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How can parents deal with their own feelings? Finding out that your own child has molested another child may be one of the most difficult life experiences you’ll ever have to face. Most parents go into shock initially, then through a period of denial where they try to pretend that nothing has happened. For a while they might feel as though they’re on a roller coaster ride of unfamiliar and conflicting emotions. Here are some common reactions: There’s been a mistake. My child would never have done such a thing. It’s not our fault. There’s too much talk about sex these days. Look at the TV commercials. It’s a wonder they don’t all grow up to be perverts. I’m so ashamed. Where did we go wrong? They’ll lock him up with hardened criminals and he’ll come out even worse. I’ll go crazy and kill him. We don’t need any help. We’ve always handled our own problems as a family. If we can all pull together, we can put this behind us in no time. I feel so helpless. Everyone else is ‘calling the shots’ now. If you’re a parent whose child has molested another child, it’s quite normal to go through all of these reactions, often within a short space of time. You should get professional help, either from your child’s sexual abuse counsellor, or from a counsellor of your own. The crisis may also trigger memories of sexual abuse incidents from your own childhood which you’ve tried to forget.
