POEMS 10
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Be my Friend As I grow my friends don' t accept me Why? Why are they mean to me? Why do they call me names? What did I do? I like to run, jump and play My heart beats just like theirs I might look and act a little different But on the inside I am just like them I hurt, I cry, I hurt, I laugh, I hurt, I play, Tell me why
Cornered Was it summer, Or was it fall, Was it spring, I can’t remember at all. I was seven, You were nineteen, You were someplace You shouldn’t have been. You said “come back, come play with me” I giggled and said “ok” You were a friend I saw you that way. Now it’s me in a corner, And my heart’s in a jar, You’re on my leg , And you’re going too far. I’m in a corner, My soul’s a scared little elf, I’m not much bigger than that myself. And your spectator grins, And you find your way in, And I don’t fight, And I don’t scream, I’m too young to know what it means. And it’s me in a corner, And a V on my back, Your soul is as dark, As your hair is black. I’m starting to feel like Alice, Entering a different world. And when he finishes with me, He buckles up his jeans, He says “don’t breathe a word” My little elf takes off With a one winged bird I think: Was it my earning, Or was it my due, To be in a corner With the likes of you? I stay in my corner, Even after you’ve gone, I don’t know what it means But I know you did me wrong. And I’m still in my corner, All scared and sad, I try to tell my little elf It's not that bad. But she doesn’t buy it, And neither do I, I’m so numbed now, I bleed myself to cry. I’ve done it, I’m in a corner, But not the same one, But still a corner, If not the same one.
I remember the storm. I took flight, soon on the run, away into the corner Where I stood embarrassed in punishment When my tiger was only an egg His pants went down and so did my guard I was to young for Spike or Catt to save me And to ashamed now to speak to him myself Hovered above my shadow like Beast Please understand I cry over and over to anyone who will listen Please understand that it wasn’t my fault That I didn’t know about Amy’s tobacco Please don’t I plead again and again to anyone who will care Please don’t let me die with this. His rain pours nrom above me, flooding his invisibility Cloudy demeanor - Makeup running away to never again Look back at what I tried to comprehend or forget There’s fine hairs on his fist, how I notice such little things And not even a hint of disapproval in his eyes! But he’s swinging like a boxer and bruising like a violet Please understand I cry over and over to anyone who will listen Please understand that it wasn’t my fault That I can’t help that I can’t touch you the same Please don’t I plead again and again to anyone who will care Please don’t let me die with this. Then the shades go down from behind a merciless fire Birds in my ears and peace in my mind So I hide it in a trapdoor beneath a cat’s cage And years later and much to gone I pretend That it isn’t just me - That it isn’t ever my fault Then why don’t I feel any more normal But I remember a storm. Laid back and torn open in the corner Pulled aside; he pushed inside and still I’m always running Swinging, but only faintly, on full arms, collapsing On my bony shoulders his breathe is wetting my neck And shaking teeth in my throat who have been Voraciously fainting as they die in the storm It dissipated and forever brought the smoke in to hide my third eye I tried to. Please understand I cry over and over to anyone who will listen Please understand that it wasn’t my fault That I don’t know how to hold you as dear as you hold me Please don’t I plead again and again to anyone who will care Please don’t let me die with this on my shoulders.
No I sat crouched in the corner, eyes like those of a child just woken from a nightmare, while you slept across the room. My back slowly turned purple bruises shaped like the light switch -- the thermostat, and your red hand on my face faded. You acted as if nothing happened. To you, it didn't. To you, you did nothing wrong. I flirted -- I kissed -- I went upstairs. But I didn't say yes. I cried the opposite. The calendar pages have come full circle. Those bruises on my back are gone -- they've faded, but the memories haven't. Like that one childhood fear that haunts you, the ghosts of your violence are etched into my nightmares.
Our father Who aren't in heaven Shallow be thy name. Thy petulance come, Thy will be done To coerce, to control, And to threaten. Give us this day Our legacy: dead, Unforgiving and cold as those Who have trespassed against us. You bleed us not of temptation, But of dignity primeval. For thine is the kingdom Of power and authority; We honour you never. Amen.
Places with cobwebs in the back of my mind Who knew my little girl would be so hard to find? I'm a master at hiding I know how to run I am my own assassin hunting with my gun There's a place for it with vommit where I am forced to swim No one knew my little girl was ever there with him A master at hiding In places they wouldn't see Planting a sapling that would grow into a tree There's a place for it with pillows where they still touch her in her dreams Still trying to find my little girl because i can hear her screams She's drowning in a river She slept alone at night Now i know i have to find her to make sure that she's alright There's a place for it with air when I will let it breate I'll hold it in my arms I'll teach it not to seethe On the brink of boiling On the brink of free You took my little girl Now give her back to me.
You Thought You Took It All You tried to steal from me, but I took it all back; I now am everything that you lack. You look down at your feet, you hang your head low; Wishing not to be recognized from newspapers and television shows. You may not be dead but you are already in hell; but it was you that gave me such a wicked tale to tell. I hold my head high, I know no shame; For you and I both know that I am not the one to blame.
