STORY 12
HOME
STORY INDEX
I am a 28 year old female from Ohio who was raped as a child. I am not sure at what age the abuse began but i remember having dreams about it as early as four years of age. My mother's second husband was who sexually abused me for several years. I told my mother about it once and she only threatened him which lasted for a while but then the abuse began again. Finally my father after noticing that I was uncomfortable around him set me down and ask me why every time he would enter the same room that I would quickly leave the room. After that he contacted the police and charges were filed. My step father was convicted and sentenced to 5 to 25 years in Prison. My sophmore year in HS he was released on probation. Now I see him constantly walking the streets and at one time he only lived about 5 minutes from my house. I have always struggled with the sexual abuse from being ashamed of my body to thinking all sexual activity was bad. When I met my husband we were best friends for about 2 years before dating. Now we have four beautiful children and my past is haunting me again, this time threatening my marriage. Recently my husband and I started going to marriage counseling. In the last several weeks I have started having dreams of the sexual abuse. As a result I constantly think about it and every time my husband touches me it triggers a memory of something that was done to me during as a child. So as a result I have completely pushed hime away and feel like I am going crazy. My counselor got my husband to agree to be patient with me as long as I agreed to meet with her alone to discuss the details of my abuse. I do not want to do this but I agreed anyway. Now I am wondering how I will be able to share these details with her when I have never shared them with anyone. I am also in the process of getting a copy of the criminal file of my case so that I my find out mor einofrmation that might help me. I know I don't remember everything about the sexual abuse. Honestly I don't know why I chose to respond to this other than the hopes of some advice from someone who has been in similar territory. Thanks for listening. Signed: nameless in ohio
