence Me: Hello? George: Hi Me: Are you Gregory Fox? George: No Me: Who are you then? George: George Fox Me: Oh...Sorry mate...Wrong number George: OK...No problem Me: Bye *Hangs up* Mrs. Fox: Hello? Theo: Hello can I speak to Mr G Fox plz Mrs. Fox: Yes hold on a second Theo: Thank you George: Hello? Theo: Hello Mr G Fox George: Yes speaking Theo: You have a tax problem man, pay up tonight or else Silence George: Wha? Who is this? Theo: Oh arent you Gareth Fox? George: NO! Look stop phoning me house aight *Hangs up* Mrs. Fox: Hello? Me: Hi can I speak to George Fox please Mrs. Fox: Who is this?! Me: David Sparrow Mrs. Fox: OK hang on a second George: Hello? Me: Alright George silence Me: Hello? George? George: Hi Me: Hi it's me, Dave George: Who? Me: David Sparrow Silence - George puts the phone down but doesn't hang up Me: George...Don't blank me...George? GEORGE...GEORGE! George this is important man...It's regarding work...Aight then fuck you *Hangs up* Me: Hi is this George Fox? George: Yeh Me: Shudnt you be at work? I mean, its 11 o clock...' Silence George: *Hangs up* MR. DAVID SPARROW Mrs. Sparrow: Hello? Me: Hi I have an ugent message for a Mr. D Sparrow Mrs. Sparrow: Right... Me: Well the urgent message is...Drop everything...Come quick...Craig's in trouble... Mrs. Sparrow: Who? Me: Craig...He's in trouble Mrs. Sparrow: hmmm... Me: Can you tell him please Mrs. Sparrow: Whos it for again? Me: Mr. D Sparrow Mrs. Sparrow: Well are you lookin for David Sparrow or his dad? Me: David...ohhh I was lookin for a Duane Sparrow, sorry Mrs. Sparrow: Ohhh Duane Sparrow? Me:: Yeah sorry Mrs. Sparrow: OK then bye bye Me: Bye *Hangs Up* MR. THEODORE FOX WATSON IN A SCOTTISH VOICE Theodore: Hello? Watson: Is this Theodore Fox? Theodore: Yes it is...Who's speaking? Watson: it's Gregory Fox Theodore: ...Nancy? Watson: No this isn't Nancy Theodore: This is Nancy ain't it? Watson: No muthafucka this isn't Nancy Theodore: Oh please Nancy, I can tell it's you from your voice Watson: No this is Gregory Fox...I'm just wondering if the family reunion is still on for the 12th? Watson: Goodbye Nancy...I'm expecting an important call and i dont need this shit right now! *Hangs up* MR. MICHAEL TORTOISE Michael: Hello? Theo: Hello is that Michael Tortoise? Michael: Speaking Theo: Hi it's your long lost cousin here, Henry and I was wondering if that family reunion is going on on the 21st? Michael: Sorry what's your name? Theo: Henry Michael: Henry what? Theo: Henry Tortoise Michael: OK and how is that spelt? Theo: Oh it's spelt Tortoise Michael: Yes but how is it spelt? Theo: Oh ok... It's spelt like the animal is spelt Michael: Right and who are your mum and dad? Theo: Paula and Anthony Tortoise! Michael: Right I dont recall. So where are you from? Theo: Norwich! Michael: Well I'm sorry I dont have any family in Norwich... Theo: Oh well... Well I did tell you I was your LONG LOST cousin Henry! Michael: You are winding me up aren't you... Theo: Umm...Maybe Silence Theo: Yes...Yes I am Michael: OK well put the phone down Theo: OK then, bye bye *Hangs up* MRS. SUSAN FERRET Susan: Hello? *child wailing in background* Me: Hi is this Susan Ferret? Susan: Yes it is Me: And do you live at Flat number 59 Bentley House? Susan: Yes, whos calling? Me: Oh its just the Landlord of Bentley House Susan: The Landlord of Bentley House? Me: Yeah...I'm sorry but I've had many complaints off...Joel Badger Susan: Who? Me: Joel Badger Susan: WHO? Me: JOEL BADGER Susan: Who is this? Me: Its just the Landlord, I've had many complaints off Joel Badger saying your flat is very messy...and on 1 occasion he described it as a pigsty Susan: *Laughs* Who is this? Me: The Landlord Susan: Whats your name? Me: Michael Tiger Susan: *Bursts out with laughter* No seriously who are you? Gary: Michael Tiger. Enough with the laughing lady I'm sorry your gonna have to leave Susan: "*still laughing* Who is this havin a joke? Me: *sighing* Michael Tiger Susan: *Stops laughing* Who are you? Me: Michael Tiger Susan: *Laughs once more* Who are you?! Me: *Sighs again* Nevermind.... *Hangs up* MS. PATRICIA EAGLE Stain: Hey is that Patricia Eagle? Asian voice: No she not here right now, you wanna leave message? Stain: I was just calling to express my outrage at your eagle entrapment camp your running! Asian voice: What?! Stain: You should be ashamed at yourself! Asian voice: Whu? Stain: *Hangs up*