STORY 15
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Finally free at 23 During a conversation with my grandmother, she told me that she had saw my father and he wanted to know if I needed anything. I told my grandmother that I did not want to hear anything about him. She told me that I was crazy, because he was only trying to help. I told her what I had remembered happening to me when I was 3, she said that she knew that it had happened because she was the one who took me to the doctors but she did not know who had been abusing me. She said that the doctor told her that I had a sexually transmitted disease (at the age of 3 ) and that in fact I had been sexually abused. I was furious when she told me, I asked her why she hadn't told me before. I had gone through life thinking no one knew and it was this big secret. She said that I was so young they didn't think that I would remember and then as time went on it just wasn't discussed. I am still confused as why they did not suspect my father. From every since I can remember, I never wanted to be around him, never talked to him, and never acknowledged him as a person. Of course my father denied the whole abuse when he was asked by my mother and grandmother, but when I confronted him about it (he still did not admit it) but said that he was sorry that he messed up my life and broke down in tears. Meanwhile, my half-brothers do not know that this happened. I don't know them very well because I was never around my father. Deep down inside I want to tell them, especially now that I saw my father with his granddaughter one day. All I hope is that he is not abusing that little girl. She looked to be around 2 or 3 years of age. Note: I really had a problem referring to him as my father while writing this letter. I usually refer to him by his first name, because I have no respect for him. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Now, I am trying to deal with the long-term effects of sexual abuse such as; trust, relationships, and interacting with people. It is hard but I am doing great.
