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lost and alone by Angie Its new years eve and I am home alone,last year my dauughter told me that her father had been raping and molesting her for about 12 yrs.she was 15 at the time, I informed social services and the police and he was areested straight away,I thought I had had a happy marriage and this was initially a bolt from the blue, but with hindsight I realised the signs were there I just didn't see them,it also came out that my son (not his child)had suffered terrible mental and physical abuse while I was out working, and that he had guessed what was happening to his sister but was too afraid to say anything, he is 2yrs older than his sister, during the run up to the trial I seemed to have a lot of local support (I live in a small village) but he was found not guilty in september and is now free to do whatever he wants,and everyone lost interest. I have no friends, my husband and his family were all I had apart from workmates, and they have all turned thier backs on us, my mum lives closeby but she is neurotic and manic depressive so she's not much help, my sister lives 100 miles away and I don't drive, I feel like a total failure,my kids lives are in tatters, they cope ok on a daily basis but my daughter self harms, and my son has had a mental breakdown, they both lash out at me whenever they feel like,I know they are hurting and I try so hard to be patient with them because they have been through so much but they are both caught up in thier own pain and don't realise that I am hurting too, my whole world has fallen apart I have let them both down I am a total failure as a mother and I have lost my trust in everybody around me, how could I have married a monster and not known what was happening for so long ? I can't believe I was so stupid and gullible, I loved my husband very much and thought my marriage was perfect, everything was just one big fat lie, why did I work so hard ? why didn't I worry when he was always out of work and at home with my kids ? I wish he was dead , I can't understand how his family can turn on my daughter without a second thought and believe she could make up such terrible lies, I know she isn't lying ,the physical evidence wasn't conclusive the police could prove she had been molested but not by who, anyone with half a brain would know she wouldn't say her own father did it if there was anyone else to point the finger at. they have both gone out with thier friends tonight and I'm worried sick about them and what state they'll come home in.
