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When I was about five years old you saw me sitting there, I smiled you smiled back, what a great Uncle you were, those sweets you use to buy the Rhubarb and custard ones I use to love, you took me to the zoo one day just you and me, how so special I felt, I use to run down stairs to greet you at the bottom with a huge smile and you use to give me some of those sweets and wink, dont tell ye mother you use to say, I would go running right into the kitchen where My da use to sit and say Shhh Look da look what Uncle got for us dont tell Ma though, Shhh, that is really the only thing I can really remember of your Kindness, you went into hospital for a few weeks Im not sure what is was for but My Ma said it was because you drank to much, I remember thinking How can someone be poorly from drinking? I waited for you to get out of hospital again, It seemed like you were in there for ever but every moment I always cried when My Ma and Da wouldnt let me go to the hospital with them to see you, When you came out I as so excited My ma said you wanted me to go spend the weekend with you I jumped about singing Rhubarb and custard, Till My Ma scolded me for the noise, you came to pick me up, you didnt look the same different somehow, you didnt wink or smile, But I thought you still might be poorly, things werent the same at your house that night No toys, No games, No fun, In a way you had me uneasy even at that age I knew something was very wrong, I went to bed and thought I had upset you somehow, I slowley went to sleep thinking Ill say sorry tommorrow and it be ok, The memories of that one night are still so very clear Perhaps somehow in my mind I knew that was the night something bad was going to happen and somethng told me to hold on to every thought, That night changed and shaped the rest of my life Uncle, you were nasty to me, you came into my room that night and touched me in places no one had ever touched me before, I remember thinking whats he doing whys he doing this? Although I never said a word in a way I pretended to still be asleep, next morning came anly this time it was me who was a different person uncle you did'nt seem so different anymore, you offered me some rhubard and custard sweets and I didnt take them from you, I wanted to go home I didnt want to be with you anymore, not ever, I heard you phone my mum and tell her I was having a great time and I could stay another night, No! I didnt want to stay another night, you wouldnt let me take the phone from you so I was going to stay another night after all, I couldnt sleep that night afraid of what you would do, you did come to my room again only this time was different you said you had something to show me, I followed you to the outside shed and in there in a box sat 4 kittens , I smiled as I saw them was this uncles way of making friends again I thought to myself, go on you can stroke them he said I knelt down and started to play with the kittens they were so sweet and playfull, I heard the shed door lock, it was dark and dusty I didnt want to be in here, Eyes Glaring at me he took the kittens and drowned them I cried and begged him not to hurt them, He simply said Ever tell anyone and thats what Ill do to you, That was the start of Five years Of sexual Abuse from My Uncle and his friend, I wont go into more details about what happened as Ive told my story as far as I can at the moment, MY abuse did end when I was 10 , My Uncle killed himself I never knew what happened to his friend, I didnt know what to feel when this happened I was happy but also so scared I would be blamed, I tried to tell my mum what was happening when I was nine, But she coldly turned her back on me, I really thought she would help but she simply said She didnt love me anymore, I tried to settle into life again knowing I didnt never have to worry about him again, But found I was constantly putting myself in danger, I was raped again when I was 13 by another family member but thats a different story and perhaps one day Ill tell it,
