STORY 13
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By the definition of sexual abuse, I have been abused several times. I don't remember the first time yet because it is a suppressed memory. I do know several other times in my life where I became a victim of sexual abuse because I just wanted people to like me. I let boys at my daycare touch me when they asked me to and I engaged in sexual activities with boys that were the same age as me when I was as young as 6 or 7 years old. The last times that I remember are the ones that effect me the most. When I was 16, I spent the weekend with a friend that I really trusted. I never knew anything was going to happen, otherwise I wouldn't of gone. I was sleeping and when I woke up, the girl was touching me all over. I was too scared of making her mad at me, so I pretended to stay asleep. Then the other time was just 2 months ago. I let another female do the same thing because I was too scared to stop her. I didn't know this lady nearly as well. I am learning now, through counseling that I have to get out of the victim mode. Because I have always thought everything was my fault, I never let myself see the true beauty instilled in me through Jesus. I am learning. I pray that this story would be of at least a little hope to people who have suffered the same thing. Just a little bit of advice, if you have been through abuse and you are confused and hurt, don't feel bad. It is really hard to love yourself or anyone else if you have been put in a victim position. Let God help you. Counseling is great also. God Bless!
